In this inspiring episode of Work Like a Mother, host Marina Tolentino sits down with bestselling author, coach, and mom of three, Chris Janssen, to dive deep into her journey from perfectionism to sobriety. Chris opens up about the pressures of motherhood, addiction, and learning how to show up for the life you truly want, even when it’s hard. With vulnerability and wisdom, Chris shares her story of overcoming self-sabotage, high-achiever habits, and her struggle with alcohol while raising her kids. Now a coach who empowers others, Chris explains the difference between perfectionism and healthy achievement, and why it’s so important to stay committed to your goals—even when the craving to quit sets in. Listen in as they explore the concept of serenity, the importance of community, and how to navigate life’s pressures with grace. Whether you’re navigating your own sobriety, perfectionist tendencies, or just looking for guidance on how to "show up" in your own life, this episode is full of actionable advice, real-life stories, and encouragement for women everywhere.

Mentioned in this Episode

Be It Till You See It: https://lesleylogan.co/category/podcast/be-it-till-you-see-it/

Living All In: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BHH3Z7MD

Chris Janssen

https://www.chrisjanssencoaching.com/

Preorder your copy of "Grace Yourself" for February 18: https://www.graceyourselfbook.com/

Marina Tolentino tackles a challenge many of us face—how to make friends as an adult! With the rise of social media and a busy life filled with family, work, and everything in between, it's easy to feel isolated. But Marina is here to guide you through the practical steps of rekindling friendships, forming new connections, and even leveling up those casual relationships into true, lasting friendships. Marina shares how to overcome the “loneliness epidemic” and the science of friendship—explaining how it takes about 50 hours to build a casual relationship, 90 hours to become real friends, and 200 hours to get close. From reconnecting with old friends to joining local groups, striking up conversations at workout classes, or even creating your own mom group, Marina has the tips you need to build your grown-up girl gang. If you’ve been missing that connection with your girlfriends or are unsure of how to start fresh, this episode is packed with real-life advice and fun ideas. Grab your favorite fall latte and tune in!

In this episode of Work Like a Mother, host Marina Tolentino drops a much-needed truth bomb for all the busy moms out there: it’s time to ditch the outdated idea of “work-life balance” and embrace a new mindset—work-life harmony! Instead of chasing an impossible 50/50 split between work and home life, Marina shares how we can flow with the natural seasons of life, finding ease and joy amidst the chaos of motherhood and entrepreneurship. Marina dives into practical steps to create harmony, including setting boundaries, embracing the current season of life, and curating a schedule that aligns with your core values.

Whether you’re running a business or running after little ones, this episode is packed with inspiration to help you feel more aligned, grounded, and in control of your time.

Tune in for a fresh perspective on juggling it all, and leave with actionable tips on how to stop hustling and start thriving.

In this eye-opening episode of Work Like a Mother, host Marina Tolentino dives into the pressing issue of screen time and its profound effects on today’s children. Inspired by Jonathan Haidt’s bestselling book The Anxious Generation, Marina breaks down the shocking data linking smartphones and social media use to the rise in anxiety, depression, and self-harm among kids—particularly Gen Z.

As a mom and entrepreneur, Marina shares her personal insights and real-life experiences while highlighting practical strategies to help moms set boundaries around screen time and foster healthier habits for their children. This book review episode isn’t just about raising awareness—it’s about empowering moms to make informed decisions for their families in today’s digital age.

Whether you're struggling to manage screen time or simply want to protect your kids from the hidden dangers of the online world, this episode will leave you with a newfound perspective on parenting in the age of smartphones.

Marina Tolentino dives into the “closing shift” concept—a nightly routine designed to help moms reset their homes and minds for a smooth start the next day. Drawing inspiration from her past in the hospitality industry, Marina shares how this simple practice can transform chaotic evenings into moments of calm and clarity. From kitchen clean-ups and prepping for tomorrow’s hustle, to winding down with intention, she covers actionable tips that busy moms can easily incorporate into their routines. Tune in for a quick dose of motivation and leave feeling empowered to tackle the messiest of days with grace and humor. Plus, discover why this simple shift can be a game-changer for your sanity and productivity. Don’t miss this chance to reset, recharge, and reclaim your evenings!

In this episode of "Work Like a Mother," Marina Tolentino welcomes her very own editing team Elena and Semion, the dynamic duo behind Create & Elate, a full-service video production agency that serves clients across Europe and the United States. As parents to a ten-month-old and experienced entrepreneurs, Elena and Semion share their journey from corporate careers to running a thriving business that delivers high-end video content. They discuss the importance of authenticity in video marketing, the impact of AI on creative workflows, and their strategies for managing a growing team while maintaining high-quality standards. Whether you're a business owner looking to leverage video or a creative professional navigating the evolving digital landscape, this episode offers valuable insights on balancing innovation with personal touch.

Create & Elate
https://www.createandelate.com/
Get in touch with me for a referral to Create & Elate!

Mentioned in this Episode

The School of Greatness: https://lewishowes.com/sogpodcast/

The Alchemist: https://www.amazon.com/Alchemist-Paulo-Coelho-ebook/dp/B00U6SFUSS/

Diamond Cutter: https://www.amazon.com/Diamond-Cutter-Buddha-Managing-Business/dp/038552868X

In this episode of "Work Like a Mother," Marina Tolentino dives into the fast-evolving world of artificial intelligence and how it can transform your business. As a real estate agent and multi-passionate entrepreneur, Marina shares practical insights on how she integrates AI tools like ChatGPT, CastMagic, and Canva's Magic Studio into her daily workflow. She discusses the benefits, potential distractions, and the need to filter AI tools for maximum efficiency and impact. Whether you're curious about AI-generated content, short-form video automation, or creating custom graphics, this episode offers tactical advice on how to leverage AI effectively in 2024 and beyond.

In this episode of "Work Like a Mother," host Marina Tolentino sits down with Dr. Kristen Coles, a naturopathic doctor and acupuncturist, to explore holistic approaches to women's health. Dr. Coles discusses the importance of treating the whole person, addressing hormonal imbalances, and understanding the role of adrenal glands and cortisol in women’s well-being. She highlights the shortcomings of conventional medicine and offers practical strategies like fasting mimicking diets and establishing a supportive morning routine. With insights into perimenopause, menopause, and stress management, Dr. Coles provides listeners with actionable steps to reclaim their health and thrive at any stage of life through natural and integrative approaches.

Mentioned in this Episode

Pique: https://www.piquelife.com/products/bt-fountain

LMNT: https://drinklmnt.com/products/lmnt-recharge-electrolyte-drink?variant=29460998651938

Yoga Nidra: https://music.apple.com/us/album/yoga-nidra-1/147319382

Fasting Mimicking Diet lecture: https://youtu.be/QxSm_N2DqCA?si=TzmGjjhSTxah_f1F

ProLon: https://prolonlife.com/drcoles

Dr. Kristen Coles

http://www.drcoles.com/

This week Marina explores the transformative power of conducting a time audit. As someone who understands the constant juggle between work, family, and personal aspirations, Marina shares practical steps to help you reclaim your time and focus on what truly matters. Drawing from her own experiences, she guides you through the process of evaluating how you spend your days, identifying time-wasters, and setting intentional boundaries. This episode is a must-listen for any busy mom or entrepreneur looking to take control of their schedule and create a more balanced life.

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

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Replay Alert! 🎙️ I’m thrilled to share my recent guest appearance on Traci Peterson’s podcast, Woman Lessons. In this episode, we dive deep into embracing authenticity, the journey of self-discovery, and how these lessons have shaped my personal and professional life. It was an empowering conversation about the importance of staying true to yourself in every aspect of life. If you haven’t already, make sure to check out Traci’s podcast for more inspiring stories from incredible women. Let’s support each other in our journey to becoming our best selves!

Woman Lessons Podcast
"Woman Lessons is designed to leave you feeling empowered and we will explore ways that together as women, we can learn to look inward and upward for our validation- because that is where true confidence is found."

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/woman-lessons/id1752694591

Traci Peterson
https://tracipeterson.com/home/ https://www.instagram.com/Tpete

Marina Tolentino
https://www.marinatolentino.com/
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I had the honor of being a guest on The Daughter Dearest Podcast with Simone and Olivia Knego! I talked all about the power of authenticity and how it can help overcome challenges, build meaningful relationships, and reach goals. Save this one and share it with a girl friend who needs some inspiration.

About The Daughter Dearest Podcast

Dynamic mother-daughter duo, Simone and Olivia Knego focus on the secrets of lasting transformation and how to build bold confidence and unwavering resilience. From intimate conversations with inspiring guests to sharing their personal journeys of triumph and challenge, Simone and Olivia create a supportive space where every woman is encouraged to rise above her fears and love the woman in the mirror. It’s like catching up with old friends who inspire you to be bravely and uniquely you.

Simone Knego

https://simoneknego.com/

Listen on Daughter Dearest (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-daughter-dearest-podcast/id1667058474?i=1000663100564)

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/marinattolentino_) YouTube

https://www.youtube.com/@marinatolentino

Marina Tolentino dives into the transformative power of building a personal brand. Fresh from her insightful trip to Nashville, Marina shares her experiences with the Brand Builders Group and emphasizes the critical importance of developing a personal brand for entrepreneurs. She demystifies the concept, explaining that a personal brand goes beyond logos and colors—it's about the unique essence of who you are and what people think of you. Marina offers practical tips and personal anecdotes on how to enhance your brand, leveraging your unique traits and perspectives to stand out in a crowded marketplace. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to elevate their personal brand and create a lasting impact.

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

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YT: https://www.youtube.com/@marinatolentino

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In Episode 33 of the Work Like a Mother Podcast, listeners are in for a treat as Marina sits down with two savvy moms, Shana and Vanessa, who are experts in working within your financial situation to plan for the future without sacrificing quality. Dubbed the "Budget Besties," these resourceful ladies share their top tips, tricks, and strategies for managing family finances, finding the best deals, and making the most of a budget. From high-level financial planning to managing buckets for daily spending, this episode is packed with practical advice and inspirational stories that prove you don't need to fear managing your money. Tune in to discover how you can become a budget bestie, too!

Mentioned in this episode:

The Influential Personal Brand Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-influential-personal-brand-podcast/id1479643724

Procrastinate on Purpose: https://roryvaden.com/procrastinate-on-purpose/

Budget Besties

https://budgetbesties.com/

https://www.facebook.com/groups/financialcoachingforwomen

Financial Coaching for Women Podcast

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/marinattolentino_

YT: https://www.youtube.com/@marinatolentino

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Feeling stuck in a rut? Join me on this episode of the Work Like A Mother Podcast as I share practical steps to regain your momentum and get back on track. From deep cleaning and organizing your home to healthy eating, goal setting, and the power of mentorship, I'll walk you through tried-and-true methods that helped me navigate a recent slump. Discover how visualization, meditation, and fitness can rejuvenate your body and mind. Tune in for actionable tips to boost your productivity and energy. Don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with friends!

What You’ll Learn:

Deep cleaning and organizing for mental clarity

Revamping your diet by decluttering your pantry and fridge

Setting clear goals and how to achieve them

Seeking mentorship for growth

Reigniting your fitness routine

Utilizing visualization and meditation for focus

Mentioned in this episode:

‎Earn Your Happy: Brendon Burchard | The Missing Piece Of Networking That Will 10x Your Income (Live Q&A) on Apple Podcasts

How Tony Robbins Builds Energy

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

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In this episode of "Work Like A Mother," host Marina welcomes Lisa Mont-Ros, a powerhouse entrepreneur and mom of five, to discuss the delicate balance of managing a successful business and a bustling blended family. Lisa shares her journey from selling real estate to becoming a sought-after business consultant, fitness coach, and mastermind leader. Discover how Lisa overcame the challenges of entrepreneurship while raising a family and learn her strategies for creating time freedom and recurring revenue. Tune in to hear Lisa’s insights on habit stacking, the realities of working for yourself, and the importance of clear expectations in managing a team. Whether you’re a mom looking for inspiration or an entrepreneur seeking practical advice, this episode is packed with valuable tips for creating a life you love.

Mentioned in this episode:

Mind Pump Podcast

Lisa Mont-Ros

IG: @lisamontros

IG: @stepupmethod

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

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Transcript:

Lisa [00:00:00]:

You work a lot, right? Because you love what you do, and there's also always work to be done. And so I got very, very unhealthy, very out of shape.

Marina [00:00:08]:

When you're in the middle of it and you think you're doing fine, you don't even have the mental capacity to think about yourself or what you're putting in your face. It's just food, fuel. It must all be the same.

Lisa [00:00:17]:

But what I learned through that process is that I never want to work for someone again. Like, I will hands down work 18 hours a day as long as nobody else runs my schedule. So, yes, working for yourself is significantly harder than showing up to work and collecting a paycheck. It is so worth it.

Marina [00:00:32]:

He's like my little shadow. So he's with me through business conversations, and he's hearing me on the phone, negotiate deals, and, like, that's priceless.

Lisa [00:00:38]:

You know, if they said they're gonna do it, and then they're not, just figure out what's in the way, because there's something like they're either scared to get on the phone, they don't know scripts, and then you can coach to whatever is in the way. The norm is actually, you put in the work, and then you get the success.

Marina [00:00:55]:

All right. Today, I have someone super new and super fresh that I think is gonna be great to introduce to all of you because she's got so much experience in her background pocket. So welcoming. Lisa Montrose. She's from Arizona, I believe, which is super nice. But this woman comes with a pocket full of motherhood experience, business creation, selling a business marriage with in business together, and then, honestly, health and fitness. Like, you are super fit. So I'm excited to ask all those questions, too, about how to do it all, but you're doing it.

Marina [00:01:26]:

So your Instagram profile reads, helping businesses create time, freedom, and recurring revenue. And you're a business consultant, helping people with their course and membership creation. So welcome to the show, Lisa.

Lisa [00:01:36]:

Thank you so much. Like, I forget I do all of those things until you mention it, and I'm like, oh, yeah, I do do all of that.

Marina [00:01:42]:

Exactly. So how old are your kids now?

Lisa [00:01:46]:

So I have five. We are a blended family, so we're his, hers, and ours. I have 22 2018, and then the ours are ten and eight.

Marina [00:01:54]:

Oh, my gosh, you are. Yeah, that's a lot like.

Lisa [00:01:59]:

No, we have 810 and 18 are still living at home. My 18 year old keeps promising me she's going to move out, but she's still here, so it's coming. It's coming.

Marina [00:02:09]:

And I feel like this is good context, too, because a lot of my friends, we're still in, like, that middle school and younger age, so we don't have any advice from someone who is in the high school and older. So that could be good to get into, too, today. But needless to say, I'm sure you have a packed schedule and you find a way to do it all. How do you do all the time stuff? Do you time block? Like, what's your system?

Lisa [00:02:29]:

So I'm not a huge fan of time blocking, and I've taken 175 coaching courses, and everyone says to time block, and for some reason, my brain, as soon as there's something like time blocks on my schedule, I get super resistant. So I'm like, it just doesn't work. And it's an amazing tool. I'm very routine. So you talk about the health and fitness. Like, my morning routine does not vary. Like, whether I'm at home, whether I'm on vacation, like, we're going on an alaskan cruise in a couple of weeks, and I already know my routine will stay the same. And so pretty much from 05:00 a.m.

Lisa [00:03:00]:

until about 09:00 a.m. nothing changes. In my world, every morning is the same, but I don't have to think about it. And so that's how I get a lot of it done is because it's just. It's just what I do. I don't have to think about it. I remember looking like years and years ago. Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg.

Lisa [00:03:18]:

I think both of them wear black all the time. Right. And I do, too, but for different reasons. But it sort of has panned into the same reason. Like, I literally don't know how to dress myself. Like, I have no idea how to wear color, and, like, I don't know what to do. So I'm like, a black halter top tank sounds great. And in the winter, a black long sleeve t shirt.

Lisa [00:03:35]:

It just works. But they wore black because they didn't want to have to make decisions. So it was just like, there wasn't that decision so that they could focus on other things. And I think that's how my routine has gotten us to where we are. And my husband and I, fortunately, are so aligned that we're not battling each other for that. Like, we go to the gym together, we eat breakfast together, we get the kids ready together. So it's very much a team effort.

Marina [00:03:59]:

Yeah, I love that. Okay, so instead of a time blocking master you are a habit master. You have, like, habits stacked your whole morning, and then after that, you kind of just figure out what needs to be done. And I think that's so important. It's not just one thing you're doing. Like, you're probably doing 30 things in that habit stack, but it's just routine for you now. You don't have to think about it.

Lisa [00:04:16]:

Yeah.

Marina [00:04:17]:

Were you always, like, super into health and fitness or when did you get into it?

Lisa [00:04:21]:

So I was, when I was younger, and then I had a bunch of babies, and we also, when we were running a business, and I think you may relate to this as well. Like, and anybody on the. Anybody that's listening to this, that's an entrepreneur, you start. You work a lot, right? Because you love what you do, and there's also always work to be done. And so really, in the midst of having the babies and then also running our business, I got very, very unhealthy, very out of shape, very everything. And the funny thing, my husband and I last night were looking at pictures, and I'm like, we didn't even know. Like, we, hands down, didn't even know. And I look at these pictures, and my face was, like, twice the size that it is now.

Lisa [00:05:01]:

And, you know, I mean, we ate McDonald's and we ate, you know, it was, like, fast, and we're like, oh, Burger King's down the street, and we would just grab it. So I was. I always thought I was into it, but now that I actually understand how much better I feel when I focus on that, I really am. Now, plus, in all fairness, my little ones are a little bit bigger, so they hit that stage right around age, like, five.

Marina [00:05:24]:

Okay.

Lisa [00:05:25]:

From my experience, right around age five, where your kids just don't need you to do everything for them or they don't need you to guide them for everything. And so that frees up a little bit of that time to focus on yourself. When you have little littles, it's just hard because you are responsible for so much for them, and they don't know.

Marina [00:05:43]:

What independence is yet. It's me, myself, and I.

Lisa [00:05:46]:

No, 100%. They're like, the world revolves around me. Like, why are you not paying attention to me?

Marina [00:05:51]:

Absolutely. Yeah. No, that's so good. And I think you mentioned that point about when you're in that, the middle of it and you think you're doing fine, it's. You don't even have the mental capacity to think about yourself or what you're putting in your face. It's just food, fuel, it must all be the same. So that's a good point. And we can talk about, like, what you eat and stuff later on, too.

Marina [00:06:08]:

I do want to hear, though, your entrepreneurial journey. Like, how did you get to where you are today? You're a coach now. What did it look like to get to here?

Lisa [00:06:16]:

So I actually would say I was an entrepreneur from a very young age, when I was, like, five. Do you remember? You might be too young. Do you remember Columbia records? Like, they used to send me packets in the mail and they had little stamps in it, and you could lick the stamps, put them back. You'd mail it back in and they'd send you ten cds or whatever it is.

Marina [00:06:34]:

It was like the original Netflix, sort of.

Lisa [00:06:37]:

Like, you get ten cds for $0.01 or whatever it was. But anyway, you get these in the mail all the time. Anyone? Like, I'm 46, right? So I sometimes forget. Like, I. I lived a different childhood than a lot of people, especially with kids that are kids my age, because I have young kids for being 46. But anyway, I would take those stamps and I would sell them to the neighbors, like, at age five, because I was like, if I can get fifty cents, I can buy a candy bar. So I'd walk down to the street to the neighbors and I'd sell them these little stamps for $0.05. They had no value.

Lisa [00:07:06]:

My mom, actually, when she found out I did it, made me take all the money back, and I was like, what? But they bought them. That's not my fault. So that really started when I was really young. Like, I just knew that if you wanted to make money, you just had to figure out a way to do it. Like, mo lawns. I mean, as kids. Kids, it was amazing. If you wanted to go buy an icy, you just go find a way to make $2 or whatever it is.

Lisa [00:07:31]:

But my adult entrepreneurial journey really started. I was selling real estate, and it was right when my husband and I got married and they found out I was pregnant with our now ten year old. And we always said we were super committed to family being the number one thing for us. And for anyone who has ever sold real estate, you understand that, like, it's a 24 hours a day job. And so I. And I sold at a high level. Like, I was incredibly high producer. I was building a team.

Lisa [00:07:59]:

I had five people on my team, and I was working around the clock. And so there was this, like, tug and pull inside of me where I was like, I keep saying my family is the most important thing. But I'm not living that way. And so, fortunately, he had. His job was amazing, and so I was able to become a true stay at home mom, and I made it two months. I was like, this is the hardest job I've ever done, and I've been working since I was five. Like, I got my first real job when I was 14. Stay at home moms have hands down, the hardest job.

Lisa [00:08:32]:

And so what? I ended up as a productivity coach for a real estate company and then doing transaction coordination work just as a side hustle. And that was really only intended to primarily keep me busy and to keep my mind working while I was a stay at home mom, because I really, really was committed to that because of the quality of work that we did. We ended up growing that transaction coordination company to a team of 30, and that's the company that ended up getting acquired. So I did it for a couple of years just as a side hustle. And then when we actually launched the company, it was April 20, 2016, and my youngest was born May 20, 2016. So we launched this company, and I'm the size of a house, and my husband is the person who could sell sand in the desert. Like, he could.

Marina [00:09:18]:

He.

Lisa [00:09:18]:

He could convince anybody to do it. So he did sales for our company. So here I am with this brand new baby, the only employee that's actually doing the work, and my husband's out selling it to everybody. So it was absolutely wild. But what I learned through that process is that I never want to work for someone again, ever. Like, I will hands down work 18 hours a day as long as nobody else runs my schedule. Like, I don't. I just don't want that.

Lisa [00:09:46]:

And I also know that you're capped when you work for someone else. So, yes, working for yourself is significantly harder than showing up to work and collecting a paycheck. It is so worth it. It is so worth it because I get to do stuff like this, and no one can tell me. I can't. I'm like, what time do you want me there? I'll be there because I run my own schedule.

Marina [00:10:09]:

Yeah. And that's so true. When you're in sales, there is no ceiling. Like, if you want to make $500,000 plus a year, go do it. If you want to make a hundred thousand, do less. That's it. Like, end of story, you know? And for me, like, we just started homeschooling my third grader, now fourth grader, in the spring, and I'm like, I don't want to go back. Like, now that I know what it looks like to do this, like, why would I ever go back? You know, it's a whole different level of freedom.

Marina [00:10:31]:

Whereas before, we were so chained to the school system and the schedules and, like, all the things, and I'm like, we can do whatever we want. If we want to play hooky and go to the zoo, let's go to the zoo.

Lisa [00:10:39]:

But that's educational.

Marina [00:10:41]:

Absolutely. Everything's educational.

Lisa [00:10:42]:

It's 100% educational. And if you ask me, like, I'm not sold on the whole school thing. Like, as our kids get older and they're going into college, I'm like, oh, you don't have to do that. Let's talk about what else is possible for you. I love the idea of homeschooling. Also, I mentioned I did not make a very good stay at home mom, so I don't feel like I would make a very good homeschool teacher either. You can convince me otherwise since you're doing it, but I think it's cool for the families that can do it because you can get your kids real life experience.

Marina [00:11:11]:

Exactly.

Lisa [00:11:12]:

We're not going to read a book about animals or watch a discovery show about it. We're going to go to the zoo and we're going to see them. That's so much more valuable.

Marina [00:11:19]:

I mean, honestly, just, he's like my little shadow. So he's with me through business conversations, and he's hearing me on the phone, negotiate deals, and, like, he can't. That's priceless. You know, it's. I'm so excited to see how it evolves over time. Okay, so now we're coaching. This is your primary business model. Who do you help? Like, who's the woman that calls you? What are they feeling with their situation?

Lisa [00:11:40]:

So I run a couple of different things. I'm actually in the process right now of deciding if I need to let something go, but I don't want to. It's really, really hard. I do fitness coaching, and the reason for. For that is because I know that when you physically feel better, the rest of your life feels better. So there's no other reason for it, except I just want people to know, and women especially, to know, that, like, just take care of your physical body. Everything else will feel better. It.

Lisa [00:12:06]:

I mean, it's just. Yeah, you can't deny it.

Marina [00:12:09]:

You gotta go. Yeah, yeah.

Lisa [00:12:11]:

So I do that, and then I also run a women's mastermind for female entrepreneurs and leaders, most of who are moms, but not all of them. And part of it marnez similar to, like, why you do what you do is because I wanted to create a space where we as women could come in and talk about our experiences as entrepreneurs and be vulnerable. Because I think so often, as, especially as leaders and entrepreneurs and as women, we feel like we have to put forward that face that, like, everything's amazing. I'm doing so great. Life is wonderful. And it's not always. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes it's like you have, you know, like, I have a sign on my door right now that my kids can't bug me.

Lisa [00:12:51]:

I don't like that. Yeah, but I mean, but it's part of, part of the world. And people who don't do this don't understand. So I run that mastermind for that. That reason is just to create that space where people can come and just be authentically them. And it's okay if you're having a hard day, your social media doesn't have to show it, but, like, you can come here and show it. And then our primary business is consulting and coaching for businesses. And we work a lot with service based businesses.

Lisa [00:13:18]:

And our goal with that, because with our transaction coordination company, when you run a service based business, in order to make more money or to grow, you have to, you can do two things. One, you can do more. And you know this, like, you're nodding your head because this is what you did, too. You can do more, and which means you work more, or you can hire a team to help you do more. And that brings a whole different realm of skill set and what you have to do and different challenges. And so our goal is really to help service based businesses streamline their business so they don't have to trade time for money, so that they can, they can scale without having to physically do more or take on more responsibility. And so that's really what we focus on now, because we went, we did it the other way.

Marina [00:14:03]:

Yeah.

Lisa [00:14:03]:

And it was really, really hard.

Marina [00:14:06]:

Yeah. Oh, yeah. When you're working around the clock, because everyone needs you and you haven't built, like, any barriers there, it can feel super overwhelming. Hey, ladies, real quick, if you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're spiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers. I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm, mostly.

Marina [00:14:45]:

And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantic leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you. So if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com, and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level. Let's dive back in. So I would love to talk about that, because I think people don't say when you hire a team, it actually means more work, but there is a way to do it where you can do less work there. What is the skillset needed? So it's managing people.

Marina [00:15:21]:

How do you teach someone how to manage people if they'd never done that before?

Lisa [00:15:26]:

Where people run into problems? And this is any relationship, this is not exclusive to a manager employee type of relationship, but it's expectations. So it's being very, very clear. So what a lot of people do is they hire a team, and they're like, okay, here's the five things I need to get done. Go figure it out. And then, especially if you've been a solopreneur, your way is the right way. And then when they go and do it, you're like, oh, I might as well have just done it myself because they're not going to do it. Right. So the biggest thing to do, especially with that first hire as you're managing people, is to set those expectations and be super clear.

Lisa [00:16:03]:

Like, here's exactly what this job needs to look like. And if there's freedom for them to do it certain ways, be open to that freedom and then be okay with how they do it.

Marina [00:16:12]:

Yes.

Lisa [00:16:12]:

And so it's expectations.

Marina [00:16:16]:

Yeah. Oh, that's so good. And now that you're saying that, it's making me reflect. So when I started my real estate career, I joined a team, and then I had the quick success, and so he put me into a management position, and I didn't know how to manage people. Like, I've just been a solopreneur this whole time. And then there was a lot of, like, just not enough communication on the expectations. So then there was, like, resentment building up between people and then it just gets out of control until someone, like, ropes it in together. But then there has to be accountability with those expectations, too.

Marina [00:16:43]:

So that was sliding on some things. And so it's like, yeah, the expectations that we're here, but if we're not going to hold anyone to them, what's the point of the explanation? So you have to learn kind of how to discipline in the sense of like, what do we do when those expectations aren't met? You know, what is the repercussion of that? How do you teach people that part of it? Because I feel like that was so challenging for us.

Lisa [00:17:03]:

I feel like that's the easy part. And I'm going to tell you why is that? When you set those expectations in the standards, like, if you and I were working together and I was like, hey, here's the expectations we have. Here's the standards we have. Do you agree? And you would say yes because you want to continue working together, say yes. But then when they're not being met, it's an easy conversation because you already agreed to the standards and you agreed to those expectations. So it's like, hey, I noticed we're not hitting. We're not hitting these. Tell me what's going on, because, like, you agreed to it.

Lisa [00:17:34]:

So is there something else going on that's like getting in the way and that's an easier conversation than disciplining because it puts the ball back in their court.

Marina [00:17:40]:

Yeah.

Lisa [00:17:41]:

And oftentimes what you find is they have something external going on. Like if they initially agree that, yes, I absolutely want to do this, I'm going to live up to those expectations. Like in real estate, I'm going to make phone calls every day for 2 hours. Right. That's the hardest thing for people to do in real estate, is lead gen. If they said they're going to do it and then they're not, you have to figure out what's in the way because there's something like they're either scared to get on the phone, they don't know scripts, and then you can coach to whatever is in the way.

Marina [00:18:08]:

That's true. Yeah, that's a good point. Okay. And then you're doing the mastermind and you're also doing one on one coaching.

Lisa [00:18:16]:

So two separate some one on one. The one on one is more for just the business consulting, not as much for one on one type of life coaching. I found out early on I'm not great at life coaching. Like, I tried to do it, but then, like, because I'm the type of person where I. If someone tells me to do something, if I'm working with a coach and they tell me to do something, like work, do this exercise, I'm just gonna do it, and then I'm not gonna complain about that thing again. Or if I'm not willing to do it, I'm not gonna complain about it again because it's like, I didn't do the work, so I can't keep complaining about this area of my life. Most people don't function that way like they liked. Most people actually really, really like to make up excuses, and I just.

Lisa [00:18:56]:

I had a hard time with that, so I don't really do one on one coaching anymore.

Marina [00:18:59]:

Yeah, it's like, you're so disciplined that you're like, I don't need this anymore. Like, I love the transparency. You figured it out.

Lisa [00:19:06]:

You gotta be honest, right? I mean, that's. And it's not for everybody. There are some amazing life coaches out there who do a fantastic, wonderful, amazing job. I'm just not that person. So if that's what someone's looking for, I'm definitely like, ooh, let me refer you to somebody.

Marina [00:19:20]:

But that's great, because, you know your lane and you. You rule and Rock Lane, and so what they come to you for is literally like, this is my business problem. How do I fix it? And then you come in, and you're like, the surgeon that makes it all work again. That's great. Okay, awesome. So you also talk about creating courses. So I know this is, like, it's been trending. I feel like since the pandemic, everyone and their mom is making courses.

Marina [00:19:41]:

Why is it still so relevant in 2024? What do you think?

Lisa [00:19:44]:

We live in such a digital age. Plus, I think why it's so relevant is it 100% doesn't matter if there's a million people already doing your specialty? Each person is unique, and that's really what we focus on when we help people create courses and memberships is, like, what makes you unique? Because there's an audience of people that are going to resonate with you that don't resonate with the 15 other people that they're following on social media or whatever it is. So if you can identify what makes you unique, you can create impact in these people's lives because they're already relating to your story, and you can also make money while doing it. So I just. We live in such a digital age that if there's people who are not yet taking advantage of this and they've had any level of experience in their lives, I think they're missing out because it is going to get saturated. I don't believe it is yet, though.

Marina [00:20:37]:

I agree. Yeah. I think everyone, and it doesn't matter what industry you're in, you have something to teach because you are a professional. You're doing the work with the day to day with your clients. So then you can teach the next professional or teach the client in whatever capacity that you want. I think immediately, though, the thing that pops up in people's heads is that just one more thing I got to do, and it's going to take me hours and months to create this whole curriculum. Like, it's just too. I'm too busy.

Marina [00:20:59]:

I'm already overwhelmed. How the heck am I supposed to do that? What do you say to that person?

Lisa [00:21:03]:

It's a lot easier than you think. The overwhelm comes in because people don't know what to do. It's this idea of, like, I have to create this course. I have no idea what to do. And so that's why we stepped in. And, like, I'm not here to pitch a program by any means, but, like, I love what we do because we do it so differently. We literally take people from, hey, I have an idea, or I want to start a course, but I'm not even sure what I want to do. Like, people that are like that, we dive into their story all the way through, helping them build out their landing page, helping them build out their membership or their course, and make sure that the platform is completely set up.

Lisa [00:21:37]:

So when they finish our program, we've walked them through every single step of the way, held their hands every single step of the way, and then at the end of it, they literally have something they can sell. Yeah, it's like, here it is. And they have the copy because we did all of the exercises on their story and how to market it and everything. And so I think. And we. It's an hour a week. Like, the most it takes is two. Most it takes is two to three, depending on how much time people take on homework.

Marina [00:22:05]:

Yeah.

Lisa [00:22:05]:

So it's really not that much. And then the cool part is once it's done, it's done.

Marina [00:22:09]:

It's evergreen. Yeah.

Lisa [00:22:11]:

And then you're. Then you're done.

Marina [00:22:14]:

That's so good. And I think, honestly, if you've never created a course, you do need help your first time, because you're not going to know what you don't know. And there's just so many elements to it, like creating your funnel and then your ad, all of it, all of these things. And it's like, I've had to take so much classes and courses about each little thing, and then even that, it changes over time. So what we're last year might not work this year. So you want someone who's in the space doing it with multiple people, not just like some book that you read, like three years ago or whatever. What's a realistic timeline for someone that's like, okay, I understand, I should do this. Let me take the plunge.

Marina [00:22:45]:

When would they get their course actually live and published?

Lisa [00:22:49]:

We recommend, especially for people who are, if you're not working and this is the only thing you're going to do, you could get it done in a month. But that's not anybody that we work with. Like, that's no one that we work with. Everyone we work with is usually an entrepreneur already. And so it takes about six months, and that's so that it doesn't get overwhelming and so that you can continue living your life as you're living it and just adding this small element.

Marina [00:23:14]:

Yeah. But again, if you think, okay, I'm going to make this commitment, I'm going to work hard for six months. Just a little supplemental here and there, baby steps to get something on the other side. Like, what's a good expectation on the ROI when you start to create a course? Like, do you have initial goals that people set? Like, what is that?

Lisa [00:23:31]:

It sort of depends on what their audience already looks like. The way we teach it is before pouring money into ads is go organic, and there's different methodologies to use your own audience. Use other people's audiences, you know, I mean, key is to tap into other people's audiences because there's a few people that we've worked with that have Instagram followers of 100,000 or more, but that's not the norm.

Marina [00:23:52]:

Yeah.

Lisa [00:23:53]:

So they don't really have their own audience yet, and so it's really tapping into other people's audiences. So a lot of it just depends. We've had some people launch and they got 20 founding members. We've had some people launch and they get three. But then they.

Marina [00:24:06]:

What?

Lisa [00:24:06]:

The great thing about some of it is, is they get to start to test things and then you can start to pour money into ads.

Marina [00:24:12]:

Yep.

Lisa [00:24:13]:

But we don't recommend pouring money into ads. Like, right off the get go. Just because you do have a natural audience you can tap into. Mm hmm.

Marina [00:24:21]:

Yeah, absolutely. That's so good. Now, I think. And it's something people just got to look big picture at your business, like, what's working, what's not working. What do you like about your business? What do you not like? For me, I like actually seeing the conversion happen of someone where they used to be and where they're going to go. So, like, in between that progress is really where I enjoy it. I don't just like hearing people's wins all the time and, like, doing transactional things. I want to see the work.

Marina [00:24:44]:

Um, and so if that's you and your business, too, whether you're service based or whatever, like, find your sweet spot and then just spend a little extra time diving into how you can help your person even better. And that's your course. That's your first product.

Lisa [00:24:55]:

Um, well, and some of it, it doesn't even have to. This is so many cool stories about things that people are building. I more, like, I feel bad charging for what we do because I get more inspired by everyone we help. But we have a gentleman in our course who's. He's a finger amputee, and his. And he's building an entire course in membership on helping other finger amputees right out the get go of how to get through the post traumatic stress disorder that they go through, how to get back to being whole. And when I hear him talk, like, I didn't even know there was a market for that. But there's 60,000 people a year, right? Like, I had no idea.

Lisa [00:25:34]:

I didn't even know that existed. And I also didn't know there's, like, tens in the tens of Facebook groups for these people where they're. They're already talking on these Facebook groups about, like, is it normal that I wake up, you know, wake up panicked that I lost another finger? And I'm like, oh, my gosh. I didn't know that was a thing. I've never lost a finger. How cool that he's creating this for this very particular audience. And 60,000 people a year is a real audience.

Marina [00:25:59]:

Oh, yeah. You only need ten a year, honestly, to have a great business.

Lisa [00:26:04]:

Right? So it's just, I'm so inspired every day by what our students are creating, and more. Even more than, like, I sit on these calls and, like, they probably get sick of me because at the end of every call, I'm like, you guys are so amazing.

Marina [00:26:18]:

No, that is true. That is so inspiring, because you hear what people's passions are and everyone has a different perspective. And that goes back to the niche, too. Like, you almost can't be niche enough. Like, just be you. That's the biggest thing because everyone has a different story and a different, like, we serve the person we used to be. Right? So we look back, where did we come from? So. That's so true.

Marina [00:26:38]:

Um, I want to kind of dive into you working with your husband. So you guys do business together? You've always done business together when that started?

Lisa [00:26:44]:

When started with our company in 2016.

Marina [00:26:48]:

Okay.

Lisa [00:26:48]:

Um, yeah.

Marina [00:26:50]:

What advice do you have? Because I also work with my husband and we've had, like, a previous business experience, the one that we sold. And then now we're going into a new phase, starting our nonprofit together. Like, what advice?

Lisa [00:27:00]:

Well, so you and I have parallel stories because we worked together on the business we sold, and now we're finding a new groove with our new business and how we do it together. No, honestly. So we started it and our little guy was probably six months old, so our business was seven months old. Like, it was the same, the same age as him. And we were like, okay, we're going to go out to dinner and we're not going to talk about the kids, which, first of all, any married couple, like, I challenge you to, that it's almost impossible, but we're not going to talk about the kids and we're not going to talk about the business. And I'm not kidding. We sat at that dinner for 45 minutes and had nothing to say. And I go, we have to fix this, because if our life, if our marriage has become our kids and our business, we're never going to make it through.

Lisa [00:27:43]:

And so two things that we did. Number one, we made sure that we committed time to us like Alex and Lisa. Not business owners, not mom and dad, but like Alex and Lisa. This is us. And I'm. We've been married for eleven years. And I can honestly say I'm probably more in love with him now than I was the day that we got married. Like, which there were.

Lisa [00:28:03]:

I mean, he's probably going to see this, so he's going to know. But there were probably some times that we did not love each other very much because it's hard, like running a business. But the other thing, I go back to the expectations and standards. We really clearly defined our lanes in our first business where this is what he does and this is what I do. And we did not overlap. And so there what we could both do everything, but we just defined our lanes of what we were going to do, and we're in the process of doing that again. The challenge with what we're doing now is we're both so good at all of it. Like, we both love doing all of it that we're like, oh, I don't want to give that up.

Lisa [00:28:42]:

I don't want you to do that. I want to do that. And we're fighting over who gets to do what.

Marina [00:28:46]:

What an amazing opportunity, though, to, like, have both of you guys so gung ho about everything that you're fighting over doing it all. That's so funny. And then with date nights, are you guys, like, scheduling that in advance or, like, how do you make that happen? Because I feel like it's so easy to just back burner, oh, we're busy again or whatever.

Lisa [00:29:02]:

Um, well, we do the gym together every morning. I think that's super helpful. Like, that's definitely, like, I mean, I know we're working out, but at least it's something together, so we definitely do that. We don't really schedule date nights. We just make sure that we do it. And then we oftentimes, like, the kids will go to bed and we live in Arizona, so it's the surface of the sun. So it's not until the sun goes down right now, because, I mean, I'm looking at 110 degrees right now. So the sun goes down and it gets down to 95.

Lisa [00:29:26]:

So the kids will go to bed and then we'll just go sit out on the back patio and, like, enjoy 95 degrees instead of 110. And that's our chance to just talk. So we're pretty good about on a regular basis, making sure we have that time to just visit. And the date nights they just have, I mean, we're, we've gotten pretty good at making sure they happen without scheduling them.

Marina [00:29:46]:

Yeah, that's good. You just, like, have this intuition of, like, oh, it's been a while. Let's get one in.

Lisa [00:29:51]:

Yeah.

Marina [00:29:51]:

I think that's another key to having older kids. It's like you actually have time to think by yourself instead of someone always, like, following you around constantly and you're like, oh, my gosh, I just need a break. It does change over time. Like, I'm starting to get there. Like, starting to get there, but I'm excited for that season. And then, honestly, empty nester is the next phase. And I don't know how that's going to go, but it's like, if you haven't worked on your marriage this whole time and then you expect to know that person. You're in for a rude awakening, and that's what I don't want to happen.

Lisa [00:30:18]:

Right.

Marina [00:30:19]:

So it's so important. So, so good. Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt and I hope you're enjoying this episode of the work like a mother podcast. Real quick. I just want to remind you guys, if you are worried about missing an episode, you don't have to worry anymore because we are creating a weekly email that's going to go out automatically every single time there's a brand new episode. And this email is going to have everything you need to know about this week's featured guests. It's going to have all of the links and the resources that we're going to talk about in this episode. So you don't have to go around and fumble through the show notes.

Marina [00:30:49]:

But it's me served in your inbox every single week. So if you guys want that access, be sure to click below one time in the show notes today. Sign up for that email and then you'll never have to worry about it in the future. And bonus, if you really love this, we'd love it if you share this with a friend. Give us a review on whatever platform you're listening to, and we'll continue to bring new episodes and new information that's going to help you level up your life every single week. Okay, so do you guys have an assistant?

Lisa [00:31:15]:

We have. We are trying this time around as we're building a new business and we're two years in, so it's not really new anymore. But we are trying to have as few hires as possible. Okay. Because that management piece is takes up. It's a full time job. So we're trying to have as few hires. So we have a va team in Pakistan.

Lisa [00:31:34]:

Actually, that so far has been beyond amazing. They're very tech knowledgeable. So when it comes to like, all of the funnel building websites and all of the community building websites, they know it. And so we can throw a lot of stuff over the fence that we don't have to train them on, which is amazing. So that's all we have right now. And we're trying to stay away from hiring anyone. We're not going to be able to do that forever, hiring a team.

Marina [00:32:01]:

So you're doing it. But wait, now I have so many questions. So I hear a lot about filipino assistance, like in the Philippines, but I haven't heard about Pakistan or like the Middle east. So how do you find these people? How do you.

Lisa [00:32:12]:

My husband does it. I have no idea how he found them. But when he came to me and he's like, here's everything they can do. And I was like, hire them now.

Marina [00:32:18]:

Yeah.

Lisa [00:32:19]:

And we've been, they've been, we've been with them for almost seven months and we've referred them to so many people because we have been beyond pleased with the quality. And even when it comes to, like, design, like, we have marketing pieces and we'll send it to them and it's, they'll at least take a stab at it and they know our branding and so there's kind of a few revisions, but it has taken a lot off of our plate.

Marina [00:32:41]:

Wow. Incredible. Because I think so often we again put up this limiting belief that, well, they're going to scam us or I can't trust them, or like, they're going to steal my business and my bank account information and all this stuff. There are ways to set this up so that it serves you and literally for the task that you don't want to deal with. It doesn't have to be this whole position. It's just like hourly, you know?

Lisa [00:33:01]:

Yeah.

Marina [00:33:01]:

That's amazing. Wow.

Lisa [00:33:03]:

It's so good.

Marina [00:33:04]:

It's also proof that it exists and.

Lisa [00:33:05]:

It'S really, it does, I mean, it does exist. And we've been super happy. We've referred them to a handful of people and they've all been happy.

Marina [00:33:12]:

So, no, I'm going to have to get that from you because we are in the process of. So Rose, the one that you've been communicating with, she's our EA, our primary assistant, but then now she's been doing so much on the marketing side because of the podcast collateral that I'm like, this is almost a whole new position. Like, it's distracting you from what your sweet spot is. Do we need a marketing assistant position? And I think we just need the team to do it.

Lisa [00:33:33]:

And like, I will email you, you let me know how you want the info, I'll send it to you and you can interview them and see what you think.

Marina [00:33:39]:

Yeah, absolutely. I'm always just curious to see what's out there too. So that's super cool. Um, okay. And then about creating, creating community. So you've created a fitness community, you've created your entrepreneur community. I would love to create a community, but I honestly don't even know where to start other than like creating the Facebook page. And then what, like, how do you, are you driving people to the community and then fostering people once they're in there?

Lisa [00:34:01]:

So a lot of it is, I mean, it's getting them in there, but a lot of it is showing people that you care about them. So a lot of social media is not, not going on social media posting and then walking away. It's showing people that you care about their lives. Because social media to me, can be, I'm going to make sure I phrase this properly to not make anybody mad, but it can be very narcissistic, especially for those of us that are promoting businesses. Right. We're like, look at me, look at me, look at me. But if all you're doing all day is saying, look at me, and you walk away, what draws somebody to you? Like, they want to know that you care about them. So it's caring about what people talk about on social media and really caring.

Lisa [00:34:40]:

Like, you can't fake it. But I think part of it is that and actually just engaging with them, you have an opportunity to engage in person. That's amazing. Of course, we, I have a friend here in Arizona who is the guru at building community. And so I've been very fortunate to tap into her community as well. And I love all of them. Cool. So that, that's been great.

Lisa [00:35:01]:

So in person, I get to do a lot with her and her community. But I think it's getting them into your world and then once they are in your world, is continuing to provide value for them. But it really starts with, before they're even in your world, they have to know that you care.

Marina [00:35:15]:

Yeah, no, absolutely. And I think, yeah, just being like a sponge online, not just scroll, but like actually read the comments and be like, what is this woman's problem and how can I solve it for her? That's super good. It's just intention. How long would you say that it takes to build a community? Like, what is some realistic expectations, do you think?

Lisa [00:35:35]:

Two plus years.

Marina [00:35:36]:

Okay, see, so it's like delayed ratification. You're just continuing on, trucking, on, building that habit. It's not going to be instant. And I think so many of us, we just the towel because we're like, I don't see any movement. Why would I keep going? I mean, I'm kind of in this, like, plateau. I feel like with the podcast where it was like great on the launch for six months in and now we're just kind of like steady. So I want to get that, like high on another growth phase again. But right now it's just like, you know what? We're just going to stick it out.

Marina [00:36:01]:

And I've had women tell me it's taken them five years to get it going.

Lisa [00:36:04]:

It's ten years.

Marina [00:36:05]:

And I'm like, you win for a decade without feeling like it really took off. But it's because they were doing it to help the greater good. They had that motivation to just help the one. I'm like, okay, that's where I'm at, too. Like, I can do this, but it's going to take time. And just that consistency. Absolutely.

Lisa [00:36:21]:

And I think that's the challenge as an entrepreneur, too, is we see overnight success. Everybody has overnight success. They really don't like it is grinding. I mean, and I'm not big on the grind and hustle culture. Like, I don't. I don't believe that is what we have to do. But there is an extra amount of work you have to put in for a number of years. Hands down.

Lisa [00:36:41]:

You have some people who strike it. Like the hawk tua girl. I don't know if you've seen this, but my husband has seen her all over TikTok and she like, it's. It. I don't do TikTok, but my husband does. And he's like, check this girl out. She has like 107,000 followers because of some silly comment she made on something that's not the norm.

Marina [00:37:00]:

Right?

Lisa [00:37:00]:

Like, this girl now could start selling stuff and she would have people who would buy from her just because she grew so fast. The norm is actually you put in the work and then you get the success. And, like, we follow Alex Formosi quite a bit, who I. Absolutely. And you mentioned Ed Milet earlier. And, like, those are all our people, too, which is why, like, I know you and I would definitely get along because those are all our people. But it's the years that you have to put into it and the massive, like, things are really good, things are really bad, things are really good, things are really bad, things are just okay. And I think the hardest time is really when things are just okay because you're like, is this it? Is this what I did everything for?

Marina [00:37:36]:

Yep. And we lose that motivation. So, I mean, that is the big differentiator between people who are successful and who are not. It's the ones who stick it out. It's consistency. Same thing with your fitness. You're not going to look if you just do it once a month. You got to do it three times a week, four times a week, whatever.

Marina [00:37:51]:

That's so good. And I wish just more people got that and had patience and also appreciation for where you are in the journey.

Lisa [00:37:57]:

Because I think, oh, my gosh. Yes.

Marina [00:38:00]:

The happiness doesn't come from achieving the goal. The happiness comes from doing the goal, like, the progress. And so when we look at how far we've come, even just yesterday to today or last week to today, you probably made some leaps and bounds in your business. You just don't actually stop and look back. So, so good. So I do want to hear your fitness routine, in a sense. You said every morning you do the same thing. Are you eating the same thing every week, too? Or, like, what is your overall, like, snapshot, if you could?

Lisa [00:38:26]:

So for the most part, I, there's two things. Like, I dieted since I was little. My mom always dieted, so I always dieted. We really do follow our parents, and so we're really cognizant with our kids of what we do and how we talk about food and fitness because I want them to grow up in a very healthy culture with that. But I've tried everything. The two things that make the biggest difference are strength training and protein. And if you can nail those two things, it really does. Everything else just works.

Lisa [00:38:57]:

So I eat around 140 grams of protein a day. That's the biggest thing I focus on. I do my best to minimize sugars. I am also the person, though, that can sit down and eat an entire package of oreos. So I, and I wish I was kidding. I'm not.

Marina [00:39:12]:

Full transparency.

Lisa [00:39:14]:

Like one sitting, no problem. Full package. I will not feel well for hours afterwards, but I'll do it.

Marina [00:39:19]:

Yeah.

Lisa [00:39:20]:

Yeah. But my, if I, if I focus on the protein and I get it. So I eat the same thing, almost the exact same thing every day up until about noon. My mornings, if you can't tell, like, my mornings are so clockwork.

Marina [00:39:30]:

Yeah.

Lisa [00:39:30]:

Because I don't know what's going to happen the rest of the day. So I hit about 70 grams of protein by lunchtime, and then I know I'm good for the rest of the day, so I don't really track anymore. Yeah, but, like, but I just hit that in the morning and then the rest of the day. And I don't worry so much about fats and carbs and calories. I don't worry about all that. I just hit my protein and then I do. I lift six mornings a week. I hate cardio.

Lisa [00:39:51]:

I used to run marathons, and now, like, running around the block, I would rather poke my eye out. So I hate it. Like, there's, I don't want to sweat. Like, I just, I don't know. I.

Marina [00:40:04]:

There is a lot of people think you have to go to the gym and get drenched, that's. That's like old nineties thinking that you have to cardio it out, stairmaster it out. Like, no, no, no, no. So I think for the woman who doesn't get this yet, they're not doing it. Kind of break it down. What is your, like, what are you doing in the gym for? And have. For how long? A day?

Lisa [00:40:20]:

So for three days a week, I do three full body workouts. It's an hour long, hits all of the major muscle groups, and also focuses on, like, some of the smaller ones. And then three days a week, I do. Shorter workouts are, like, ten to 20 minutes, and then I do. In all fairness, I hate cardio, but I do, like, a ten minute hit workout. That's about all I can stomach. I'll do intervals for, like, ten minutes, and then I'm like, gotta get out of here. Yeah, but I do a full body workout three days a week that hits all of the major muscle groups, and I don't focus as much on living lifting heavy.

Lisa [00:40:51]:

I focus on form and just really being intentional about that. And it's been. It takes time. I mean, I've been doing this consistently for, like, 18 months, and, I mean, I still. My legs don't look like I want them to yet, but it's just. It takes time and time and time, and that's it. And it's. But it's good.

Lisa [00:41:10]:

I feel better than. I feel better at 46 than I did at 26, and I look better. Like, physically, you look amazing. So it's like, thank you. But, like, I just. I. It's just different. But, yeah, it's just three full body workouts.

Marina [00:41:24]:

Okay. So for the woman who's like, I have to be on the stairmaster. And, like, no, no, no, no. And when we're lifting weights, it's actually a really good mental exercise, too, because all you can think about is lifting weights. You don't have time to think about and worry about all the what ifs or all the things you have to do. You have to count reps. Like, we're focused, honey. Like, you know, you're like.

Marina [00:41:43]:

And I think that was really good for me because I would come out of the gym and I'll just be like, okay, that was my time. Like, now I can the next thing. But, like, when I enter this door, I am on workout mode. Everything else is an abstraction. We're not checking emails. We're not responding to texts. We are focused on our body and, like, think form. You have to think about how everything feels.

Marina [00:42:02]:

You're checking the mirror. Like, it's just. It's a practice of presence, and more women need to understand that.

Lisa [00:42:08]:

It's so good. So, like this. I think we're over time. I'm so sorry. But, like, this morning, my husband and I got to the gym and we sat in the car, and I was like, I don't want to do this today. Like, I would so much rather, like, drive to Walmart and go walk through the aisles. Like, I don't want to be here. And he's like, I know.

Lisa [00:42:24]:

I'm like, we're going to go do it anyway. And so I walked in, like, just heavy, right? So I was like, I don't want to do this. An hour later, I walked out and had a spring in my step. And I was like, okay, what are we going to accomplish today? It's like, it's a natural antidepressant. It's amazing.

Marina [00:42:39]:

Yes. And people call us crazy because we're so optimistic and whatever, but it's because of the things we're doing. It's not like we just naturally with this sunny, everything's like, rose colored and we're ready to tackle the world. It's like sometimes we have to force our freaking selves to do it right. No one jumps out of bed and is like, let's work out this morning. It's that discipline and consistency over and over and over again. So good. Well, every episode I wrap this up with a fun rapid fire.

Marina [00:43:04]:

So I'd love to ask you a couple of questions, but what is your Starbucks order? If you go to Starbucks?

Lisa [00:43:09]:

Um, I'm super boring. It's just a black Americano. That's it. Like blonde roast? It's a blonde roast, but I'm super boring.

Marina [00:43:19]:

You like it hot or iced?

Lisa [00:43:20]:

Hot. Always hot. Even when it's 110 outside hot.

Marina [00:43:24]:

I don't know if I could do that, but good for you. Okay. What do you make for dinner? If it's last minute and you're in a bind?

Lisa [00:43:30]:

Tacos.

Marina [00:43:31]:

Okay. You just always have things ready to go in your fridge.

Lisa [00:43:34]:

Easy. Tacos are easy.

Marina [00:43:35]:

And those are Arizona. That's like, part of Texas. Makes sense. Okay, what's your favorite? Go to department of target. And do you have a favorite designer?

Lisa [00:43:44]:

I do not have a favorite designer. My favorite. Go to department at target. I don't have one.

Marina [00:43:51]:

Okay. There's no, like, place. You're like, oh, I got to check this out every time.

Lisa [00:43:55]:

Maybe the. Is it the magnolia home section? That would probably be the one thing that I always have to eye.

Marina [00:44:01]:

Yeah. Just, like, tabs on trends.

Lisa [00:44:03]:

Just. Just to see. Just to see.

Marina [00:44:06]:

Yep. Same name. A book or a podcast you'd recommend to the audience and why.

Lisa [00:44:12]:

My favorite podcast is actually mind pump. It's about working out. Do you listen to them?

Marina [00:44:17]:

Yeah. Yeah.

Lisa [00:44:18]:

Okay. I love them. They spend an hour talking about random life stuff and an hour talking about workout stuff, but they're incredibly entertaining. So that's what I do when I'm at the gym, as I listen to them talk about working out while I'm working out.

Marina [00:44:30]:

Yeah. Love that. Another habit stack right there. That's good. And then you said, TikTok or Instagram? You don't do TikTok. Instagram is the one.

Lisa [00:44:36]:

Instagram.

Marina [00:44:37]:

What is your handle for everybody at Lisa Montrose?

Lisa [00:44:40]:

No dash.

Marina [00:44:41]:

Awesome. And we'll add that in the show notes, too, so it's easy to click.

Lisa [00:44:43]:

Thank you.

Marina [00:44:44]:

And then where do people find you online right now? Like, where's the most place you want to drive them to? What do you want them to do from this?

Lisa [00:44:49]:

Call Instagram. And then if you have any questions about anything that I talked about, just dm me. I do not have a Va team that answers all my DM's. I do everything on my own, so I think that would be the best place.

Marina [00:45:01]:

Yeah. I love it. Well, Lisa, you're so inspiring. It's so encouraging. Thank you for being you and just showing up fully every day. I feel like you really just attack life and you and your husband and our powerhouses. So we need more examples of this, I think, in everyday life, and you're doing it. So thank you, Madeir.

Lisa [00:45:16]:

Awesome. Thank you.

Marina [00:45:17]:

Yes. And we'll be in touch soon.

In this episode of Work Like A Mother, Marina dives deep into your first hire and why you need to invest in a professional admin even if they are coming from a different industry. Despite having no initial experience in real estate, guest Rose shares how her proactive mindset and transferable skills enabled her to thrive. She emphasizes that while industry-specific knowledge can be beneficial, the core competencies of an EA—such as adaptability, effective communication, and problem-solving—are what truly drive success. For real estate professionals and entrepreneurs overwhelmed by their never-ending to-do lists, this episode provides a roadmap to leveraging an EA's capabilities to transform chaos into clarity. Learn how delegating tasks to a skilled EA not only streamlines operations but also frees up valuable time for business growth and client engagement.

Mentioned in this episode:

Starbucks order: iced doppio espresso in a venti cup with extra soy

Welcome to Night Vale

Rose Mocerino

IG: @aloha_rose_

E: rose@marinatolentino.com

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

Newsletter: https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/worklikeamother

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Transcript:

Rose [00:00:00]:

You're investing in this EA right now. You're investing in learning how to become a better manager. You're investing all of this stuff. Think about what your days are like now. What are things that you don't think about anymore? Right? Like you said, paying the bills. The finance, like, your finance stuff is pretty much done, like tracking your analytics. We've, you know, been pretty good at any. Anything like that.

Rose [00:00:19]:

There's a lot of things that you think are very small, but anything that you just hand off to me, you stop thinking about, don't you?

Marina [00:00:25]:

At this point, it's so freeing. And that's the only way I'm able to do multiple businesses. There's no way I could keep it all in my brain. It just doesn't happen. I'm an expert multitasker, but at the end of the day, the balls get dropped, you know? So you've gotta have that extra lever to be like, hey, use this. Delegate. Delegate.

Rose [00:00:41]:

If you really want that quality candidate who's gonna care about your business, you have to pay them. Like, you care about your business and you care about them. That's just how it is, 100%.

Marina [00:00:49]:

And I think it goes back to, you get what you pay for at the end of the day. All right. Today I have someone super special who you guys don't even know is behind the scenes probably, but she is the one who is made this podcast so efficient and so successful. So I'm excited to bring on Rose today. Thanks for being here.

Rose [00:01:10]:

Hi. It's so funny being on this end of everything. I'm not used to, for sure.

Marina [00:01:15]:

Yeah. No, but it's great. Cause I think what the point of this podcast is really to give context behind why everyone needs a hire. At least one person to start with. And you've been that person for me over the last year. We made it a year already together, which is crazy. Time flies. And so I really just want to break down some of those myths and misconceptions and, like, especially the mindset of why it's so hard, hard to make your first hire.

Marina [00:01:36]:

But once you do, what potential that unlocks afterwards. So just to, like, kind of clear the plate, start us over, give us your context of who you are and kind of how you got to this role. Like, what's your past?

Rose [00:01:47]:

Yeah, so, um, I was born and raised in Silicon Valley, so grew up in the tech world. Both of my parents are engineers, so that's where I also started my career. My first job was, like, essentially front of house and facilities in a tech office. And I was there from when we were about 100 people. I think I was 123rd higher for that office specifically. And then I was there for the first office move in that first week. And then we grew it into a 400 to 500 person office amongst two buildings. It was crazy.

Rose [00:02:19]:

After that, I went on to become my first true EA role after that. And I supported the CEO office, the CTO, and the head of sales, which was a lot across many, many time zones, worked at all remotely. So from there I came to Hawaii and then tech, being volatile as a it is, got laid off. And then actually one of my co workers from that place told me about you and you were hiring and it just totally worked out. We were in the same place. It was the right time. Almost felt like divine timing.

Marina [00:02:46]:

So, yeah, for sure. And the fact that you're like, in the neighborhood that we lived in was so crazy.

Rose [00:02:52]:

Totally.

Marina [00:02:53]:

Like, I had hired a headhunter through LinkedIn. Whoops. And they went through like, gosh, I don't even know, over a thousand applications narrowed it down to 50, and then out of 50, I narrowed it down to 20 that I wanted to interview. And out of the 20, we made it to like five second interviews. And you were one of those people. And it was just the fact that you, like, knew Hawaii was super important, first of all, because a lot of people can't even pronunciate things correctly. So you did hula. You actually know more hawaiian than I do, I think, which is also like divine timing and everything.

Marina [00:03:23]:

But it was your background that really impressed me because previous to this, I think I was very used to thinking that I can just hire the cheapest person or hire the person that has the most time, which isn't necessarily good qualities to look for in a good professional EA. And so I think a lot of women especially will think, well, I can just hire my friend or I'll just hire my sister or whatever, thinking that we're helping everybody out, right? But in the end, it's going to kick you in the ass because you want someone that's almost more proficient than you are as the entrepreneur. Like, you are a excel ninja. You're a calendar whiz. Like, you're so good on the tech stuff that I'm like, just let it fly, girl. Like, you got this. So anything when it comes to booking, travel and whatever, like, you are so much faster and think of more things than I ever would. So I got to say that pays itself off a million times.

Marina [00:04:11]:

But if someone's like, never hired anyone yet, and they know that that's the thing holding them back in their business or their quality of life. You know, what advice do you have for someone that's in that position?

Rose [00:04:21]:

I think definitely looking for somebody who has pursued admin as a professional thing. It really is a big difference when you're supporting, like, higher level executives or if you're used to supporting a team, you just learn so many different things. So in my case, supporting those executives, like, really lend itself towards what you need, because I am used to these extremely busy calendars across so many different time zones because, you know, this one exec was sitting in California, one was sitting in London, one was sitting in New York. So, like, constantly, like, booking things across time zones is really not that much of a problem for me at this point. So if that's the kind of thing you need, you need to look for admin who are in those spaces. And more than that, too, if you are finding somebody who's been an admin for a long time, they're going to come with probably that customer support phase. A lot of us probably started in retail because we need to have those, be able to build that rapport amongst people. And so the other thing is, too, you have to be finding somebody who's willing to continue to pursue things and follow through on everything.

Rose [00:05:33]:

So what we always like to call ourselves was chief annoying officer, so we would still be part of that C suite world. And that's kind of what it is, because sometimes people are just forgetful. So if you can follow through on all of your threads and make sure it gets done, that is sometimes even more valuable than somebody who can fully manage a calendar as well.

Marina [00:05:51]:

Yeah, and that's such a good point because as you're saying that, like, I'm reminded, as an entrepreneur, usually you're the visionary. You have the million ideas, but then you're also, like, scatterbrained and nat brain sometimes where you forget about everything. So we like to delegate it off and, like, say, okay, these are all the ideas I have. But then no one's actually going back full circle and saying, remember you told me all these things wanted to do? And like, this is the follow up. I've been checking back three times instead of it just falling off the plate and being like, oh, well, I guess that didn't work out. Like, you're actually on top of it. And that's another good reminder, is, like, if you're hiring the sister or the friend to be your assistant, then it's on you to kind of babysit them. And that's not the whole point of hiring someone.

Marina [00:06:28]:

It's to get stuff off your plate, not to add more to your plate. And I think that's a big mental block that people have when they hire is, well, now I have to babysit someone. Well, actually, you shouldn't. Like, your ea should be more independent than you and they should be almost micromanaging yourself in a way of all the things that we've delegated off. And they should be reporting to you saying, hey, these are the things we asked for. This is the follow up on this thing. This is the status on this XYZ. They should be more organized than you, which is hard to believe that exists, but you have proven that it is.

Marina [00:06:56]:

And I know that there's a whole breed of you out there that do this. And again, you're coming with a toolkit of experience. This isn't your first gig ever.

Rose [00:07:03]:

I think that's actually something you and I have done recently. I'm like, hey, I need this thing from you. You. And you're like, okay, I'm on it. I'm like, I need this thing from you. You're like, oh, here it is.

Marina [00:07:13]:

Because right now it's summer season, so I'm hardly in front of the computer. I'm doing business from the phone right now. And so you've been so good. And there is a graceful and professional way to be annoying without feeling like you are a drag or like you're annoying or whatever. Like, I just feel like that is a skill set that you have mastered so good, but it's something people can learn. It is an actual skill, a muscle that you have to learn over time.

Rose [00:07:37]:

And truthfully, when I think about eas and whenever I have folks ask me what it's like to be an EA or if they're thinking about changing their career path. Like, I know some people in ta, so, like, talent acquisition sometimes transitions into EA. They asked me the same thing and you just brought it up. It's, the EA does manage the exec. You really are that person who is kind of the boss's boss. That's really how it works. Because, you know, if you don't come through me, you don't get on the calendar, you don't meet with the exec. That's just how it is.

Rose [00:08:06]:

Because that's the whole point of having somebody who's one to protect your time, knows your boundaries, knows what your day to day looks like. And that's exactly where you know this skillset comes in.

Marina [00:08:16]:

As he said, absolutely. And I will say, like, so going back to the very beginning, when we started working together, you were not very familiar with real estate. And so we were both kind of like, okay, let's just bite the bullet and see what happens. Like, you're going to learn so much, but kind of share from your perspective how that was transitioning into a new industry for someone who maybe, like, another realtor might be listening to this, thinking, okay, I'm going to hire an exec, but they don't have real estate experience. Is that necessary? Like, what was your process like?

Rose [00:08:44]:

No, I mean, it definitely makes you more comfortable, right? Because that feels like one fewer thing you have to teach this person. But I think what you and I have discovered for sure is, like, all skills are translatable. And you say that for entrepreneurs all the time. Like, it doesn't matter what skill set you have, you can translate it to whatever you want to do. And especially in this case, even if, you know, I feel, yeah, I still feel like there are real estate terms I'm learning, or, you know, things in the timeline that I'm learning. But if I can take what I know and apply it directly to what you need, I don't need necessarily that real estate experience off the bat, because if that's something that we're both willing to work on and we communicate about how important it is for me to learn that, or how important it is for your admin to learn that you progress in that. But I can still do my job, right? I can still do everything I need you to do. Like, maybe I'll be asking questions or like, needing to know certain things, but most of the time it just comes to how comfortable are you working in the unknown, which most eas should be, because that's kind of your life.

Rose [00:09:48]:

You're sitting there in this puddle of, like, question marks and you have to turn them into like, periods and like bullet points and stuff. And plenty of times where, you know, I don't know what exactly like you might need with a client, especially early on nowadays, not as bad. I can still set up that call. I can still reach out to them and say, hey, Marina would love to connect with you. Or I can say, thank you for joining this call, or anything like that. I don't necessarily need to know all the details right away, but the second I do, that just makes it that much faster when you need it done.

Marina [00:10:18]:

Exactly. Yeah.

Marina [00:10:19]:

Hey, ladies, real quick, if you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list, and you're spiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan. I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm. Mostly, they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantom leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you.

Marina [00:11:00]:

So if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level. So let's dive back in.

Marina [00:11:17]:

And I think just for context, too, of like, what is your roles and responsibilities? How are you helping in the position today? It's not. You're not a transaction coordinator. Let's just, like, draw the line there. We hire that separately for someone who does that full time. She handles, you know, 15 to 20 cases at a time, or I should say transactions. And your job is specifically to be the interim between this, between me and her, and to also keep tabs on all things. But most of your job is also just my calendar management. It's, you're paying the bills for me, so I don't have to take that extra five minutes here and there and around.

Marina [00:11:47]:

You're tracking things for me. But a big part has focused into marketing as of late, just because we've added on the podcast and the YouTube and all the things. And so I've started to decide, well, maybe this is now a new position. Maybe we're growing to a point that we can actually add on a marketing coordinator or a marketing whatever position on the side so that you can stick to your sweet spot, which is making the engine run efficiently. Everything's proactive. You know, we're not acting reactively, but kind of share, like, your day to day routine and like, some of your weekly tasks that you do.

Rose [00:12:19]:

Yeah. So the first thing that I do. I tend to do it Sunday night once in a while. I'll do it on Fridays if I'm really ahead of schedule. But you know, sometimes things happen over the weekend anyway that I need to add. But that first thing that I do every week is our one on one doc. That is like my holy grail. I need to do that every single week so that I know what we're doing, what we're talking about every Monday.

Rose [00:12:38]:

And I highly recommend for any admin out there who does not have a running one on one doc with their exec. Like, that is a thing you need to live and breathe by because that'll be the place where you get to ask your questions. You'll definitely get everything you need done right away. Something you and I don't do as frequently is like in the doc, I would like mention and be like, hey, I need an answer to this, but it doesn't need to be now. I just need to hear at some point, right? So there's like many, many ways to use that doc. So that is the first thing I do. And then I'm constantly like in my inbox. Then I'll check your inbox.

Rose [00:13:11]:

And then, you know, the podcast one because we have email all over the place now, but it also helps me keep everything organized. So I kind of like having separate inboxes like that. So go through emails, we check, make sure everything is scheduled for the week. So that is podcast is up and ready. Podcast is scheduled for video. We know what we're posting this Friday for YouTube. And both of our emails are getting ready to go. So after this, like, I'll have the draft for you for podcast email tomorrow.

Rose [00:13:44]:

And then from there, it just kind of depends on like what we have going on. Like you mentioned in, in a previous episode, there's been times where you're bored, right? And sometimes if I have everything scheduled out, I'm like, oh, I can relax. I've never experienced this in tech before. Like, this is brand new to me. I don't know what it's like to not be stressed out.

Marina [00:14:01]:

Yeah.

Rose [00:14:03]:

So it really is just a day to day making sure, like, I am trying to respond to you in a very timely manner. And especially if clients ever get back to me, it's like that is pretty much instant, right? And then I get that right to you if that's something you need to answer. So the days really are different, which I think we're all used to. We're used to everything being different, but it really is just staying on top of, you know, all the things that we know that needs to happen every single week and then picking up on things that get thrown on us throughout the week.

Marina [00:14:36]:

Yeah, exactly. So as long as, like, our systems are in place, that everything has a process, then we know, okay, I just plugged in these things, checkbox that's done, move on to the next. And then there's always, like, a backflow of items that are, like, do when you can. And so for us, that's like blogging right now or adding things to the website over time. But it's not to say, like, your work to the bone, and you're absolutely maxing out 25 hours a week every week. It's definitely flexible, and I think that's nice because then you can have a life. And I also think some eas have multiple entrepreneurs they work for. So if you wanted to do that, you could potentially share your ea with two or three other entrepreneurs if they had that capacity.

Marina [00:15:12]:

But I like the idea of keeping it open, too, because there's room to grow. And so it's not to say, like, we have to fill all these hours, but if you want them, they're there for you to work them, if you, if you need, and then just, I.

Rose [00:15:23]:

Think especially for you. And I like with your multiple businesses too, like, that makes it a little bit easier to, like, oh, I would love to take on more stuff. Hey, easy enough because you're working on 10,000 things anyway.

Marina [00:15:35]:

Yep, exactly. And so I'm just thinking about, like, workflow. Right? So for someone who's never hired someone before, like, for example, a new client drops into the atmosphere, and they're saying, hey, I want to work with Marina. So then I literally screenshot that. I don't even have to text it out to slack. Rose gets the information, sets up the initial consultation. From there, I get that going, and then I really don't have to do a ton until we're, like, showing. Once in escrow, I'm pretty hands off and I'm just there to negotiate.

Marina [00:16:00]:

But my TC and Rose handles the whole file. And so for, I think for someone who's doing it all right now, they don't even understand that that world exists, that you can basically go from initial contact to closing with, I would say, ten conversations with the client.

Rose [00:16:14]:

Like, that is it paychecks, which is peace of mind. Right. Peace of mind for you that, you know, it's being handled because you're like, okay, here's the information. And, like, at this point, right. We've worked together about a year. So, like, I understand real estate a lot more than I used to. If you tell me this person needs mls or this person needs that, like, I can go do that. Like, you really don't even have to tell me.

Rose [00:16:36]:

Most of the time you're just like, oh, follow up with this person, right? And, like, I just know what to do now. And that's from working together, that's from trusting your admin, you know, that's from letting go a little bit.

Marina [00:16:48]:

And I will say one of the things that people need to look for in an EA is someone who is a self starter and a self researcher. So I feel like you've always done a really good job of trying to find the answer first before you ask the question. Whereas I've worked with some other people where they literally need to be handheld and, like, remember I told you this is where the file lives. Like, go there first before you ask me. But that is a skillset you have mastered in something that's really important in people. And I would say if you're looking to hire someone again, give it a three month trial or even a one month trial, and you're going to feel it out really fast if this person has what it takes, and if they don't, you have to have the balls to just say, I'm sorry, this isn't working out, and move on to the next. But so often I think, especially when they hire the friend or the sister, that they don't want to hurt feelings. And so then it drags out six months to a year, and you guys are both freaking miserable and everyone is hating life.

Marina [00:17:35]:

And I see this happen all the time. And so I just, you got to treat your business like a business. And that means having the tough conversations and being confrontational at times, but really not settling for less. And I think when you said, like, you're the one that organizes the entrepreneur, you're almost the boss of the boss. You have to have that self respect as an entrepreneur to realize, I have this role only, this is my role. And, like, hold yourself to that standard, this high standard. I deserve someone with a resume that stacks up above the rest. I deserve someone that has all this experience I don't have.

Marina [00:18:09]:

I shouldn't settle for the cheapest, fastest person. Like, just don't do it.

Rose [00:18:13]:

No, definitely not. And like you said about, like, hiring, like, the family member or the friend too, it's almost too emotional because you and I, like, I feel like you and I at this point are friends, but it was better that we didn't start out that way. Right. Because then it's easier to define those roles and then we both know how we speak to each other, right? We know how we talk. So we definitely always assume good intent. But I'm not like worried about hurting your feelings. And I know you're not worried about hurting my feelings because this is how we work together. And then you don't have to deal with that part at all, which can be really challenging.

Rose [00:18:46]:

Cause, you know, like you wanna remain, you know, on good terms. It can be easy to become on not good terms.

Marina [00:18:54]:

Yeah. And I think a big part of this too is setting yourself up for success with the way that you communicate to your ea and just being really clear about what's acceptable, what's not. And when it's not that we're having this good constructive criticism conversation to say, actually I'd like it this way instead, instead of just like putting it under table building resentment, like all these things. You have to learn to be a good manager first of all. And that takes time and practice too. So even if it's your first hire, realize you're not going to be the perfect boss. It takes time to work together and it might take two, three eas before you actually hit the sweet spot and some time. And I feel like so many women just don't even want to go there because of all the fear and the worry and all these things.

Marina [00:19:33]:

You got to start somewhere. Like you really just got to do.

Rose [00:19:36]:

Yeah. And before you can become good at anything, you've got to fail a few times.

Marina [00:19:40]:

Right.

Rose [00:19:41]:

That's the only way to get there. And this is exactly the same thing. And like, even if, you know, you don't see eye to eye, like, I think especially, like in any service based business, you're gonna have a nice way to tell somebody that, I don't think this is working right. Like, it doesn't have to be mean. It can be, it just didn't work out.

Marina [00:19:59]:

Exactly. Yep. And it's gonna be emotional or whatever, but you just keep that professional face on and then you cry after you hang up the Zoom call. I've been there. It sucks, you know, just gotta get on to the next one. Like keep the momentum, you know, knowing that have this ideal vision of how your business works in your life and you're not willing to sacrifice anything else until you get there. So that's really important.

Rose [00:20:21]:

And I mean really too, if you think about, you know, buying back your time in the future, right, like you're investing in this EA, right? Now you're investing in learning how to become a better manager. You're investing all of this stuff. But I mean, you know, like, think about what your days are like now. What are, what are things that you don't think about anymore? Right? Like you said, pay the bills. The finance, like, your finance stuff is pretty much done, like tracking your analytics. We've, you know, been pretty good at any, anything like that. There's a lot of things that you think are very small, but anything that you just hand off to me, you stop thinking about, don't you, at this point? So it's kind of great.

Marina [00:21:00]:

It's so freeing. And that's the only way I'm able to do multiple businesses. There's no way I could keep it all in my brain. It just doesn't happen. I'm an expert multitasker, but at the end of the day, the balls get dropped, you know? So you've got to have that extra lever to be like, hey, use this. Delegate. Delegate. And I promise, once you start doing it, you realize it's like a whole can is open.

Marina [00:21:19]:

And you're like, oh, my gosh, I can tell them to do this, and I can ask them to do this. And, like, before you know it, you're going to be bored and you're like, wait, what do I do with my time now? And that's where your sweet spot is. Your job as an entrepreneur is to do the income generating tasks, which I think people forget. And they get so busy with the busy that they totally sidetrack from what actually drives the business, which for me is content creation. It's grading relevant content that brings the audience in. It's having those authentic relationships, going to lunches with people. That's not stuff that Rose can do right, but it's stuff that I can master and convert a client. So super important.

Marina [00:21:53]:

I'm sorry to interrupt, and I hope you're enjoying this episode of the work like a mother podcast. Real quick, I just want to remind you guys, if you are worried about missing an episode, you don't have to worry anymore because we are creating a weekly email that's going to go out automatically every single time there's a brand new episode. And this email is going to have everything you need to know about this week's featured guests. It's going to have all of the links and the resources that we're going to talk about in this episode so you don't have to go around and fumble through the show notes. But it's me served in your inbox every single week. So if you guys want that access, be sure to click below one time in the show notes today, sign up for that email and then you'll never have to worry about it in the future. And bonus, if you really love this, we'd love it. If you share this with a friend, give us a review on whatever platform you're listening to and we'll continue to bring new episodes, new information that's going to help you level up your life every single week.

Marina [00:22:43]:

And then I wanted to bring some perspective to pay. So we're going to talk about money for a second. What do you feel like? Because it's 2024 and I feel like so many women think they can pay $15 an hour still and maybe in certain markets, but like, we know, cost of life and everything is just more expensive. 2024, what would you say is a good starting pay for someone?

Rose [00:23:04]:

I mean, it's always going to come back to what the experience is, right? But basically, if you're below 30, 40 ish dollars an hour, you're not going to find somebody who has the skill set that you want. Or maybe they do, but they're going to spend less time on you, right. Because it's, they can only offer you so much and it's the same thing anyone else would do, right? Like, well, if you're paying me this amount, but I like you, I will do this for you, but I'm not spending more than like 6% of my energy on it or 5% or whatever, right? So you, if you really want that quality candidate who's going to care about your business, you have to pay them. Like you care about your business and you care about them. That's just how it is.

Marina [00:23:45]:

And I think it goes back to you get what you pay for at the end of the day so you can pay someone minimum wage. You know, that's an entry level that's never had experience before, but it's going to take them ten times longer and they're not going to have a system in a process. Whereas like, with you, five minutes, it's done. I know it's taken care of, it's being followed up on, and it's worth every peace of mind, like 1000%. But it does take risk in the beginning because you're going to think, oh my God, this is so expensive. Never paid anyone this much in my life before. And then once it clicks, like give it a month or two, it's just that unlocking of the next level. And then it's like, okay, it's go time now.

Marina [00:24:17]:

We've got no limits. We can handle ten transactions a month, easy.

Rose [00:24:20]:

Like, it's.

Marina [00:24:21]:

Everything's got a system. Yep. Yes, absolutely. Do you feel like we missed any other topics or, like, little nuggets you wanted to drop?

Rose [00:24:30]:

No, I feel like that was really the majority of it. It's just really understanding what your admin does for you, what the admin does for your business, and making sure you actually kind of treat them like your boss, because they should be. If they're good at what they do, they will be your boss, and that will free up your life because. Because, you know, if you're an entrepreneur for so long, you forget what it's like to work, you know, in an office, in a regular job with, like, a hierarchy and all that. But then, you know, it's kind of great when somebody can tell you what to do for once.

Marina [00:25:02]:

Oh, my gosh, yes. I'm like, yes, put me in my place. Tell me what I need to do today.

Rose [00:25:06]:

It is like, we have all these things and are you getting them to this week? Can we push it to next week? And then once I know that from you, it's like, oh, hey, Marina, by the way, there's a daily task on your calendar because this needs to get done, you know, and it's showing up every day. Yep. And if that's something, you know, that works for you, if that's something that you need, it's incredible how just having a single daily reminder somebody else put on your calendar will get you to do what you need to do a thousand percent.

Marina [00:25:34]:

Yep. It's so good. So I think the big thing, too is just start and realizing that it might take you, you know, give yourself three to four weeks to find someone that's actually qualified enough, because I think that's another mistake people make, is interview three people and then just pick the most fun person. And instead of, like, looking at it critically and from a distance, like, without just the feelings, like, analytically, what does this resume tell me? What does their experience tell me? What's their follow up? Did they even follow up from an interview? You know, all of those things play a role in it, but it takes patience and it is going to suck in the beginning. Like, there is a learning curve, but it's going to go faster than you think. So if they pass the 30 day mark, then give them a 60 day mark, and by then you should be ready to cruise. If not, pull the plug and start over. And that's part of the process.

Marina [00:26:20]:

So it is going to be delayed gratification, but it pays off 1000%. So I just want to offer to people, like, if that's you, and you're like, I need this, but I don't know where to start. Or like, how do I even create the job tasks that they're going to be doing for me or build this job posting? We are more than happy to help do that. And we can do that through a mentorship call that I offer. So the calendly link has that. We'll make sure it's in the description below. And I definitely want to just offer that out to you guys. Just have that sit down, get super clear on what you need for your business today, and then kind of in six months.

Marina [00:26:51]:

If this person could do all these things for you within 30 days, what can they do for you in six months? And you'll see the gigantic potential that you have in your business, which is super exciting. So we end every episode with a rapid fire. And so, Miss Rose, what is your Starbucks order?

Rose [00:27:07]:

Oh, my gosh. My Starbucks order lately, because I have been budget girly is an Icedopio espresso cup with extra soy, which essentially is a broken down latte.

Marina [00:27:18]:

Okay.

Rose [00:27:19]:

I was like, that sounds very good. No, it comes out to, like, 364. And so that has been my budget gurgling drink. Latte is like $7.

Marina [00:27:28]:

We're going to have to type that out in the description so that they can copy paste this order because that's a huge hack. Okay, what do you make for dinner if it's last minute?

Rose [00:27:36]:

Last minute. So I always have. I don't know if you've seen the Bukogi mandu at Costco, that, like, giant bag. It's like, it's from PP go, which is like a really, like, popular korean brand. I always have that in the freezer. So I'll make that either boiled or fried, even with noodles or rice or whatever, and just call it a day.

Marina [00:27:53]:

Yeah. Okay. What's your favorite? Go to department of target and favorite designer if you have one.

Rose [00:27:59]:

I don't know if I have a favorite designer, but I am obsessed with stationery, so you'll catch me in the aisle with literally all the pens and different papers and all just what's new here.

Marina [00:28:09]:

I love it. That is a fun section. Like the calendar stuff, too.

Rose [00:28:13]:

It's so cute.

Marina [00:28:15]:

Yeah. Okay. Give us a book or a podcast you recommend to our audience and why.

Rose [00:28:20]:

Ooh, podcast. I. It's funny, I actually didn't think about this one, but it was something that I really liked when I was in university. And I think we've talked about before that you're not used to fiction podcasts. So this one is called welcome to Night Vale. It's just a very eerie kind of fake town where the author is a radio host and he, like, gives you the news and the weather of everything going on in the town, and you learn about the town through the radio show, and it's just. Just, like, a little bit spooky, but very interesting. Probably my favorite podcast I ever listened to.

Rose [00:28:52]:

Just, I love that kind of storytelling in a different way that we're not used to anymore.

Marina [00:28:57]:

Absolutely. And that's such a good reminder that there's a whole genre of other podcasts out there besides self help. Like, I don't know if women needs to hear this, but, like, I'm so into the self help that I don't even look at the other side of the Internet, and it's out there.

Rose [00:29:10]:

You can just have fun with it, too. It doesn't always have to be, I'm going to become better. Or maybe you'll become better because you learned something in the story. I don't know.

Marina [00:29:16]:

Right. You'll get creative inspiration. Who knows? Absolutely. TikTok or Instagram?

Rose [00:29:21]:

Oh, tough one. I would say TikTok.

Marina [00:29:24]:

Okay. And where can people find you online if they want to stalk you and ask for help and all the things?

Rose [00:29:29]:

Yeah, mostly, I guess I would say on Instagram, TikTok, I'm like a scroller, but on Instagram, I am actually there. So it's Aloha Rose underscore, because, you know, everybody has the name Rose now.

Marina [00:29:42]:

Yeah. And your email is roserinatolentino.com. again, if you want to reach out to Rose for any questions. And I would even say if you hire someone and you want some insight or, like, better training or whatever, Rose can absolutely give some systems and some of the apps that we use to run our business. We're.

Rose [00:29:56]:

That's a platform. Yeah, yeah. Happy to share any templates that I use. You know, anything, anything you need, I've got it for you.

Marina [00:30:03]:

Amazing. Well, thank you so much for your time. This is fun. And I really just want to, like, shake some ladies up and be like, just freaking ask for help because you.

Rose [00:30:10]:

Need it, you need it, you need it. And it'll change your life.

Marina [00:30:15]:

Absolutely. All right, well, thank you.

Join Marina as she explores the dynamic world of homeschooling in 2024, sharing her personal journey and practical tips. Discover the flexibility and customization that homeschooling offers, and learn how to navigate different curricula and teaching styles. Whether you're a seasoned homeschooler or just considering the switch, this episode provides valuable insights and inspiration to help you create a successful and fulfilling learning environment for your children.

Mentioned in this episode:

Miacademy

The Good and the Beautiful

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

Newsletter: https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/worklikeamother

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Transcript:

Marina [00:00:00]:

So with anything with homeschool, there is, like I said, an entire spectrum of ways to do it, and there is no one right way. So don't let anyone ever tell you that this is the only way to do it, or I promise you, this is gonna work. Because not only is every curriculum different, but every child is different and every parent is different. So you have all these different factors that play into your homeschooling experience. That's gonna change it. On today's episode, we're gonna get into the nitty gritty of homeschooling. My third grader has actually been like, now that we are officially in summer break, and I have survived about four months of homeschooling amidst a move on all of these things. So let's dive into the realities of homeschooling in 2024.

Marina [00:00:47]:

So the homeschooling episode that we did was actually one of the most popular ones. And I had so many DM's and friends texting me about it, saying they were thinking about homeschooling themselves, and they're so glad that I shared some of those resources with them. But I think amongst the general public, like, homeschooling is on the rise. And we know this, and I kind of talked about this before, but it's becoming more and more popular every single year because we just start to see all the failures of the school system in our faces. Once your children get a little bit older year after year, and it really is dependent on the area you're in and on the school system that you're set aside or if you can afford private. And here in Hawaii, I mean, private school is easily, you know, 10,000 plus a year, which is a huge addition if you're not already having a high cost living. So for us, homeschooling made sense. Like I said, my third grader just finished third grade.

Marina [00:01:38]:

We're going into fourth grade. And then my little one, my four year old, we just pulled her out of preschool. And she has another year of preschool, technically, before she starts kinder. But moving into next year, kind of what I'm going to do is just continuing the same thing I've been doing with my older son and then with my little one. I'm not going to do curriculum with her, but she is very eager to learn right now, and she really loves tracing, she loves pretending to do school. And so as long as she has that natural craving for it, I will absolutely, you know, foster that and give her worksheets and stuff, but no formal curriculum for the four year old at this time. So for the nine year old, let's kind of review where we've been and where we're going. So when I started, I definitely did my due diligence of research, but I wouldn't say, like, crazy OCD style.

Marina [00:02:25]:

Like, I got a sense of what's out there in the world today in forms of technology and workbooks and different curriculums. And I ended up falling on the good and the beautiful for language arts and math and actually really love the program and all the books that come with it and the tools that they send and stuff. But it is a workbook. It is a formal workbook. So if you are someone that is thinking you're going to unschool and have no curriculum, you don't need those workbooks. But for me, and I think for my husband, too, we wanted some peace of mind that we were moving the needle forward and I had structure personally as the teacher, because I think if I did nothing, I would constantly be like, you know what, if ing my whole day, like my brain and thinking I wasn't doing enough. So at least this gives me enough traction to say, hey, we can do a little bit here, a little bit there, but it's not, you know, 8 hours of school a day. And realistically, in this season of life, like, homeschooling would take us anywhere from an hour to 2 hours max a day.

Marina [00:03:21]:

And that's including 20 minutes of reading, plus the workbook of language Arts, which takes about 30 minutes. And then the math usually takes us longer. Anywhere from like 30 minutes to an hour.

Marina [00:03:33]:

Hey, ladies, real quick. If you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're spiraling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm, mostly. And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantom leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you.

Marina [00:04:14]:

So if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level. Let's dive back in.

Marina [00:04:31]:

And I have to say, the biggest thing that takes the most time is honestly, the attitude. So, parents of elementary kids, you know, attitude is everything, and we are learning every day how to be better parents about it. But a friend had shared with me this podcast called the Calm Parenting podcast, and it's been so helpful in just speaking to exactly what we're going through. And it's a power struggle, more than the content, 1000%. So the material is not an issue. He can learn it very easily. It's very much at his grade level and learning level. And when we.

Marina [00:05:06]:

When he's focused and he's willing to, like, get down and do the work real quick, I mean, he can do a whole lesson in 15 minutes. It's amazing. It's like a freaking miracle. But most days, there is a lot of power struggle going on. And so I have learned through listening to the calm parenting podcast that most of the issues come from my freaking self, which is frustrating, but also very relieving and freeing to know that I can change myself. And we know this about our, like, just like with life, we can't change our spouses, right? But we can change ourselves. So if I can approach schooling differently and if I can let go of so many expectations of the way that I want him to do things and allow him the time and the space for him to do things the way that he wants to learn, then there is so much better balance between us. But I just have to bite my tongue constantly because of course he's going to do things different.

Marina [00:05:55]:

He wants to do it laying down. He wants to do it upside down. He wants to break five pencils in the session. Like, he's just very much a very high energy, active boy where I'm just like, can't you just sit down and, like, do it? And it just doesn't work that way. So we've come to some days where, like, the power struggle happens before we even open the book. Like, the power struggle is happening. I don't want to do school today. And so we went outside one day, and I did multiplication drills while he shot the basketball.

Marina [00:06:25]:

And it was great. And he had a blast and then he asked to do it again the next day and the next day. And so I've learned he's very much a kinesthetic learner, and he needs to be moving his body to do this without fighting. If I ask him to sit at a desk, like, instant tears, and it's not even, I am like the most patient, graceful person with him, like, my husband cannot. But I have intentionally been so calm and so patient, and he still gets so emotional and so power struggle that I've just learned to accept, okay, this isn't working. Take the cue and move on and do a different way. Try it a different way. Sometimes if I try to teach a lesson through reading the workbook prompts, it's not working.

Marina [00:07:02]:

Then I'm like, okay, just full stop. Let's do a YouTube video, and I'll find something that's engaging about the topic on YouTube that'll catch his attention. Then we come full circle. Okay, now we do a little lesson practice together. So, so much of homeschooling is being adaptable and flexible to the day, the hour, and the mood of your child, because no day is the same. And that goes to say with the schedule, too, we don't have, like, a set time that we do school every day. It's like, if I've got a full morning of zooms, then we're going to do school in the afternoon or vice versa. If I've got a full afternoon or evening, then we're going to bust out school first thing in the morning.

Marina [00:07:36]:

And then because school only takes about an hour to 2 hours a day, most of his time is spent playing literally what kids are supposed to be doing. So the screen is not on, the tv is not on. He's outside, he's riding his bike. He's playing basketball. Like, I'll give him the little bluetooth speaker, and he'll just go ham for 45 minutes to an hour shooting hoops with some tunes on. Around the afternoon time, all the street kids come out and they're like, they'll play outside for four to 6 hours nonstop in the sun, just running around and running amok. And that is where so much of the interaction goes on, the socialization goes on, the learning goes on, and it's just been so good to see him have fun and, like, take off all the restriction and limits that he used to have. Like, just with family that we have visiting, they have like, four or five sports teams that they're a part of, and they school full time, right, with public school.

Marina [00:08:32]:

And so they have no free time, and it's just a complete night and day difference of our schedule where we've intentionally made freedom for our kids to just be and just interact and do what they want to do and explore different things creatively.

Marina [00:08:46]:

Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt, and I hope you're enjoying this episode of the work like a mother podcast. Real quick. I just want to remind you guys, if you are worried about missing an episode, you don't have to worry anymore because we are creating a weekly email that's going to go out automatically every single time there's a brand new episode. And this email is going to have everything you need to know about this week's featured guests. It's going to have all of the links and the resources that we're going to talk about in this episode so you don't have to go around and fumble through the show notes. But it's me served in your inbox every single week. So if you guys want that access, be sure to click below one time in the show notes today. Sign up for that email and then you'll never have to worry about it in the future.

Marina [00:09:24]:

And bonus, if you really love this, we'd love it if you share this with a friend, give us a review on whatever platform you're listening to, and we'll continue to bring new episodes and new information that's going to help you level up your life every single week.

Marina [00:09:36]:

And so I think it's been really good. It's been a transformation of mindsets. Absolutely, 100% from when I started in March to where we are today in June. And so going into next year, I think I'm going to continue with the current curriculum that we have, which is good and beautiful. So I'll get the fourth grade set again just for language arts and math. They do have other subjects like science and arts and all these things, but honestly, I love keeping those an open option and not feeling like I need a third workbook. Like the two workbooks is enough for this grade level. And we're doing science all day, every day, just through doing life together.

Marina [00:10:13]:

So that whether that's through cooking, baking, he's baking with me, whether that's farm life, whether that's just taking care of the house or whatever, like he'll help Ryan with the cars. There's a lot of learning going on that's not in a book that I feel is sufficient for this age. However, obviously, once we get into middle school, there's some more functional things he might need to take on. Maybe we do some other things. We have experimented with Mi Academy, which is spelled Miacademy. I heard rave reviews from a couple of parents, but for my son's learning style, he's such an impatient learner that he didn't like that it was making you pass the test or whatever the quiz to get to the next lesson. So he'd jam through and not read the things and then be frustrated. And then it was a whole thing where he was smashing the computer and I was like, nope, this isn't working.

Marina [00:11:01]:

So we pulled Mia Academy temporarily, but I think we could always go back to it if we had a season where he can enjoy it more. I did enjoy Mia Academy's typing program. That was good for him to just get some more experience with his finger placements and doing the ASDF and all that as a third grader. I think we'll continue that just for me academy, just the keyboarding part of it. But if he get to a pace where he does have curiosity to learn more or a subject that I'm not good about, then we can get there. But for now, like, I totally have peace of mind to just skip that and just do the basics and knowing that life will take care of the rest at this moment. So with anything with homeschool, there is, like I said, an entire spectrum of ways to do it and there is no one right way. So don't let anyone ever tell you that this is the only way to do it.

Marina [00:11:51]:

Or this. I promise you, this is going to work. Because not only is every curriculum different, but every child is different and every parent is different. So you have all these different factors that play into your homeschooling experience that's going to change it. I have another friend who runs like, a tight ship curriculum and it sounds very intense to me. It's like eight subjects and it's a full school year and they have breaks and all this stuff. That's not us. Like, honestly, I would say four days out of the week we hit our mark of where I'm supposed to be doing what I'm supposed to be doing in the book.

Marina [00:12:22]:

And then the three days is like flex days. So maybe like on a Friday I have a full work day, so that means I'm not able to do homeschool, so we're going to do it on a Sunday. Or honestly, maybe we just skip it. Like, I'll be reading through some of the content and if it's just a repeat, it's trying to review the lesson again and again for a couple of days. If Roman can pass that and, like, I don't need to drill it into him anymore, I'm like, are you good? You're good. You got this. And I'll quiz him. Then we just skip five pages and we go forward.

Marina [00:12:48]:

Like, that's the freedom of being the teacher, is you get to decide what and when to teach all the things. So I think there's just been so much more grace added to my plate moving into next year, which has been huge, but it's just accepting where you are in life, that's the full thing. Not trying to fight it, not trying to force anything. We're not trying to hurry up. There is no hurry in this whatsoever. And really just getting back in tune with your children. So I'm excited to see where it goes. And the support from the homeschooling moms online has been huge.

Marina [00:13:23]:

Like, anytime I post a little glimmer of homeschool life, like, the moms come out in forces and they're just like, you're doing so good. Like, imagine what this could be like in two years from now. Like, you're only on six months in. Like, it gets better and better and better. And that has been so encouraging to just keep going. So if you are on the fence of exploring homeschooling, I definitely recommend talking to more moms who are doing it, because I haven't heard one grumble yet. Honestly, like, the moms that are doing it love it, and for good reason. So that's going to wrap up today's episode.

Marina [00:13:54]:

It's a shorty, but just a little update on homeschool life. Fast forwarding from when we started in March to now, June, and moving into fourth grade and the four year old now at home. I am so excited. So I hope that encourages you to keep learning, keep researching. Don't hesitate to reach out to me if you guys have questions and you want to know, you know, what I've learned or what resources we're using today, how our schedule looks like. I'm an open book all the time, so I look forward to hearing from you guys, and we'll see you on another episode.

In this episode, Marina dives deep into the reality behind her streamlined, successful lifestyle that allows her to work just 4 hours a day while managing multiple businesses and homeschooling. Recorded from the car during a hectic week, Marina shares her journey from experiencing burnout to creating a balanced work-life dynamic. She provides insights and actionable steps on how to delegate effectively, prioritize tasks, and focus on what truly drives her business forward. Whether you’re an entrepreneur, a busy parent, or both, this episode is packed with valuable tips to help you reverse engineer your current routine to achieve your ideal work-life balance. Tune in and discover how you can start working smarter, not harder!

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

Newsletter: https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/worklikeamother

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Transcript:

Marina [00:00:00]:

I felt the first experience of burnout that I was like, oh, my gosh, this is too much. And I actually lost my love for the business. Let me actually look back at my business and reflect on what's actually working. And that was like a huge aha moment. And that has been one of the most freeing things I think I've ever experienced. But if you can find that happy ideal, at least you have a compass. We are recording today's episode from the car because it's one of those weeks. It's a marathon week.

Marina [00:00:34]:

We're not home in front of the desk anymore. So here we go. I think really, this episode, it's funny, actually, that this topic today is about doing a four hour workday. Yeah. It's during a marathon week. So that just shows you right there, there's no such thing as normal. But really, what I wanted to talk to you is about how I have built a business that allows me, on average, to work about 4 hours a day. And I would even say or less on average.

Marina [00:01:04]:

That being said, obviously life happens. Events pop up, people come into town, whatever, and, like, sometimes that's not going to be your every week. But if I looked at an average of four weeks a month, I would say I'm working about 4 hours a day. And the reason why I really wanted to record this is because the number one question I'm asked all the time is, Marina, how do you do it all? How do you run multiple businesses? How do you homeschool? How do you have time to do all these things? You're a crazy person, basically. Like, I can see it in their eyes. I just want to have to start. And the first thing I say is, I don't. That is the biggest misconception is that I am doing all of these things by myself without any help.

Marina [00:01:45]:

Like, number one misconception. So let's break it down today in a shorty commute episode for you just to get real. And I think, hopefully set some clarity and perspective for you so that wherever you are at in business, in life, in motherhood, you can kind of determine, well, what do I want to do in two years or one year? If I had a one year goal about how I was spending my time, what would that look like? And could I reverse engineer what I'm doing today to get me there in the future? And it could happen sooner. Right. So let's kind of dive into this. So the first thing I want to talk about is that it wasn't always this way. Like, duh, that's a no brainer. But for reference, I have spent the last 14 years, almost, oh, my gosh.

Marina [00:02:28]:

14 years in the entrepreneurship world where I was wedding planning, man. I've done network marketing. I've been a natural salesperson. But it wasn't truly, I don't think, until we opened, not even our honey company, but when we opened our furniture rental company, that shit got real, and it got really hard. And I felt the first experience of burnout because there was so much physical labor in addition to marketing, in addition to just, like, ever rising expenses and paying for storage and all this stuff that I was like, oh, my gosh, this is too much. And I actually lost my love for the business, for what we were doing with our clients. It became more about me and my misery than it was about the joy of serving someone.

Marina [00:03:16]:

Hey, ladies, real quick. If you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're spiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm, mostly. And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantom leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you.

Marina [00:03:57]:

So if you're interested and you want.

Marina [00:03:59]:

To know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com, and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level. Let's dive back in.

Marina [00:04:14]:

So, taking that back like there are, there was a season of life in 20, I'll say 2017 to 2020, where we were grinding, and we had little children. Our son at that time was three to five years old. Well, three to three to four, right? And it was the baby phases. And we worked through that whole period feeling like we had to work like that to survive. Like, it literally came from a survival ambition more than it did of, like, the joy of pursuing a passion, I would say. Because in Hawaii, it's so expensive to live here that you had to have multiple streams of income to make it work or. So that that's what I thought. That was the narrative that I was living.

Marina [00:04:58]:

And so because I believe that that's the life that I lived. Well, fast forward, I got my real estate license in 2020, right? Like, a lot of you guys know this story, but again, I went into grind mode, right, because that's what I thought I had to do. I had everyone telling me that was my mentors and my coach and my team lead saying, you have to work above and beyond and put your head down and grind, and it's going to take you three to four years until you actually start to breathe. And so I believe that. And that's the life I lived. And it's because I was spraying a fire hose at freaking everything. Even though I knew some other things, like, because my circle around me told me that I had to do all these things, I did it. So I was cold calling, I was chasing people.

Marina [00:05:43]:

I was, like, door knocking. I was doing so many different marketing tactics and building a social media following and starting YouTube and just like, the grind. And it was also drinking from a fire hose because it was pandemic when I started. So there was so many buyers all at once and not enough listings, and it was just like, a crazy time. So fast forward, 2023. Last year, I started to catch my breath a little bit, and maybe this was a prayer relief from the market having slowed down due to high interest rates. But I got to catch my breath where there was like a month or two that it wasn't as busy. I was like, oh, my gosh, this is craziness.

Marina [00:06:21]:

Let me actually look back at my business and reflect on what's actually working. And this is also thanks to my husband, who's the numbers guy, who was always like, what are you spending money on? And what's actually worth it? Like, are you just spending money to spend money? Like, where is your expenses going? So he had me make a report of where most of my business is coming from and how much it cost me per lead to convert a lead into a sale. And so that seems like common sense when you think about it from a business perspective. But I can tell you, as a visionary and as a creative, that is the last thing on my mind. I'm just on to the next thing, all the other ideas and shiny object syndrome, and I never actually slow down to look at results and data. Like, that is a flaw of mine that I know of. It's a weakness. So having him do that for me was super eye opening.

Marina [00:07:06]:

And I realized, actually, even though I was on a team, 80% to 90% of my business was coming from my own social media efforts. And out of all the money that I'm spending, it was all coming from YouTube. And so I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. So you need to tell me that if I can do 70% less of this busy air quotes, busy time, busy work, chasing leads, and just go all in on one thing, that I could have a more stable income and more time for my family. And that was, like, a huge aha moment. So if you're listening to this, I want you to, like, really think granularly about all the things that you're doing, because you're probably doing what I was doing in the beginning as a not fearful, but, like, worried newer entrepreneur thinking you have to do all the things because something's got to stick, but you don't know what it is yet, so you're just doing everything, and in the meantime, you're feeling like a frazzled, crazy person. So you got to stop that.

Marina [00:08:03]:

You got to step back, analyze what's actually working. Like, where did your last three best clients come from? And do you spend any money to get them? And if you did, how much did it take? Like, how many pieces of content, for example, in my business did it take to actually get them to convert? And so you can do this, and let me tell you, it is so eye opening. So do that first. And then I realized, okay, 2024, new year, new Marina. We're going to do this differently. And I stopped all outbound energy in my business. I am not calling anyone cold. I'm not mailing anyone right now.

Marina [00:08:40]:

I'm not even door knocking or circle prospecting my listings after they close. I am solely in a position of just working on being magnetic online. And people are coming to me already having known me, liked me, trust me, through my content that I don't have to sell at all. Like, I literally, when we're on a consultation or a call, they're already raving fans. And that has been one of the most freeing things I think I've ever experienced. And there's so much permission to be you once you start to get these things and, like, it starts to happen on a consistent basis. But in the beginning, you're totally mind f ing yourself to think that it's like a fake out, a juke. Like, these people online must be talking some fantasy, and it's for them, and it's not for you.

Marina [00:09:25]:

And there's just, like, so many excuses I went through, and I want to tell you it's real. So today, in my business in June 2024, I work, on average, about 4 hours a day, utilizing the time and the talent of my part time assistant. So she works about 20 hours a week, I would say, on average, which seems like a lot, but it is. She's basically also my full time marketing assistant, if you think of it that way. So all my job is now in this stage of my career, having been four years into the real estate industry, owning a honey company, starting a nonprofit, and being able to homeschool my third grader. My job is to communicate with her clearly, which we do so through slack. So first thing in the day, I'm checking my slack messages, and I'm skimming my email. Sometimes I don't actually get to my inbox until halfway through the day.

Marina [00:10:13]:

And it's only if it's like, urgent, transactional things that I'm responding to. Usually, out of a five day work week, I'm probably in front of my computer, like at a desk two or three days out of the week. The rest of that time is, like, in and out, running errands, doing things with Roman. Like, we're not necessarily in an office scenario. Right. And so I'm not always available on email. Like, email is not a high priority in this phase of business. What is a high priority is content creation.

Marina [00:10:41]:

And I will say that we have created a system now where one day a month I spend a four hour time block of just creating YouTube videos. So I did this today. I met with my videographer, who we hire, and we busted out for short term. Well, I guess they're long term. They're like five minutes to ten minute YouTube videos around the island. And I do have drive time associated with that. So that's an hour driving there, an hour driving back. So, in all, it's about a five hour work wait, 4 hours, plus two hour, six hour workday, if I account from the time away from home to get those four videos out.

Marina [00:11:17]:

Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt, and I.

Marina [00:11:18]:

Hope you're enjoying this episode of the work like a mother podcast real quick. I just want to remind you guys, if you are worried about missing an episode, you don't have to worry anymore, because we are creating a weekly email that's going to go out automatically every single time there's a brand new episode and this email is going to have everything you need to know about this week's featured guests. It's going to have all of the links and the resources that we're going to talk about in this episode so you don't have to go around and fumble through the show notes. But it's be served in your inbox every single week. So if you guys want that access, be sure to to click below one time in the show notes today, sign up for that email and then you'll never have to worry about it in the future. And bonus, if you really love this, we'd love it if you share this with a friend, give us a review on whatever platform you're listening to and we'll continue to bring new episodes and new information that's going to help you level up your life every single week.

Marina [00:12:07]:

Now, I don't touch those videos after I film them. After I remove my microphone and give it back to my videographer, I go home and I don't think about it because I've set up a system and trained my team to do this for me. So now the videographer will send that off to the editors who will get that back in a timely manner. We have a posting schedule, we will see it for review. That's the next time I see it is after it's been edited. I usually just watch it through one time, and to be honest, sometimes I don't even watch it all the way through because my assistant is also watching it and catching any minor things that need to be like tweaked into fine tuned. And then after that, my assistant then runs it through cast magic and like some other AI technology to create SEO optimized title. The description which we fine tune to our voice and we always edit it.

Marina [00:12:59]:

We don't ever just copy paste, we're making sure it's true. And then we're also creating a thumbnail. She creates a couple of thumbnail options for me, which I literally she'll slack it to me and it takes me less than 30 seconds to look at what she's drafted and give her a thumbs up, a thumbs down, or create an alternate that I'd like instead for each of those options. Okay, then the assistant is also uploading that YouTube and scheduling it and adding it to my weekly newsletter that goes out every Friday. So myself, as the content creator, most of my time is just spent in the creation, not in the post production. And I'm able to do this because I've put all of my energy. Not all, but, like, 80% of my leads are coming from this one source. So I'm willing to dedicate more resources to make this efficient.

Marina [00:13:45]:

Okay, let's talk about the podcast. Same thing I usually set aside, or my assistant, I should say, sets aside time in my calendar for me to record three to four episodes within a day, ideally, but lately, there's been a bunch of reschedules with our guests. So we're doing, like, I think we did two in the last week, and then I'm gonna record two solo episodes, which, literally, I'm recording this for my car. So, podcast doesn't have to be super complicated, but if I can, in the ideal world, we're doing this in a four hour time block, maybe a break or two in between, but it's done in one day, and then same thing. After I record it, it gets added to a Dropbox link, and my editors take it away, and the assistant does all of the post production and scheduling, and it gets on the Internet, okay. With each of those, with every vlog, with every or every video and every podcast, it's also being added to my website by my assistant, which she is then automatically, this is a feature in squarespace. It can automatically turn into a Pinterest post, which is awesome. And the one thing that I need to work on is taking this content that I'm creating two organic pieces of content, each podcast and each video, and turning that into social media content.

Marina [00:14:52]:

So sometimes I'll post it, sometimes I don't. I'm just out of habit of doing it. But this is the whole content diamond that Larissa and I talked about a couple episodes ago. Every content you create, every piece should then replicate about five to six other websites content in different forms of it, whether that's a written form, a video form, a text form, whatever. There is so many ways to multipurpose every piece of organic content so that you shouldn't feel like you have to create new content every day. But going back to the four day work schedule. So, yes, I do have transactions. Yes, I do have client consultations.

Marina [00:15:26]:

Sometimes a Zoom call can be 45 minutes to an hour with a brand new client, which is part of the process. But on average, if I'm only taking on five to eight new clients a month, like, it's not that many meetings. It's like the initial call and then a couple of showings, and then we're in contract, and then my transaction coordinator flies with it. Like, I don't have to be a part of every single step of any process anymore. I have removed myself and replaced it and delegated it to someone who is more talented and has more time capacity than I do. And I have built this team in this system so that it operates without me. Like, essentially, all I have to do is show up for a couple of meetings, show up for a couple of recordings, and then my business runs on its own. And once you realize that that's possible, because so many of us have so many walls up about letting go of control in our business, it will change your life.

Marina [00:16:20]:

So there's been days where I'm bored, guys. I'm literally like, I don't have anything in the calendar. What am I going to do today? I guess I'll play 30 to 45 minutes of piano, or I guess we'll go to the beach. There's been a couple times this spring, like, a couple weeks, I should say, where I'm just like, escrows are good. My lead flow is good. Like, we don't have to do anything. And it's. I never thought I would get to this business.

Marina [00:16:48]:

I always thought that you would have to push to make something happen, and you don't. You literally just have to be consistent with a couple of key pillars of your business, and it can work for you. And the best thing about content is it's evergreen. It keeps working while you're sleeping. Someone in Korea is watching my content while I'm sleeping. Like, it literally is so crazy. And they will binge hours and hours and hours of you talking on a video if you have the balls to show up on video and serve your audience with value. So I am going to create another solo pod, solo podcast episode just specifically about content creation that converts, because just recently, I've reinvigorated my TikTok after giving it a break.

Marina [00:17:33]:

And in the last three weeks, I've been posting not consistently, like, the experts say I should, like, air quote experts where I'm posting three times a day, but I am probably posting, I mean, like, four to eight new TikToks a week, you know, which is anywhere from, like, three TikToks in a day to one every other day. And it just kind of varies based on my schedule and how I feel. But through that, I've already gotten one buyer client, and I've gotten an agent that wants to mentor with me, and she's from Nashville, and I'm in Hawaii. So TikTok does work, and it can work very fast. Like, it can turn your business around if you take it serious. And I believe that's the same with any platform. Like, I have heard of stories of people who have blown up their business on Instagram today, starting from scratch or reinvigorating it if you have the capacity to be consistent with it. So I.

Marina [00:18:22]:

If I'm being honest with my time right now, I would say an hour a day, minimum. I'm on social media apps, just engaging with people or getting inspiration or actually creating new content. And I'm probably spending 15 to 20 minutes on email a day. And then I spend maybe an hour on education and like some trainings and courses that I'm a part of. Like, yeah, they're like group coaching stuff, and that's like twice a week. And then sometimes I'm spending time on canva, I'm editing my buyer or not my buyer's guide, I'm creating a guide to Oahu. So that's taking some time. We are working on the website, so that's taking some time.

Marina [00:19:05]:

But really, it's not like appointment working or pushing for business. It's more like creative projects on the back end that can work out over time. Like, that's really where my time is going. So it is realistic to have a four hour workday. And then I recognize that if I'm going to grow my business, or if I'm going to put more energy towards this nonprofit or towards the honey company, that's going to add to my plate. So something's got to give. There is a cost to everything. And we go through seasons, so right now it's a very manageable season for me.

Marina [00:19:36]:

But maybe come July, things are going to be very different. And let's say the farm stuff starts picking up all of a sudden, or we have a project we gotta get done. Or for example, I'm sitting two. I'm gonna be at two markets selling honey in June. That takes more time. I'm gonna have to spend some time bottling, packaging, marketing, all that good stuff. Getting supplies, running errands. Like, it just kinda swings.

Marina [00:19:59]:

But if you can find that happy ideal, at least you have a compass, and at least you can tell, yes, I'm off, or no, I'm off. And when you do your Sunday calendar reset, you're gonna know, hey, I need to, like, restructure how this is going, or maybe I need to say no to more people or whatever that is, but I just wanna encourage you guys. Like, it is so doable, and you can make multiple six figures doing it plus and not have to spend a bajillion dollars on stupid online leads. Okay, so I'm gonna wrap this up. Cause it's starting to get into ramble, but it's been on my mind, it's been on my heart. And I just feel like there's so much misbelief and negative talk that you're going through that I want to encourage you. It is possible. It takes delegating.

Marina [00:20:43]:

It takes sacrifice. It takes risk. Everything has a risk. Everything good comes with a risk. But if you believe in it and if you really want it, it is possible. And as a reminder, I know I've got these ad spots in here about mentorship, but that is literally what I do for you, is we will meet once a week, one on one on a Zoom call, and say, what's working this week, what's not working? Great on the not working. Let's do less of that and more of the thing that is working, and then really just identify some of the pain points you have and maybe overcome some hurdles. And sometimes you just need that person, aka me, to say, I believe in you.

Marina [00:21:19]:

Let's do this. Check on you a couple times. And by next week, you have done the thing. I'm your accountability partner, and I'm rooting you on like your biggest cheerleader in your corner. So I just want to encourage you guys. If that's you, definitely go to the website marinatolentino.com. schedule the discovery call. It takes ten minutes.

Marina [00:21:37]:

It says five minutes on my calendly. But realistically, we're going to talk probably ten to 15 minutes. Just a deep dive into what you're struggling with and see if I'm a good fit. And if I am, we're going to have so much fun and you're going to, like, really transform your life and your business. And if I'm not, I wish you all the best, and it's. I can probably recommend you to someone else. To be honest, I have some really great contacts. So I hope you guys have an amazing week.

Marina [00:21:59]:

I hope this encouraged you to just try. Try get clear with yourself with what you really want and freaking go for it. I'll see you next week.

In this episode of the Work Like A Mother Podcast, host Marina Tolentino sits down with the dynamic Kristen Cantrell to uncover her inspiring journey as a multi-passionate entrepreneur. From her roots in real estate to creating impactful podcasts and events, Kristen shares her powerful story of balancing business success with family life.

🌟 Key Highlights:

Transforming a Podcast into a Phenomenon: Discover how Kristen's unwavering consistency and perseverance turned her podcast into a thriving platform over two years.

Building Meaningful Communities: Learn about her innovative business, Connect and Cultivate, which started in real estate and now empowers female entrepreneurs across the nation.

Mastering Work-Life Harmony: Kristen reveals practical self-care routines, the art of time-blocking for family, and tips for managing multiple businesses without burning out.

Actionable Entrepreneurial Insights: Get ready for Kristen’s social media strategies, event creation tips, and the secrets behind successful retreats and masterminds.

If you're passionate about growing your entrepreneurial spirit and building a supportive community, this episode is for you!

Mentioned in this episode:

A Court of Thorns and Roses (ACOTAR) - Sarah J. Maas

Traction: Get a Grip on Your Business

Kristen Cantrell

https://heykristencantrell.com/

IG: @heykristencantrell

Moms in Real Estate Podcast

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

Newsletter: https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/opt-in

Listen to Work Like A Mother

Apple

Spotify

Or any of your favorite platforms!

Transcript:

Kristen [00:00:00]:

Something that will always sit in the forefront of my mind is everything big starts small. The hard part is when you're building a community, you're going to be all excited about an event that you're putting on, and you might have no one show up. If no one shows up or two people show up, you are so defeated that you never go to that next event. I cannot tell you how many events I've had where people don't show up, and I don't care. I go to the next one and the next one, the next one. So you have got to have consistency, and you've got to have grit to get through the payoff. If you can be consistent and do it over time is like, you're literally building your network to build your net worth, and you can launch so many different things when you have a good network. I think that a lot of people just don't have the ability to stick with something that sucks, you know? Embrace the suck.

Marina [00:00:44]:

Yeah. All right. Today I have someone super special, the one and only Kristin Cancelle, who I'm just gonna read your instagram bio because I think it pretty well. One multi passionate mama. So, your ig bio reads. You create spaces for entrepreneurs to thrive one event at a time. You're in real estate. You're a podcaster, a room creator, a master connector, and an Airbnb beer.

Marina [00:01:10]:

Holy moly. That's mouthful. Plus, you're a mom to two boys that are seven and nine year olds. Hosts of the mom in real estate podcast, which is over 233 episodes now. Oh, my gosh. And then the founder of Connect and create Cultivate, which has 15 plus locations and growing nationwide. So you are busy, multi passionate, holy moly. Welcome to the show.

Kristen [00:01:30]:

Yeah, holy moly is right. Sometimes when I'm like, whoa, what am I doing?

Marina [00:01:35]:

I'm the same. I'm like, okay, I have 42 hours. What else can we build today?

Kristen [00:01:38]:

Like, totally. I just love creating. I feel like that's what I've really found out. I actually. If you've ever done, like, a human design, I had this girl who taught it at my last retreat, and I found out I'm a manifesto generator. And I felt so seen when I look, I heard all this because it's like, I really do thrive with, like, multiple projects going on at a time. And so for so long, I was ashamed of that. And when I finally, like, realized I was built for this, like, I was like, okay, I feel good.

Marina [00:02:06]:

Yes, 100%. I'm the same. I've got three businesses, plus we're homeschooling. Like, we're crazy people, but we're also just, like, the ideas on end where other people have. They don't have that skill set at all. They're like, what do you mean you make money in five days? I'm like, yes. Let me tell you exactly how.

Kristen [00:02:20]:

This is how we do it.

Marina [00:02:22]:

Okay, well, I want to stop for a second because you just went on a trip. I saw on your instagram, and you had no self service for, like, a week.

Kristen [00:02:29]:

No. Oh, gosh. It was only three days with no service, which was. Which was great.

Marina [00:02:34]:

That's a lot.

Kristen [00:02:34]:

Oh, my gosh. I didn't even miss it. Outside of, like, talking to my kids and my husband, I was like, I could do this.

Marina [00:02:40]:

Do you think you would ever, like, add that into your routine every now and then to kind of de plug? Like, how was that for you?

Kristen [00:02:46]:

Yeah, it was great. I have found myself sometimes where it's like, it is very annoying that if I'm stopped at a stoplight, I have to pull up instagram. I'm like, oh, my gosh, can we get off of this? And I actually get annoyed. I get it. I don't even enjoy scrolling, and I find myself scrolling. So to take that away for three days was fantastic. And I should absolutely do that at least once a month.

Marina [00:03:11]:

I know. I saw that, and I was like, I can't remember the last time. I haven't had it for more than 24 hours. Like, it's just always on all the time. So good on you. Props on.

Kristen [00:03:19]:

You hear, like, people are like, oh, I deleted my instagram. I'm like, whoa. Like, how do you. Like. That's where all your business comes from. How did you do that?

Marina [00:03:27]:

Yeah. Yeah. Well, how long have you been in real estate and an entrepreneur?

Kristen [00:03:32]:

I've been in real estate for nine years. I've been an entrepreneur since 2020. Okay. I started in real estate as a recruiter, and I helped build the number one independent brokerage in the nation. And that's where I learned so much of what I do. A lot of what I do has been, like, it's really my personality and what I've enjoyed doing my whole life is building community and being around people. But really taking that into how to build a business was, like, really? When it was, like, how to recruit and retain real estate agents.

Marina [00:04:03]:

Yeah. And, dude, just hiring and firing in the whole process is a lot. And, like, for me, it gets so draining because the retention isn't always there. So many, like, looky lose and, like, yeah, I'm going to change my life with this business. And then three months go by and crickets and you're like, what are we doing? And as a mentor, it feels super draining. How do you maintain that balance? Are you just vetting people better than me? Like, how does that, what does that look like?

Kristen [00:04:27]:

I was taught early on that it's a numbers game. And while I, I have this, like, battle with that, with that sentence, like, it really is in real estate. Just because 90% of people that get into real estate and even being an entrepreneur, like, there's a huge failure. It takes a lot of work and I think people underestimate that. How much? Right? So for me, I really was, at the beginning, it was just like, numbers, numbers, numbers get people and get bodies and some will stick, some won't. What really shifted for me was when I really was like, well, who do I want to be in front of? And really attracting the right people and setting the right expectations? And still you got to bring in a lot of people because even if you do those things, there's going to be people that you're like, oh, my gosh. Like, they came and joined me and started working with me and I haven't heard anything from them and it's been months, like, are they alive? I have no clue what's going on, but I think you just kind of get used to that and you just got to keep going. You know, you're always in build mode.

Marina [00:05:24]:

That's true, it's true. And you never know, like, out of the blue, someone amazing will come up and it'll make up for all the other ten duds that you went through.

Kristen [00:05:31]:

And you're like, oh, there's my person all the time. All the time. Or you know what I also like, I'll never forget this one lady I was, I had an interview with and she, I was like, there's no way this girl is going to make it in real estate. I kept thinking that in my head, right? And we ended up like, I was like, hey, let's like, give her a shot. Let's see what happens. She became a top producer within a year and a half. And I literally told her, I said, shame on me for thinking that. But also what a great reminder that I can't tell if someone's going to be successful based off of an hour conversation.

Kristen [00:06:06]:

Some people kill it in their first interview and they are suck at real estate. So really, like, allowing myself not to, like, make that the end all be all, you know?

Marina [00:06:17]:

Yeah, that's so good. And, like, project things onto them. That's awesome. So you've been busy for a long time, and you've got the two little kids. I've got two as well. I've got a four year old and a nine year old. So we're in it. How do you take care of yourself? Because I know you mentioned pre show form, like, some self care things you do, like, talk to us for the busy moms.

Marina [00:06:33]:

What are you doing?

Kristen [00:06:34]:

Yeah, so I did not take care of myself for a long time, and it really hit over the last couple of years where, I mean, I have hormone problems, I have gut issues, I have all these things. So really, when I was building out, connect and cultivate and what I want it to look like, I had to incorporate health and wellness in there, because if it's not incorporated in there, I won't do it. And what I found is the more I talk about health and wellness, that is my ideal client. That's what they want to talk about, too. We don't want to talk about business all the time. We're not hustle culture people. We want to talk about being well rounded. And so whenever I do anything with my business, I run it through.

Kristen [00:07:14]:

Is the topics going to be around business, money, mindset, connection, and community? And then the other is health and wellness. So I just did a workshop for my female entrepreneurs that was called the wellness toolkit, and we did breath work and not breath work where we're laying on the ground. Yes, I've done that. I love doing that. But this was more like, I'm in my car, I'm stressed out because I'm about to go into an appointment. Like, what are some tactical things that I can do to get me through this? I don't know why this isn't taught in elementary school, honestly. I'm stuff of my gosh. And I do teach my kids it now.

Kristen [00:07:47]:

Um, but, yeah, just like, really incorporating that. I got a membership at this place where I go in a room and there's a sauna, a cold plunge, and a grounding mat, and I'm stuck in there for an hour. And it's hard for me because I'm like, what am I going to do in here for an hour? Like, just stay here. And I really try to, like, do not get on your phone, listen to, like, a pleasure book, not some self help book, not some business book. Like, let's actually take some time to ourselves. And that's been really helpful. And sometimes I will do meetings where instead of sitting across from them at a table. We'll go on walks.

Kristen [00:08:20]:

I love doing that. That's been, like, my favorite thing. If the weather calls for it, like, let's go on a walk and talk business. So. So, yeah, those are a couple of things I do.

Marina [00:08:29]:

Yeah. That's awesome. Talk to me about your schedule right now, because obviously, no days the same, and every week is also different. But how do you kind of compartmentalize where your time and energy goes with doing all the things? Do you have, like, time blocks? Like, what's your percentages towards each business? Talk me through that.

Kristen [00:08:44]:

Yeah, so I. And this is always changing. I don't ever want anyone to think I have this down. This is probably my biggest struggle. Like, right now, I'm summer mom. So right now, that means that I get up, I wake up really early, I work out, and then from, you know, 630 until twelve is my working time. And then from 12:00 on, I'm summer mom, whatever that looks like. So I'm blocking out.

Kristen [00:09:06]:

If we want to go to a pool, we want to go to a jump house, want to go do whatever. Not saying that I won't still kind of be working, but I will not be taking appointments there if I can avoid it. But as far as, like, all the different businesses, I just got off of my mom's and real estate, which is my podcast time block, which is every single Monday from nine, from ten to 11:00, and then on Thursdays, every other Thursday, I have another moms in real estate block where I do podcasting. So I'll block out a little bit before I go on, and then I'll have my podcast and a little bit afterwards and the before and after for the marketing. But those are, like, set blocks where if I didn't do that, I wouldn't do moms in real estate. And then I really, I think, like, more on my schedule, too. I plan out. I try to plan out a year in advance for all my events, um, because otherwise, it would be hard to just show up and be like, oh, yeah, we gotta do this.

Kristen [00:09:58]:

So I know, like, hey, this is what I'm committing to this year. Um, and then we start going and planning each one. Um, and then plugging them into the calendar. And then plugging, like, all the things needed to do around those events into the calendar and stuff.

Marina [00:10:12]:

Cool. So I love that you're doing kind of the four hour workday every day, and it's totally still working. Yeah.

Kristen [00:10:18]:

I actually haven't read that, but, yes.

Marina [00:10:20]:

Well, I think it's the four hour. Is it the four hour work week or it's the work day? Is that. Do you remember if it's day or week?

Kristen [00:10:26]:

The book, I forget, but I thought I like, I need to read it.

Marina [00:10:30]:

Yeah, it might be a day, but I think it's a three hour. But we're doing the four hour too. I'm the same zone. Like, there's no way that I could homeschool if I was working 8 hours a day and all this stuff and running a honey company. Like, it doesn't happen. But I think people on the outside, like women looking at us might think they must be working around the clock. They're staying up till midnight. Like, they probably been there guys, by.

Kristen [00:10:52]:

08:00 hey, ladies, real quick, if you.

Marina [00:10:56]:

Are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're smiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm mostly. And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantic leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you. So if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page.

Marina [00:11:47]:

And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level. Let's dive back in.

Marina [00:11:52]:

Do you have an assistant or how do you delegate a lot of your stuff? What does that look like?

Kristen [00:11:56]:

My poor sister is my everything. So I, and then I also have a, like a marketing assistant. So, yeah, I just, I'm actually after this call today, I have to kind of go through. This has been an area I suck at you guys. Like, when it comes to leading my internal team, I'm not great. I'm just kind of like, I hope everyone can keep up. And here's this, here's this, here's this. So I spoke to my coach last week about this, and I am committed to being a lot more clear and having consistency within that aspect of my business.

Kristen [00:12:30]:

So I don't think I should give advice.

Marina [00:12:32]:

Yeah, I mean, that's one thing that we take for granted, is our assistants are not mind readers because I wish they'll go into, like, autopilot, and then they're trying to play catch up, and they're like, wait, wait, wait. What do you mean you did these other meetings, and, like, we didn't talk about this stuff, and I'm, like, 5 miles ahead of them. Sometimes you have to slow down and explain some things, so.

Kristen [00:12:50]:

And I've been like, you can't. I can't have my sister be like, I'll say my sister because that's what she is, but I can't have her be, like, in charge of, like, the client experience and the vendor program and my accounting and sending out all of my email marketing and creating graphics and showing up at all my events. And that's what I've done. And I'm just like, and then if something falls through the cracks, I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, how did you miss this? And then I'm like, oh, my gosh. How did she not miss it? You know? So I'm just trying to, like, reorganize right now and, like, fix that problem.

Marina [00:13:25]:

Yeah, that's actually a good reminder. I'm kind of going through that struggle point, too. Since we've added the podcast, we're just adding more and more onto my eas plate, and I feel that, like, ugh, it's a little bit too much because it is a lot. You know, with all marketing stuff that we do, it's its own role. Absolutely. Well, I want to dive into community stuff because I feel like we've been experiencing this loneliness epidemic, let alone being a mom who's already busy, doesn't have time for a lot of social events and stuff. What had you start the. Create.

Marina [00:13:52]:

Like, create. What is it? Create and cultivate. No.

Kristen [00:13:55]:

Connect and cultivate.

Marina [00:13:56]:

Cultivate. What made you start that? Like, what was the impetus for that?

Kristen [00:14:00]:

So for me, like, when I started my business, it was, like, kind of on accident. So I went to. We closed down an independent brokerage, and we moved to a virtual brokerage where they had a model where you could get paid off of revenue shares. So I went into it looking at, like, okay, I'm a broker owner, and I've got to figure out, what's my value proposition? Like, if there's agents that get licensed and they're like, where am I going to go work? We're an agent that's unhappy in another brokerage and they're looking, what am I able to say that I'm offering them? And so I spent a lot of time trying to figure that out with myself because I thought, well, I don't sell real estate. I never want to sell real estate. I know all top producing agents who I refer to. I'm friends with them. They teach for me, they do all these things, but that's not where I want to work.

Kristen [00:14:45]:

But I knew the agents, I've met with thousands of them. Like, I knew that they wanted to be around people and they wanted to grow and learn, and they feel like they're lonely. So I was like, I'm going to create, connect, and cultivate to be where I have consistency on bringing them together to grow in their business and their life and bridge the gap of, like, the online brokerage and have the in person events. And so that they didn't feel like they needed a broker or like a brick and mortar office. So that's kind of how it started. It was built solely off of my income, would be off of revenue share, which is super lucrative. And I grew that. I grew it to where I was making like 20 grand a month, which was great.

Kristen [00:15:25]:

But what I noticed was when you're a community builder and a networker and you love meeting people, and all of a sudden you're on a nationwide platform, all these other doors open up. And so I was meeting with women all over the United States. And if the brokerage I was at, which was exp, didn't fit for them, all of a sudden I was like, well, what else is there? There's nothing else. And so I just started listening to, like, well, if they didn't want that, what do they want?

Marina [00:15:50]:

Yeah.

Kristen [00:15:50]:

And so I'll never forget, I was at the park with, um, with one of the moms from school. We were watching our kids play, and she's like, you know, she, she had come to one of my events, and I was like, hey, it's for real estate. But, like, really, you could learn from it, too. So she came, and so we were at the park, and she's like, I just want you to know how great that was. And I wish that there was a you in my community and in my industry. And I was like, well, why couldn't I be that for her? So I just started asking myself I don't have to really change much. I just have to pivot a little bit. Because real estate agents are entrepreneurs.

Kristen [00:16:24]:

They don't think of themselves that way. I can help them think of themselves that way, and I can just really speak to female entrepreneurs instead. So that's when I opened up my membership was because of that one conversation that I had. So now I'm able to service all female entrepreneurs, which opens it up to any brokerage. I don't care what brokerage anybody's at. They're totally welcome to be a part of my community. It just might look a little bit different depending on how you're in there. And then I started looking at vendor partnerships.

Kristen [00:16:54]:

Like, people wanted their businesses highlighted throughout my community. Well, what did that look like? So I created a vendor program, and then I heard forever, like, oh, I wish there was a connect and cultivate in my city. Like, dang it. And I always wondered, how am I going to grow nationwide? And it did not make sense to me. And one of my girlfriends said, she's out of Nevada. She's a team leader in real estate out of Nevada. And she said, hey, could I take the connect and cultivate brand to Nevada? And I was like, I don't, I don't know. And so when she asked me that, she's like, why don't you franchise your business? And I'm like, I hate that word.

Kristen [00:17:29]:

Like, I don't like franchises. And so then I was like, you know what, I can just, like, if I put everything together, all my knowledge that I've been doing for creating rooms and my process and my procedures and everything, and tied it up and called it business in a box, then I could do it. And so I created my chapter leader program where I give people the connect and cultivate brand. The process and procedures, I coach them twice a month. They're around other people doing the same thing. And so all these things started coming up, and there's more of them. I'll just go over these ones. Just because I listened to what people were asking for instead of just trying to make everyone fit into this one thing.

Kristen [00:18:09]:

Yeah, yeah.

Marina [00:18:10]:

And it's a room for all. I think that's what's so exciting about it. And imagine, like, the networking potential now, because you have cross promotion between all industries. Like, it's just a win win win, which is really good. I think one of the things that probably stops a lot of people is the intimidation about starting a community. What tips do you have for someone if they're like, yes, we need this or I need it in my industry or something. Like, what advice do you have for them to get started?

Kristen [00:18:32]:

Something that will always sit in the forefront of my mind is everything big starts small. The hard part is when you're building a community, you're going to be all excited about an event that you're putting on and you might have no one show up. And then if no one shows up or two people show up, you are so defeated that you never go to that next event. I cannot tell you how many events I've had where people don't show up and I don't care. I go to the next one and the next one, the next one. So you have got to have consistency and you've got to have grit to get through, like 100%. And if you need bodies in the room, you better be ready to ask everybody to come. Being a master inviter is a huge thing.

Kristen [00:19:15]:

You can't just put something on social media once, twice, three times and think like, oh, this is going to be great. You need to do it, like, on a massive level and it takes a long time. And so just really, like, I will stress that it's. But the payoff if you can be consistent and do it over time is huge. Like, you're literally building your network to build your net worth and you can launch so many different things when you have a good network. I just. I think that a lot of people just don't have the ability to stick with something that sucks, you know, embrace the suck.

Marina [00:19:50]:

Yeah. And people don't post all the failures, they just see the successes. So they probably didn't see a picture of you sitting in a room by yourself. You know, they just.

Kristen [00:19:57]:

Yeah. Now I literally have an event on Wednesday night. I was like, oh, there's gonna be like, 200 people at this event. There is definitely not 200 people. And I'm like. And I've done a crappy job promoting it. And, like, it's not always great. Like, sometimes it's really hard, you know, so just, you got to know that that's every.

Kristen [00:20:16]:

That's for anything that's so true.

Marina [00:20:18]:

Resiliency, dedication. So good. Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt, and I.

Marina [00:20:22]:

Hope you're enjoying this episode of the work like a mother podcast real quick. I just want to remind you guys, if you are worried about missing an episode, you don't have to worry anymore because we are creating a weekly email that's going to go out automatically every single time there's a brand new episode. And this email is going to have everything you need to know about this week's featured guests. It's going to have all of the links and the resources that we're going to talk about in this episode, so you don't have to go around and fumble through the show notes. But it's going to be served in your inbox every single week. So if you guys want that access, be sure to click below one time in the show notes today, sign up for that email and then you'll never.

Marina [00:20:57]:

Have to worry about it in the future.

Marina [00:20:58]:

And bonus, if you really love this, we'd love it.

Marina [00:21:00]:

If you share this with, with a.

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Friend, give us a review on whatever platform you're listening to, and we'll continue to bring new episodes and new information that's gonna help you level up your life every single week.

Marina [00:21:11]:

And then what are some of the events you guys throw? Cause it's not just like you're bringing in a speaker to talk about one topic. Like I just saw in your Instagram Stories, you got fun things happening. Like, what are you guys doing?

Kristen [00:21:21]:

Oh, we do it all. So, like, this week we have a ladies night. And so I do those once a quarter. And I started doing those just for fun because my sister's an esthetician and I was like, how can we do something together? My other sister? And so anyways, I've been doing them a long time. What's really cool is if you're a community builder, you can use the Augusta role of the tax strategy, which I can write off my house. I can rent my house to myself up to 14 times a year. So the ladies nights have always been, like, a really good placeholder for that, for me to be able to do that. So, yeah, it's just bringing girls together and we do not talk business.

Kristen [00:21:58]:

We're just like, literally in community with each other. I do a big women's event once a year where we do bring in speakers. I do retreats where I bring in speakers. I do. Workshops are my favorite. I do those quarterly, and I like them because they're, I like those like 30, 40 people rooms. I don't want to get. I don't like my as much.

Kristen [00:22:19]:

So we do, we just, like I was telling you guys, we did a wellness one. We do content creation days every single month. Those are my favorite. Um, because getting content sucks, like, so bad and coming up with new ideas, coming up with hooks and what to say and how, like someone just telling you what to do. So nice. So we do that every month. We do. I have an email marketing meetup this week.

Kristen [00:22:44]:

I have three masterminds this week. So putting people in rooms with people that are in a similar situation, super important. You don't want to have somebody who's brand new in business and somebody who's tenured in business. You want to have, like, a good mix based off of, like, the ability and the production and the time. And so I have those. Yeah. I don't know.

Marina [00:23:07]:

There's obviously have a village because you can't do it all by yourself. So you've grown this over time, which is. That's what people need to get to, is you can't do it alone, and you're going to need to manage people. Like, if you're going to grow and scale, you have to lean on other people. That's part of this business, I think you hear that? Yeah.

Kristen [00:23:22]:

Well, yeah, I think for the real estate industry, specifically, like, leverage, and this is any industry, but I'm just, like, thinking through that. But, like, leverage is so important. Like, I can't do all of this on my own. Like, my real estate leg of my business. I have the most amazing partners who I'm like, hey, I was out of town hiking in the Grand Canyon last week. Like, I did not worry about having coverage for anything because I knew I could be like, these are the people that I'm financially aligned with that will have my back and take on anything I need from them, you know?

Marina [00:23:52]:

Yeah. Which. That's freedom right there that you can unplug. And business keeps turning. That's a true business. Well, I know you're a master marketer and you're on all the platforms and stuff, but I want to talk to a woman who's like, maybe starting out in their entrepreneurial journey, and they're overwhelmed by everything. What are two pillars that you're like, absolutely. You have to have these, and these are the things working in 2024.

Kristen [00:24:11]:

Two pillars as far as platforms that I use.

Marina [00:24:16]:

Yeah.

Kristen [00:24:17]:

Like, you mean Instagram would be an answer.

Marina [00:24:19]:

Yeah. Or email or whatever.

Kristen [00:24:20]:

Yeah, yeah. Instagram is definitely, like, my favorite. I'm not even on TikTok. I'm on Facebook. I have a really big Facebook group, but I hate Facebook. I'm, like, hard to log in. Yeah, yeah. I would say Instagram is definitely my main one.

Kristen [00:24:36]:

And then podcasting all day long. Podcasting for prospecting is such a great tool. It's a door opener. Right. And so if you can look at it like that, I think people get confused on they want a podcast. I just had a conversation with a girl in Texas today.

Marina [00:24:53]:

Yeah.

Kristen [00:24:53]:

If you want a podcast, you've got to ask yourself, why am I podcasting? And a lot of times people are podcasting to, I'm not doing that. A lot of times people are podcasting to, like, expand their network. And if you are, like, you have got to have a process and procedure around it. But then also, like, you really want to make sure that you're highlighting somebody else and highlighting their story and you're building a relationship. One thing I've noticed a lot of people podcasting doing, too, is they'll do the podcast, and then all of a sudden, like, there's nothing afterwards. Right. And so if you're gonna do it, make sure that you remember that these are people you want in your community now moving forward. So what does that look like?

Marina [00:25:37]:

Oh, 100%. And it is a relationship. Over time, we should keep going back and being like, hey, you mentioned that one program. How did it go? Or whatever? Yeah, just continuing to dm each other on Instagram and all the socials. How long did it take for your podcast to feel like it was working? Like, when you first started?

Kristen [00:25:53]:

I've been doing that. My podcast forever, you guys. Um, I would say, like, the last two years has been where it's been, like, this is legit. Um, started what year? Huh?

Marina [00:26:05]:

What year did you start?

Kristen [00:26:07]:

I started when my son was one and my other son was a newborn, and they're seven and nine now.

Marina [00:26:13]:

Yeah. So you were just resiliency. You're like, I'm not going to stop. Just going to keep plowing away.

Kristen [00:26:18]:

Yeah, yeah, just keep. Thursdays are moms and real estate days, you know? And it definitely, like, it can be where you put it on the back burner and you still show up, but you're not doing a great job. I've been there for sure, but I feel like over the last two years, it's been really cool because it's just had a lot of reach, and I've met some of the most amazing people. Like, all my chapter leaders are moms in real estate for my connect and cultivate, you know?

Marina [00:26:45]:

Yeah. So I met that, like, six month itch. I think we just published today episode with 25, but it hasn't taken off. Like, I've gotten great feedback, but it's like, as the high achiever, I'm so impatient and I'm like, it's not working. We don't only have 50 downloads. Like, we're not doing it. And so I keep going, yeah, and here's.

Kristen [00:27:04]:

This is not good advice. At all. This is me going to just be completely honest with you guys. Like, I am so bad. I couldn't tell you how many downloads we have, how many viewers we have. Like, I can tell you how many Facebook group people we have from the podcast is like 23,000. And that's just because it's been, like, really fun watching that grow. But I'm more of a, like, put my head down and work, and if I have process and procedure around it, the numbers will come, because I hate numbers.

Kristen [00:27:31]:

They stress me out where a lot of people need those numbers. Like my friend Randy, she's like, I gotta have the numbers. I'm like, okay, I can't. So I'm just like, I just want to work, do good, and hope it all makes sense.

Marina [00:27:44]:

Oh, that's good. Yeah. Okay, so to wrap this up, because I don't want to go too long, we're at about 30 minutes. What is something that you want someone to do that's listened to this today? They've heard your journey. They've heard what you do. How do you want them to plug in.

Kristen [00:27:57]:

To what I do or just in general? Yeah. Follow me on Instagram. Message me. I would love to hear any takeaways that you have. I always think that that's the best thing you can do. If you're listening to somebody speak or listen to a podcast, send me a message. Tell me if there's any way I impacted you, and if I can help you with anything, because I'm here for you.

Marina [00:28:17]:

Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so we do a fun, rapid fire to end every episode. So what is your Starbucks order?

Kristen [00:28:24]:

Oh, I don't like Starbucks, but if I have to go, it's a cold, foam, cold brew.

Marina [00:28:28]:

Okay. Yep. Do you have a preference of another coffee company?

Kristen [00:28:32]:

I go to Pascheto here locally. I like Starbucks is so, like, chemical tasting. I don't like it.

Marina [00:28:39]:

Yeah, it's. And it's so much sugar. Okay, what do you make for dinner if it's last minute?

Kristen [00:28:44]:

Oh, chicken and rice. Always.

Marina [00:28:47]:

Yeah. Easy. Okay. What's your favorite? Go to department of target. Do you have a favorite designer?

Kristen [00:28:53]:

I don't.

Marina [00:28:54]:

You're just simple.

Kristen [00:28:55]:

Yeah, I don't. I barely go to target.

Marina [00:28:59]:

Good job. Okay, name a book or a podcast you'd recommend to the show and why.

Kristen [00:29:03]:

Oh, I'm reading. I'm going to tell you guys, it's a guilty pleasure right now. It's called Court of thorns, and I speak. You read it?

Marina [00:29:12]:

What am I reading? Mist and fury right now.

Kristen [00:29:14]:

Me too. Yes. Oh, I love that. Okay, so, yeah, I could tell you all the workbooks, which, if I have to go workbook, I'm going to say traction, because I'm reading that right now and I feel like, holy crap, why have I not been, like, more focused on that? Traction is fantastic, but quarter thorns, if you're just wanting a good, enjoyable book.

Marina [00:29:32]:

Yes. And we've gone through traction as a team leader. I used to manage the real estate team for the last four years, and so the whole EOS platform is amazing when you're organizing so many different pods of people, like, incredible. So. Absolutely. So TikTok or Instagram is the next question. But we know your instagram, so what is your handle? One more time so they can go look you up.

Kristen [00:29:51]:

Hey, Kristen Cantrell. So h e y. And then my name.

Marina [00:29:55]:

Awesome. Well, this was so good, and I really hope it was just that. Meet cute for people to discover you, follow your journey, get plugged in, especially for wherever those communities are nationwide, and hopefully we have one coming to wherever they are soon. That's really exciting.

Kristen [00:30:08]:

Yeah, I would love that. It's been so great talking to you.

Marina [00:30:12]:

Thank you so much. We'll see you soon. Bye.

This week Marina sits down with real estate expert, Julie Bratton, to delve into the intricacies of building wealth through real estate investments with a focus on 1031 exchanges.

Learn what it means to defer taxes through 1031 exchanges, including common mistakes to avoid, crucial timelines, and property identification rules. Julie offers expert advice on selling old or dilapidated properties to reinvest in newer, high-value constructions for better estate planning and rental appreciation.

The episode also touches on the impact of the pandemic on commercial real estate and various financing strategies for investors. Julie sheds light on the importance of starting the property search early, the process, costs involved, and the nuances between residential and commercial exchanges. Whether you’re a seasoned investor or new to real estate, this episode offers invaluable advice to optimize your investment portfolio and defer taxes.

Julie Bratton

E: jbratton@or1031.com

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

Newsletter: https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/opt-in

Listen to Work Like A Mother

Apple

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Or any of your favorite platforms!

Transcript:

Julie Bratton [00:00:00]:

So let's say your mom got this property and it was worth 300,000, like, 100 years ago, and now she's maybe getting up there in age, and she's like, you know, honey, why don't I just give it to you? You can take care of it. And now it's worth, like, 1.4 prices today versus the prices in three years from now are going to be very different.

Marina [00:00:20]:

Do you have any advice for someone that's trying to time the market or, like, trying to really find that special property? Like, what do you tell them?

Julie Bratton [00:00:26]:

First of all, when somebody puts a property on the market, you should start really looking. Then take that listing period in that escrow period to really go shopping. Only real mistake. Two mistakes, I guess. And I don't know if this is the first one's a mistake. They don't start looking early enough.

Marina [00:00:40]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:00:40]:

They really get stressed out.

Marina [00:00:41]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:00:42]:

And secondly, when they identify property, they have to put the correct addresses down.

Marina [00:00:54]:

All right. Today I'm so excited because I have the dear Julie Bratton here on the call, and we're just gonna talk about 1031 exchange. I initially met Julie, and I know I've known your name, but it was at the Nahelle presentation with Doctor Horton where you were talking about 1031 exchange opportunities. And as a realtor, I was like, I know a lot of this, but I forgot it, or, like, it's just not relevant sometimes when you don't think of it all the time. And it's such an incredible tool to use as a homeowner in the future. So we're going to do some myth busting and just a little bit of basics, but, Julie, hello. Welcome. Hi.

Julie Bratton [00:01:27]:

Thanks for having me.

Marina [00:01:28]:

I'm so excited to see you. Real quick, before we dive in, how did you get involved with 1031 exchange? Like, what was your career path to doing this?

Julie Bratton [00:01:35]:

Oh, my gosh, that's so funny. Well, I don't. I've done a lot of things, yeah. But I have a degree in interior design from San Diego State, and I moved to Hawaii years ago. And I thought, long story short, I could get into real estate. You know, I have the vision or whatever. So I started selling real estate, I think, in 95, the beginning of 94. So I started my career doing that.

Julie Bratton [00:02:00]:

And, you know, the market was up and down. I was like, what should I do? So I, at that point, became a transaction coordinator for the top producers at the company that I was working for. So I learned a ton there. And then a type an old republic title scooped me up we need a program like that. So I did that for a little bit, and then exchange came out, and I was like, I can do this because I knew how to sell real estate. I know title and escrow, so I kind of fell into it. And that was 23 years ago.

Marina [00:02:28]:

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. So you've been. You're the pro. You're the island pro. Guaranteed. Like no one else knows it. Like you.

Julie Bratton [00:02:34]:

I hope so. It's a lot. I mean, everybody has a story, but the rules are still the same. So it's just interesting how to gather information and get people on the right track.

Marina [00:02:44]:

Yeah, for sure. And I think one of the biggest assets you have is that experience, because every situation is going to be different, and you've helped so many different families navigate those differences. And so when you're an emergency, it's like, who you gonna call? You're gonna call Julie. She's gonna help you, but hopefully we catch it before it's an emergency.

Julie Bratton [00:02:59]:

Yes. Yeah. No emergencies. If we can help.

Marina [00:03:02]:

Okay, so give us the rundown. What is 1031 exchange.

Julie Bratton [00:03:06]:

Okay, so an exchange is a way to defer paying capital gains tax, and it's just for the sale and purchase of properties held for investment or for productive use in a business or trade. I guess that's the textbook definition. So, for example, personal residences don't qualify. It has to be investment for investment. And you have to do this within, you know, a specific period of time. But I do think a lot of times people say, okay, I'm going to do an exchange, sell my investment property, and buy a property I'm going to live in. When you can't do that right away. So it has to be investment for investment.

Julie Bratton [00:03:41]:

I mean, no one says you have to hold it for investment forever, but, you know, upfront, your intent needs to be to hold for investment.

Marina [00:03:47]:

Yeah. Okay, so run us through that timeline. Let's say we're ready. Is it when we close it, the clock starts on selling the home or when you start.

Julie Bratton [00:03:54]:

Yes.

Marina [00:03:55]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:03:55]:

Yeah. So an exchange needs to be set up before the escrow closes. Like, put it this way, nothing can close without an exchange being set up. So, you know, what do I do? I got a copy of the contract and the title report, and I draft exchange documents. Escrow gets everything set. But the day of closing is critical because escrow is going to disperse money. I mean, if they give the money to the client, the client's toast. No exchange.

Julie Bratton [00:04:20]:

They're gonna pay taxes. They're gonna do an. Yeah, if they're gonna do an exchange. The funds come to us and we hold them until they're ready to buy the replacement property. So, yes, the clock starts ticking the day they close.

Marina [00:04:31]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:04:32]:

And here's the clock. They have 45 days from the day of closing to identify in writing what they're gonna buy.

Marina [00:04:39]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:04:40]:

And 180 days to close on it. So the 45 days is included in the 180. They don't get 45 and then an additional 180. Yeah. Day counts. So, for example, a 45 day lands on Easter Sunday. They still need to identify by midnight of Easter Sunday. If the 180 days lands on a holiday or a weekend, let's say Christmas, they might have to close on the 179th day or the 178th day.

Julie Bratton [00:05:07]:

So there's no extensions unless we're a victim of a natural disaster.

Marina [00:05:12]:

Okay. Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:05:13]:

That the government. The government recognized. Like the Lahaina fires.

Marina [00:05:16]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:05:17]:

They put out, they gave them an extension.

Marina [00:05:18]:

So let's say we mess up and we miss the timeline. They have to pay capital gains tax.

Julie Bratton [00:05:23]:

Yep.

Marina [00:05:23]:

That's what it is. Okay. Your ten, a lot on your neck. Like, what is the capital gains tax for someone selling?

Julie Bratton [00:05:30]:

So it depends on their tax bracket. But you have federal, that's 15, 20% depending on your bracket. You have the state tax, seven and a quarter and above. Then there's depreciation recapture, that's taxed at 25%. And then the 3.8 affordable care tax, if that applies to you. So it adds up quickly. So that's probably the number one reason why people do exchanges. They just do not want to pay.

Marina [00:05:52]:

Yeah. And so I think the roadmap of this is to use this over and over and over. Maybe you're starting with a condo, but then you can get up to a multi million dollar, if not multi gen, property. And that's cash flowing major over the years. But then eventually you're going to have to pay capital gains tax. So what does that look like at the end of the road? Do people put it in?

Julie Bratton [00:06:11]:

Well, okay, that's a good question. A little bit. Yes. There are a lot of variations in an exchange. So you can sell one property and buy three, you can sell two properties and buy one. I mean, there's a lot of very. I'm just using those numbers. But you can.

Julie Bratton [00:06:25]:

There's so many variations. But again, it's a deferral of tax, not a getaway from paying tax forever. So you can continue to defer, defer, defer until you pass away. Then your kids or whoever is inheriting your property, inherits it at a step up in basis, which is great. They don't inherit the capital gain burden, they just pretty much get these properties. But some people do exchange, exchange, exchange into something they eventually want to live in. If they make it their forever home again, fine, you pass away, your kids inherit it. Or you can prorate, you could take advantage of the personal residence exemption and your investment property after a certain amount of time.

Julie Bratton [00:07:07]:

So there's a formula. So if you outright sell the personal residence, you're not going to get 100% of your 250 or 500. It's a prorated formula, but at least you can take advantage of a little bit of both. But you'll have to pay taxes on the difference. And if you just outright sell, you're going to pay taxes. So let's say you did exchange, exchange, exchange, and then now you have this one property and you're like, I'm going to sell it. I'm taking a loss, or I don't want to be a landlord anymore. I'm tired of this.

Julie Bratton [00:07:36]:

I'm just going to sell. If they outright sell, then they're going to go back to the first property they did an exchange with because that followed, that just follows them around. Some people think, oh, I'm just getting out because I'm not. This is, you know, not so great right now, or I'm taking a loss or, I don't want to be a landlord. They have amnesia. They forget that they did five exchanges into it.

Marina [00:07:59]:

Okay, and you're paying the tax on all five at the end. Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:08:03]:

You're going back and calculating.

Marina [00:08:05]:

Okay, so this is why.

Julie Bratton [00:08:06]:

Well, not you and others, but I.

Marina [00:08:09]:

Mean, there is strategy to this. It's not just like Willy nilly, whenever I feel like it or whatever, like you do need to know your numbers and have an exit plan at the end of the road. What is the best situation? It's to have it be inherited to your kids. You don't have to.

Julie Bratton [00:08:24]:

Well, yeah, so if you. I. It's my understanding, and, you know, the law can change and I can't get tax advice, but it's my understanding it's better, obviously, to inherit property because you get it at a new basis. The step up. If you give the property to your kids while you're alive, they have your basis. Okay, so let's say, you know, your mom got this property and it was worth 300,000, like a hundred years ago, and now she's, you know, maybe getting up there in age and she's like, you know, honey, why don't I just give it to you, you can take care of it. And now it's worth like 1.4.

Marina [00:08:58]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:08:58]:

So now she gives it to you, it's worth 1.4. She passes away or you want to sell it, your basis is really her. 300.

Marina [00:09:06]:

Wow. Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:09:08]:

So you get the step up.

Marina [00:09:10]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:09:10]:

Yeah. So it's step up if you can, in my opinion. But, you know, everybody's financial plan is unique.

Marina [00:09:19]:

Can you take two investment properties and then roll it into one exchange for a bigger property or it has to be.

Julie Bratton [00:09:25]:

Yes, absolutely. People do that all the time. So you can sell two properties to buy one. Okay, let's say you are selling two properties, 500 each. The replacement property would need to be equal to or greater than a million dollars if you want to have 100% deferral. And when you sell two to buy one, you go off the clock, the timeframes of which the first property sells.

Marina [00:09:46]:

Got it. Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:09:47]:

So you'll start the 4580 days. So the second one just needs to close in time. The 45 days isn't really going to matter because you know what you're going to buy because you identified it in the first 45 days, but it has to close in time to make your closing date.

Marina [00:10:01]:

Yeah.

Marina [00:10:02]:

Hey, ladies, real quick. If you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're smiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm, mostly. And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantom leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you.

Marina [00:10:43]:

So if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level.

Marina [00:10:59]:

Let's dive back in. As far as people worried about finding the replacement property, like, 45 days is kind of a tight timeline, especially if you have a high criteria list. Do you have any advice for someone that's trying to time the market or, like, trying to really find that special property? Like, what do you tell them?

Julie Bratton [00:11:15]:

Okay, well, I do have a little bit of advice on that because recently, I'm changing my stories up a little bit or my examples. So, first of all, when somebody puts a property on the market, they should start really looking then. So take that listing period and that escrow period to really go shopping. You know, weed out the areas, the properties, the projects, the islands, the states they like and they don't like. So when they're in there 45 days, they're not really stressed out, because, yeah, if you wait till day 145 days can be really super stressful. So, you know, start shopping early and look around. The other thing I am noticing that kind of gets in people's way is they're looking for perfect.

Marina [00:11:59]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:12:00]:

And remember, it's just an investment property. Okay? You're not going to live there. You're not going to marry it. You're not stuck with it. I mean, of course, disclaimer, don't buy a piece of junk. But if you had to make a lateral move just to defer paying the capital gains tax, do it, you know, hold on to it for a year or so, and if you still don't like it, you can always sell it again and get into something you really want when it becomes available or when things calm down. But, I mean, I have people every once in a while, be like, I'm just gonna pay my taxes. I can't find anything.

Julie Bratton [00:12:28]:

And I had this one lady say that. She said, I'm so picky, I can't find anything. And I said, well, why are you so picky? You're not gonna marry the property. She wasn't planning on living in it.

Marina [00:12:37]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:12:37]:

Eventually down the line, and I said, you know, make a lateral move. Don't pay taxes on 200,000. She was like, okay, I'll think about it. And then on the 45th day, she called, and she identified something, and she bought it. Like, she was kind of getting in her own way. She was looking. She didn't realize she was looking for perfect. What does she care as long as it, you know, works for her? It pays for her.

Julie Bratton [00:13:02]:

It. It serves its purpose. It's great.

Marina [00:13:05]:

Yeah, yeah. Don't get in your own way, okay. I feel like there's so many people who are sitting on these properties and they want to move, but they just don't know how to make the move. What advice do you have for them? Where they're just like, they've had it for 20 years. There might not even be on the island. Like, why should they sell? Or, you know, whatever.

Julie Bratton [00:13:22]:

It's just getting up, you know, is it an old property? Is it dilapidated? Does it need a lot of maintenance? Is it still working for you the way it used to?

Marina [00:13:30]:

It's 20 years old condition.

Julie Bratton [00:13:34]:

Yeah. I mean, I. For me, I could look at it as doing estate planning. You know, sell that old property that you've owned for 20 years and buy a few new condos or buy a few new houses, one for each kid or something. I mean, do some estate planning.

Marina [00:13:48]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:13:48]:

I mean, your kids probably don't want that old and dilapidated property anyway.

Marina [00:13:55]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:13:55]:

So, you know, it's giving your investment properties a facelift and hopefully your pocketbook. And then. And also because you're not paying any, for any more deferred maintenance, you're getting into something that's newer and fresher and more desirable and people pay more rent for that.

Marina [00:14:11]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:14:11]:

People take pride in. In their properties.

Marina [00:14:14]:

That's true. And let's kind of roll into that. So if you were to buy new construction, you have one year builder warranty and then a lot of other things are covered for a while, too. So you're getting nothing. No repairs needed. Usually in the first couple of years, the rental value is way, way higher in new construction. Appreciation value is way, way higher in new construction. Like, it's just win on win on win.

Marina [00:14:33]:

So it's like, silly, but I just feel like for some reason everyone's sitting on the bench. Like, I don't feel like anyone's making the move to do a 1031 exchange to new construction, or at least I haven't heard of it, so.

Julie Bratton [00:14:43]:

Well, I think the problem. The problem with that is the new construction. If it's not, if it's new right now, then, yeah, they should just do it. But if it's like one of those new projects that are going to come up in 2025 or 26 or 27, all of those, they're probably timing the sale of their relinquished property. So they sell that and they can close on that new project in 180 days. But I think they're stuck on. They have to put the down payment down today.

Marina [00:15:11]:

Oh, yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:15:13]:

So, you know, they get that down payment back in an exchange. So let's say I put down my own out of pocket deposit today for a new project.

Marina [00:15:22]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:15:23]:

And now down the line, it's going to be done at, let's say, the end of 2026. I'm going to get my loan by the project. I can be refunded for my out of pocket deposits as soon as my relinquished property sells. I'm good. You're going to take those proceeds, do an exchange, replace your out of pocket money. You get that money back. I feel like people think the money's just going to be gone.

Marina [00:15:45]:

Yeah. But it's just.

Julie Bratton [00:15:47]:

It's not going to be gone.

Marina [00:15:48]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:15:49]:

And like you said, there's, like, zero carrying costs, and yet you have built in appreciation.

Marina [00:15:56]:

Yeah. What's crazy with those build is you're getting the price of 2024, but you don't, like, own it until 2026. What do you think the market's done in those two years? That property value has already gone up. I think that's a huge home run for people. Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:16:08]:

Yes, I know that. And actually, I'm delving into that myself for the first time, buying into a new project. And I'm like, you know, the prices today versus the prices in three years from now are going to be very different. Yes. So getting into it now was really important to me.

Marina [00:16:28]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:16:30]:

Cross my fingers. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Marina [00:16:32]:

That's exciting. Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:16:34]:

But I think people don't pull the trigger because they don't want to spend the money today, but they're going to end up spending the money later and it's going to be more expensive. So it's hard.

Marina [00:16:44]:

Yeah. You're going to be kicking yourself. Okay. Talk to me about the cost of a 1031 exchange. What's, like, the closing transfer fee, all of that, like, from title and exchange.

Julie Bratton [00:16:53]:

So it's fairly easy. I mean, you're going to have your normal 1031. I'm sorry. You're going to have your more. Your normal escrow fees. And usually when you go to escrow, fees are usually about 1% of the sales price. And I think the escrow company gives you a 30% discount on title and escrow if you're an investor. So that's always nice.

Julie Bratton [00:17:10]:

But my fee is the 1031 fee is usually $950 when you sell the relinquished property.

Marina [00:17:16]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:17:17]:

And $575 when you buy the replacement property. So you pay as you go. For example, if you don't find anything, obviously we're not going to charge you. So that's like, nothing compared to what you're going to pay in taxes. Like, yeah.

Marina [00:17:31]:

Okay. Do you see any common mistakes or like whoopsies that people are making with 1031 exchanges?

Julie Bratton [00:17:38]:

The only real mistake. Two mistakes, I guess. And I don't know if this is the first one's a mistake. They don't start looking early enough.

Marina [00:17:44]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:17:45]:

So they really get stressed out.

Marina [00:17:47]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:17:47]:

And secondly, when they identify property. They have to put the correct addresses down. I'm not kidding. If they put the wrong address down. They can't make any changes to their identification notice after the 45 days.

Marina [00:18:01]:

Yikes.

Julie Bratton [00:18:02]:

So if the address is wrong and it's after the 45 days. I cannot fund it. And they'll pay taxes.

Marina [00:18:11]:

Yeah. That sucks.

Julie Bratton [00:18:13]:

I mean that's. It's just so weird. But it happens.

Marina [00:18:16]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:18:16]:

It happens once in a while. And you know the IR's does not have wiggle room for mistake on that.

Marina [00:18:22]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:18:23]:

They just don't.

Marina [00:18:24]:

Okay. So we're shopping for properties. Hypothetically. We're just emailing them to you. As we are looking at them and considering them. Or how does it work?

Julie Bratton [00:18:31]:

Okay. So I give you guys an identification notice.

Marina [00:18:34]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:18:35]:

And you're going to list the addresses. The complete addresses. Including the unit number of what you think you're going to buy. You don't have to have an accepted offer when you identify. But it has to be on your list. So I'll give you the identification notice. And I need it by midnight of the 45th day. And so there's two ways to identify on that list.

Julie Bratton [00:18:54]:

There's the three property rule. Where you can identify just up to three.

Marina [00:18:58]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:18:59]:

You might only want to buy one. But a lot of people put backups down. Just because they're not sure what they're going to get. So just because. Which is fine. I think that's the most common way. If you wanted to identify more than three. So four or more you can.

Julie Bratton [00:19:13]:

But the fair market value of all of them combined. Cannot exceed double or 200%. Same thing of what you sell the relinquished property for. So if you sell something for a million. And you want to identify four or five or ten. That whole list cannot exceed one penny over 2 million. It's like you can't go crazy and identify all of couple and pick one later.

Marina [00:19:34]:

Yes. Got it.

Julie Bratton [00:19:36]:

So identification. I mean, there's a lot of gray area and exchanges. But there's also some black and white. And identifying timely and properly is black and white.

Marina [00:19:46]:

Yes.

Julie Bratton [00:19:47]:

It's really important that it's done timely and properly.

Marina [00:19:49]:

Yeah. Good to know. Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt.

Marina [00:19:52]:

And I hope you're enjoying this episode of the work like a mother podcast. Real quick. I just want to remind you guys, if you are worried about missing an episode, you don't have to worry anymore because we are creating a weekly email that's going to go out automatically every single time there's a brand new episode. And this email is going to have everything you need to know about this week's featured guests. It's going to have all of the.

Marina [00:20:13]:

Links and the resources that we're going.

Marina [00:20:14]:

To talk about in this episode. So you don't have to go around and fumble through the show notes.

Marina [00:20:18]:

But it's gonna be served in your.

Marina [00:20:19]:

Inbox every single week. So if you guys want that access, be sure to click below one time in the show notes today. Sign up for that email and then you'll never have to worry about it in the future. And bonus, if you really love this, we'd love it. If you share this with a friend, give us a review on whatever platform you're listening to and we'll continue to bring new episodes and new information that's gonna help you level up your life every single week.

Marina [00:20:42]:

Do you find that when people are buying the next property that they're just bringing in cash to make up the difference in the new price? Or are they doing loans? Like, what do you see most commonly?

Julie Bratton [00:20:51]:

It's a combination. I think if people have cash, they're probably using their cash because, you know, the lending environment is a little bit sticky right now. But if they can get their loans, they'll get their loans. Which is a good comment for you to bring up because in an exchange, when you sell the relinquished property, everything you read online, even my brochures, the. The. It says you need to replace the mortgage that you had on the relinquished property in the new property. And that translates into, you have to get another mortgage. You don't have to get another mortgage.

Julie Bratton [00:21:30]:

You can replace it with cash. Yeah, but I think a lot of people take that for face value, that it needs to be a mortgage because it says you need to replace the mortgage. You don't get debt relief.

Marina [00:21:41]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:21:41]:

So people are like, I can't get a mortgage. Or maybe I'm retired and I can't afford, you know, I can't get a mortgage now. Well, okay, well, you can go to the bank and bring in cash if you want. You just have to replace it.

Marina [00:21:51]:

Got it. Okay. That's helpful.

Julie Bratton [00:21:55]:

One other thing. One other thing that I could have brought up earlier is like kind when you do an exchange, and remember I said investment property for investment, it also needs to be like, kind property. And like, kind property is any combination of real property that also translates a little bit funny to the client. It translates as. It's as if it needs to be condo for condo, single family. For single family. Vacant land. For vacant land.

Julie Bratton [00:22:20]:

And although all of those examples are perfectly fine, it's any combination of real property.

Marina [00:22:25]:

Got it.

Julie Bratton [00:22:27]:

So you can sell a condo and buy a commercial building. You can sell a commercial building and buy houses if you want. As long as you're using them for investment, you're good.

Marina [00:22:34]:

Yeah, I mean, the world's wide open. You can get into so many fun things. Like, I feel like could be where it's at. Do you do a lot of commercial ones?

Julie Bratton [00:22:43]:

I do, yeah, I do a lot of commercial.

Marina [00:22:45]:

What's like, pros and cons of switching from residential to commercial? I don't know anything about the commercial world.

Julie Bratton [00:22:55]:

I don't know. I think you just look at the numbers a little bit differently. But it's still real estate as far as the exchange is concerned. You're still deferring the capital gains tax just like you would a residential one. But commercial, there's a lot more avenues you have to look at than I thought.

Marina [00:23:10]:

In the commercial zone, like, is the appreciation just as fast as residential?

Julie Bratton [00:23:16]:

You know, that's a good question. I don't know the answer to that, per se. But on a commercial building, you want to make sure all your spaces are leased out. So the world has changed since the pandemic.

Marina [00:23:30]:

Yes.

Julie Bratton [00:23:31]:

So does that lessen the value and the. Of the commercial building? Probably, but I'm thinking the cap rates are really important. Yeah, but if you can. If you have a good house or a good condo, and it's making, you know, making a lot of money, you know that it's going to be rented.

Marina [00:23:49]:

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Like, commercial space and wine, I. And there's like a tire shop for sale. And I'm like, I wonder what that would be like. Or there's another one that's, um. It's an auto body shop, but people are looking for those all the time because so many warehouses don't allow car areas. And so it's just interesting to think.

Julie Bratton [00:24:05]:

Well, that would be good.

Marina [00:24:06]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:24:06]:

But, like, the first one that you mentioned, like, why isn't it surviving? Is it the business itself or is it the location? Is it the property? You know, what's the maintenance fee? You know, what's all of that stuff? All matters. And I think on commercial financing, the lending is different. The lending requirements are a little bit different.

Marina [00:24:26]:

Yes, for sure. And the rates are way cheaper too. But the income requirements are different. Yep.

Julie Bratton [00:24:32]:

Yeah. So, you know, you have the smaller or the newer or the younger, if that's what you want to call it, investors moving up into commercial, and then you have the commercial people maybe doing some estate planning and getting into residential and 1021 exchange is a great way to do some estate planning.

Marina [00:24:48]:

Yeah, that's awesome.

Julie Bratton [00:24:49]:

Also, besides building wealth, you're building wealth for your family or you're building wealth for you. I mean, it goes both ways, so it's pretty interesting.

Marina [00:24:57]:

That's true for the people who want to live in it eventually. What's the rule? How long does it have to be an investment until they can actually occupy?

Julie Bratton [00:25:05]:

There is no rule or law on how long you have to hold investment property for investment. So just know that it's all about your intent. Did you intend to hold it for investment? And if you were audited, you should prove it. I mean, I like to say at least a year. Yeah. Because you can clearly show on one year's tax returns your intent, how you reported one year of income to the IR's. How are they going to argue that? But really the writing, and I only like to say that the right answer is the longer the better. So it's not measured by days, weeks, months or years.

Marina [00:25:31]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:25:32]:

So, okay. Yeah.

Marina [00:25:34]:

That's helpful. Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:25:36]:

Yeah. I mean, I have people that say, oh my gosh, my life changed. I had to move into it. Okay.

Marina [00:25:40]:

Okay.

Julie Bratton [00:25:41]:

That's between you and your CPA. But upfront, it needs to be held for investment.

Marina [00:25:47]:

Yes. Yep. And same thing for the VA loan or whatever. Like, you have to have intent to live there for one year. Life can happen. But that makes sense. Okay. I feel like this is really good.

Marina [00:25:56]:

Do we miss any area that you feel like common faqs or people might want to know? No.

Julie Bratton [00:26:01]:

Well, one thing that seems to be very popular right now, again, everybody is stressed out about finding a replacement property because of the inventory that we're in. There is a reverse exchange.

Marina [00:26:13]:

Oh.

Julie Bratton [00:26:14]:

Where you buy first and then sell.

Marina [00:26:16]:

Yes.

Julie Bratton [00:26:17]:

It's more expensive to do it and you have to have cash on hand to do it because you have to be able to buy it. There's a lot more involved in it. But you can buy first and then sell. It's called a reverse exchange. And that timeframes are in reverse also. So you would have to sell your relinquished property in 180 days. But some people are liking or warming up to the idea because they're so stressed out about finding a replacement property.

Marina [00:26:44]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:26:44]:

They rather just find one first because they always know they can sell a relinquished.

Marina [00:26:48]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:26:48]:

So as long as they don't mind the fees on that, they can do it. It's just, you know, if from a fee perspective, if you can sell first and then buy, you should do it.

Marina [00:26:56]:

Yes. Got it. It's more like if you're a worrywart, then you can buy first. We get it. This is a dumb question, but you can do a 1031 exchange in between states, right? It doesn't have to be like, I have to sell Hawaii to buy Hawaii.

Julie Bratton [00:27:09]:

Yes. Good question. Anywhere in the US. The US. Virgin Islands and Guam.

Marina [00:27:16]:

Cool.

Julie Bratton [00:27:17]:

Just not Puerto Rico. And I don't know why they left that out, but. Yeah. So foreign sellers can do exchanges, but all the properties that they sell and buy still need to be within the United States.

Marina [00:27:28]:

Got it. Okay. Yeah, no, I think this is really good to, like, trigger some thought provoking ideas for people who maybe have heard of the term but never knew exactly what it was or how to do it. We'll make sure that the editors will throw in here your contact information at the end, too. So we'll get your little picture up and all of that. But I think people just need to have the conversation. They need to call you and say, hey, Julie, this is my property. What does it look like to do 1031 exchange?

Julie Bratton [00:27:52]:

Yeah. I mean, there's no. There's no harm in asking about it, learning about it, planning for it for the future. I mean, you just don't know. But it is one of the last tax loopholes we have, and it's. It's good. It's really good. And everybody wants a piece of Hawaii.

Marina [00:28:08]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:28:09]:

Like, maybe you have clients that own property here, but they have family members on the mainland that are dying to get here. Okay. They sell that property or their investment property, buy, doing exchange, come into Hawaii, rent that out for however long, and then, hey, they move here one day. You know, there's just so many.

Marina [00:28:26]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:28:27]:

So many ways to make that happen. But I do like the new construction situation.

Marina [00:28:32]:

Yeah. I think it's a home run. It's just people got to be open minded to it, so.

Julie Bratton [00:28:36]:

I know. And I remember when I. When I talked to you at that. That presentation, my. My light bulbs were going off, too. I was like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, you have a lot of. You have a lot of great ideas.

Julie Bratton [00:28:46]:

I was just like, I came home and I was like, we should do that.

Marina [00:28:51]:

Yeah. Literally right after that we put ours for rent, our two bed with a bonus room, and we had five applications within three days and it rented at 3600 for a two bed. I was like, oh, that's just. Yeah, easy. Crazy.

Julie Bratton [00:29:05]:

I mean, those stories, you have to tell that story more often.

Marina [00:29:09]:

Yeah.

Julie Bratton [00:29:09]:

Because I don't think people realize how easy it is. I shouldn't. I'm using that word life lightly, but easy it is to build wealth with real estate.

Marina [00:29:21]:

Yep.

Julie Bratton [00:29:22]:

It's really easy.

Marina [00:29:24]:

Anyways, we just need the right people to link arms and we're going to take you to the finish line.

Julie Bratton [00:29:28]:

Exactly. Yeah, exactly. Sounds good. Well, thanks for having me.

Marina [00:29:32]:

Yes, absolutely. This was fun. So again, we'll push out all your information so people can get to contact. I think you also just share so much. You have these brochures and you have information. So when we have listings, I'll make sure that we get little flyers from you. That'll be really helpful, too. Thank you.

Julie Bratton [00:29:49]:

Thanks. I look forward to working with you.

Marina [00:29:50]:

We got to get together. Okay. Bye.

Join hosts Shivani Peterson and Marina on the 'Work Like A Mother' podcast as they delve into the challenges and triumphs of entrepreneurship in the ever-evolving real estate industry. From navigating market uncertainties to building a successful team and balancing personal and professional life, these insightful discussions offer valuable insights and practical advice. Explore the importance of financial strategy, community building, and personal branding in achieving business success. Dive into inspiring success stories, expert tips on investing, and empowering conversations on breaking through mental roadblocks. Tune in for engaging conversations, actionable strategies, and a dose of motivation for mothers on their entrepreneurial journey. Discover the secrets to thriving in the real estate world and creating a recession-proof business in today's competitive market.

Mentioned in this episode:

This is How It Always Is, Laurie Frankel

Shivani Peterson

https://www.shivanipeterson.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/shivpeter/

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

Newsletter: https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/worklikeamother

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Transcript:

Shivani [00:00:00]:

Having a team, though, has, like, been the hardest challenge of being an entrepreneur for me. What about finding the right people and scaling? When you build a business in real estate, it's a lot of blood, sweat, tears. Time away from your family to create those relationships and then to trust other people with your business is really hard. I continue to struggle, I think, with having a team because if you are an entrepreneur, you have a different commitment to your work and to your business. It's somebody who wants to be an employee, right?

Marina [00:00:27]:

100%, yeah. It's a really tricky delegate balance of, like, sharing behind the curtain so they understand why you do what you do. But it's so challenging because we know as the owners and like, the leaders how hard it is and, like, the weight that's on you back here. But I think with our team and stuff like these agents that I'm mentoring, you've got to want it.

Shivani [00:00:44]:

If you want to be an entrepreneur, you need to think about why you're doing this and what the end goal for you really would be, because you'll be able to map the steps out to get there so much better than you think you can. If you're not sure what your next steps are, I think it's because you're not really sure what you really want.

Marina [00:01:03]:

All right. I am so excited for today's show because I have a really cool woman, actually, that I've been following for quite a while. So I officially discovered Shivani at the forward event a couple of years ago, which I don't even know if she knows this, but she got on stage and she talked real, real, like, she talked motherhood and she talked, you know, this successful career and how do we juggle it all? And we really just needed a couple of key pillars to do this thing called life. And I think she comes from this place of experience and that's really why I wanted to bring her on the show today. So she's been a mortgage advisor for eleven years. She's the founder of the mind over markets coaching program. She's a mom to three kids, so she's got her hands full. A nine year old, a six year old and a two year old.

Marina [00:01:41]:

And she's also a speaker. And so I'm so excited to bring you to the show. Shivani, welcome.

Shivani [00:01:45]:

Thank you so much for having me. How fun. I did not know that it was forward. Put me on your radar, but that was such a cool experience.

Marina [00:01:53]:

Yeah, absolutely. And you were nervous and it was so authentic and it was like, hey, we're just going to do this thing and then look at you since then. So you post a ton of video content, which your instagram has been really awesome to follow along with. And I think it's just a good. You're a good pillar of inspiration to people. Like, if I could put it simply, it's like you're showing up on the daily. You have figured out this batching concept that you don't have to, like, literally film every day, but you just film once every couple times, and then you get it out for the season. And that's the same way I rock and roll.

Marina [00:02:20]:

Like, there's no other way to do it. But one of the questions I asked you on our pre show was, are you living how you thought you would five years ago? So take me back to 2019. Like, what did you think was going to happen in 2024?

Shivani [00:02:31]:

So, in 2019, I was applying for grad school because I. And I'm in it. I'm four years into a two year graduate program to get my master's as a marriage and family therapist.

Marina [00:02:41]:

Okay.

Shivani [00:02:42]:

But in 2019, I'm applying to grad school. I'm thinking, okay, people fight about money in my office all the time. You know, um, realtors deal with it, lenders deal with it, but we're basically giving unqualified therapy all the time. So I thought, okay, I know that people have a fucked up relationship with money, and I want to try to help them get past it. So I apply to grad schools. I get in, and I am scheduled to start march of 2020. Pandemic hits and loan volume explodes. But I was able to do it because all social commitments were gone.

Shivani [00:03:19]:

All taking realtors to coffee or networking lunches or happy hours or after work events, all done. Workouts, gone. I was teaching bar classes at the time. Done. Studios closed. So if I had, you know, all I had to do was be ass in seat from 08:00 a.m. to 06:00 p.m. and I was able to close, like, 40 to 50 loans a month, take two classes at a time for grad school, and spend more time with my family than I had been before because there was no other commitments.

Shivani [00:03:51]:

It was amazing. The pandemic was a really tricky time for a lot of people, and now I'm learning a lot about the mental health impacts that we'll all be dealing with as a society for a long time. But me and my husband are always careful when we talk about it because it was actually a really amazing time for our family because he traveled a ton for work, and that got shut down immediately. And he was home with us, and we had an amazing nanny that was another anomaly. And she stayed in the house with the boys because we only had two back then, 40 hours a week. And I kept going to work and had, like, some pivotal years in my career.

Marina [00:04:25]:

Totally. And it's not you. You have a whole team, right?

Shivani [00:04:29]:

I do have a team. Now this, having a team, though, is, like, been the hardest challenge of being an entrepreneur for me. What about struggle with finding the right people and scaling and, you know, it's multifaceted in that you, when you build a business in real estate, it's a lot of blood, sweat, tears, time away from your family to create those relationships and then to trust other people with your business is really hard.

Marina [00:04:54]:

Oh, yeah.

Shivani [00:04:55]:

Sacrifices you made to earn that business, but also know it's only humanly possible for you to do so much. So I waited way too long to start a team. I continue to struggle, I think, with having a team because if you are an entrepreneur, you have a different commitment to your work and to your business than somebody who wants to be an employee.

Marina [00:05:15]:

Right. Yeah.

Shivani [00:05:16]:

Your mentality is so different. A lot of times I find it to be very lonely being in this position, and I can feel even disconnected from the people that I employ because they don't have the same level of pressure and they'll never know what it's like to be in my shoes. And I also feel like. Like I'm always here serving them. But at the same time, you need their help so much. Like, you need them to step up to the plate, too.

Marina [00:05:41]:

Yeah. It's a really tricky, delicate balance of, like, sharing behind the curtain so they understand why you do what you do, but then also keeping that, like, mom face on, right. Of, like, nope, we're charging ahead. This is this. But you can be freaking out behind the curtain, but your team can't know that, right? You gotta always charge forward. So I've helped manage a real estate team for the last four years, and I'm just currently, like, in this transition of going solo. Uh, but I, that's how I learned in this industry. I, like, got thrown into it through my leadership qualities and just being an entrepreneur.

Marina [00:06:09]:

And my guy was like, hey, you should lead the team. And I was like, okay, I'm not prepared, but just throw it into the fire. But it's so challenging because we know as the owners and, like, the leaders how hard it is and, like, the weight that's on you back here, but to keep everyone else inspired and motivated. It is like having more children sometimes.

Shivani [00:06:27]:

Uh, how do you do it? How do you keep them all inspired and motivated? And, I mean, this is one of the most difficult markets we've had. Yeah, I mean, it's for sure the most difficult market in my career. I have the unique, like, advantage of. My brothers have been in this for 22 years, so I saw them go through 2008, which was worse than this. But when you talk to veterans in the industry, they say these are the, you know, this is the second hardest period to that that they've ever seen.

Marina [00:06:53]:

Which is insane to me. It hasn't been that bad. Like, I've had the same number of transactions both years. So I'm like, okay, we're just going to keep going. Like, stay consistent.

Shivani [00:07:00]:

That's for you. Yeah, that's badass.

Marina [00:07:02]:

But I think with our team and stuff, like these agents that I'm mentoring, you've got to want it. That's what I keep telling them. Like, only you can show up every day. Only you can do the things. I can't force you to do anything. And so if I have a weekly mentor meeting and only one guy out of the six shows up, guess what? He's getting all the attention and everyone else, I'm like, I don't know what you're doing. So if you're going to make it right now, you have to want it and show up. That's all I can say.

Marina [00:07:25]:

We can't force anyone to do anything. Um, and the people that can be.

Shivani [00:07:28]:

A little bit too hard on people, though, for what? Like, you gotta want it. And, like, I'm pushing you. And I think the reason that I struggle so much as a team lead is I can push too hard. Like, come on, just do it. I don't know if you ever feel like this, but, like, when I'm, like, mentoring these younger loan officers who don't yet have a spouse and don't yet have kids, I, like, have to stop myself from saying, listen, do you know how many times a day I get inspired or have an idea and want to do something and have to tell myself, nope, Shivani can't do that. You can't take on one more thing. I'm like, and then I look at you and there's you. The world is your oyster.

Shivani [00:08:08]:

Just go do the things.

Marina [00:08:10]:

Yeah, no, it's so true. And it's almost like, you gotta hire people with kids because then they have that, like, I gotta get this done during these 2 hours. And that's my only time for the rest of the day, whereas when you have no other commitments, you're just like, do do.

Shivani [00:08:24]:

You're so spot on.

Marina [00:08:25]:

Yeah. Well, let's kind of roll into myth busting a little bit because my audience is mixed. So we have some people that are in the real estate industry, some that are just entrepreneurs or even want to be entrepreneurs, but lots of moms. And so let's kind of go into, if you're not in the industry, right. What is a big myth that a lot of people ask Los, they think that you sell interest rates, right? That's like a huge one. So talk to me about that. Like, how does the market work? How do you get your Pricing? Tell me more.

Shivani [00:08:52]:

Yeah, so I think a lot of people come to us thinking that they've already figured out most and they just need us to offer them an interest rate. And in reality, we have to find them a financing strategy. Like, we have to analyze the way they're spending money. We have to help them with their relationship with money. We have to organize their finances so that they could be approvable for a mortgage in the first place. One thing I've seen is that we may be doing a lot of deals, but every deal is harder than it's ever been before. It's harder to qualify people because people have made different choices with their money, post pandemic and in light of all this inflation. So I would say the biggest myth is that you think you're coming to just get an interest rate, but you're actually coming to like, get your finances, get, you're coming to get a financial colonoscopy.

Shivani [00:09:35]:

And at the end, hopefully you'll be better for it because we'll have figured out a lot of ways that we can optimize your finances and put you on a path towards some bigger goals.

Marina [00:09:43]:

Yeah, no, absolutely. And you guys really are that, like financial advisor to say, what do you want, like five years from now? What do you want a year from now? Because the first purchase or the second purchase isn't going to be it. Like, it's going to be the starter, it's going to be the entry point and the delayed gratification to just get something in. Like I always say, you just kind of plant the flag and then we have leverage after that. But right now, I'm seeing it all over. TikTok is like this affordability factor that it's the most expensive it's ever been to qualify for a home. Cost of living like in Hawaii, they just came out for 25. 2023 was $300,000 a year for a family of four, which is insanity.

Marina [00:10:18]:

Like, the average person isn't going to be doing that. Even if you have two full time spouse and spouses working, maybe multi generational, it's still so hard to hit 300. So I want to say affordability isn't fixed because your spending is flexible. And I think that's a huge part of what we see is just like, where is that fluff money going? People don't even know. Do you have any advice for that? Or, like, myth busting on affordability?

Shivani [00:10:41]:

Yeah, I really think that you got to look at where your disappearing money goes because I have met with, and I'm sure you have, too, so many people who didn't want to be house poor, they didn't want to buy in 2017, they didn't want to buy in 2020 because they wanted to still live their life. They still wanted to travel and go to music festivals and, you know, enjoy life. And I want that for you, too. I'm not Dave Ramsey. I'm not going to tell you to cut your starbucks to buy a home, but I think some of you guys should have been house poor. Like, I think you, the entire trajectory of your life would have been different if you missed a couple music festivals. Yeah, because.

Marina [00:11:14]:

Hey, ladies, real quick, if you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're smiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm, mostly. And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantic leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you. So if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to Marina Tol and tv, and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page.

Marina [00:12:07]:

And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level. Let's dive back in.

Shivani [00:12:12]:

Sure, a mortgage payment that's a couple hundred thousand dollars more than your rent feels like a nightmare. But let's sit down and let's analyze the money you get every month. And if we need to do it bi weekly, we can get that nitty gritty. Let's talk about the money you take home after contributing to your retirement and after paying taxes. And then let's look at the fixed expenses that I get to see on your credit report. Then let's look at the ones that I don't get to see, like childcare. What are you spending on that? What are you spending on groceries? What are you spending on gas? And then what's left, typically, is a couple hundred thousand, a couple hundred dollars a month. And when I ask them, where is this going? They go, it's the money that's disappearing in restaurants on the weekends.

Shivani [00:12:50]:

And I'm like, would you be okay with maybe diverting some of that to a higher housing expense if it could get you this kind of return on investment? And then you show them, and that's usually when I see the light bulb click for people is like, oh, this is much, much bigger than a place to live.

Marina [00:13:05]:

Mm hmm. Yep. And I would say one of the big myths, too, is, like, people think, okay, I'm going to buy this house, and I'm committing to 30 year mortgage. Like, it's forever going to be 30 years, and then I'm just going to refi. And it's going to be 40 years or whatever. Like, it just seems like we're never going to pay this freaking house off, but you have to switch and, like, put on the investor hat to say, actually, I'm not going to keep this. Someone else is going to pay the rent. I'm going to have two and three and four and five, and then those other properties help pay off my actual house that I'm living in.

Marina [00:13:30]:

And it's just, we have to keep painting the picture of, like, there is so much potential in this industry as an investor, as a homeowner. It's not about the home you live in. It's about the homes you collect, kind of. So I know you work with a lot of high powered females. Like, what would you say is, like, a good, like, how can we describe that woman who's doing that for someone who thinks that it's impossible? Or they're like, control freak. Like, I'll invest when or once I do this thing, then I'll invest. Like, how do we paint the picture that someone today can do it. What does it look like?

Shivani [00:14:00]:

It's so fun, because I have this group called the future is FEMA, where we empower women as real estate investors and we get to feature women doing so many on different, so many different journeys and so many different points in the journey. So I have a client who's 22. She bought her house last year in, you know, a very challenging market. Home prices were high, interest rates were at the highest they've been in a decade. And she bought a condo because she's a nurse and she knows that traveling nurses would rent the shit out of this place down the line. So she bought a condo. It wasn't hugely expensive. It works with her income.

Shivani [00:14:36]:

And then she moved into it. She's done some work on it, and next year she's going to start traveling and she's going to put traveling nurses in this thing as a short term rental. And even though the interest rates in the sevens, the cash flow on a short term rental, it's going to be amazing for her. And then she'll buy, when she's done traveling, after a year, she'll have the money for another down payment because travel nurses make more. And then she'll decide where she wants to take another, like, long term job as a nurse, and she'll buy a property there as a primary residence with the minimum down payment. Again, she'll already have one property in her rental portfolio, which you, a lot of times people only look at for the cash flow opportunity monthly. But a nurse is a wage earner and they don't have really any tax shelter. So the next best thing is to get into the tax advantages that will come from having a rental property.

Shivani [00:15:25]:

And if she gets really savvy about it and starts taking the real estate professional designation, she could take active losses against her active income from her rental portfolio. And I think that's the real american dream, is to live tax free. You know, the tax, the entire tax code was written for real estate investors. But I have a question for you. In that we know this, we work inside this and very intimately with people, but when we say it, I think everyone thinks we're just trying to sell something.

Marina [00:15:52]:

Yeah.

Shivani [00:15:52]:

Don't you wish that people could just, like, experience? Like, if there was a way that they could understand this from the inside, to know that this isn't a sales tactic, this is pivotal. This is life changing.

Marina [00:16:03]:

Yeah. Like when my clients walk away from owning a home for three years with 50,000 cash or plus, like Hawaii is the number one equity state in the nation. So by just holding something for three years, that's like insane leverage for the next property and the next one or whatever. Like, if you could, I would say, never sell a property in Hawaii, which isn't good advice as a listing agent. But I'm like, yes, you have to move sometimes and sell things, but if you can keep them long term, like, our market doubles every ten to twelve years, so it's insane. The opportunity is huge, but so often people are hung up on the monthly payment and they just don't see past that. Um, and so we've taken that, like, advice personally. We own two condos right now in the last two years that we purchased with the VA loan, which has been incredible.

Marina [00:16:44]:

Um, lived in each one, you know, each period. We moved three times, but it's like, it's a little bit of sacrifice. It's not going to be ideal. We squeezed our family of four into a one bedroom for a year, but we put the flag in the ground, right. We knew. Um, and so I think the more that we just share these stories that it is happening. Females are buying real estate today in 2024. They are doing it young, they are doing it with not a ton of experience, but it starts with asking questions from professionals.

Marina [00:17:12]:

Like, we see this all day, every day. So we could tell you a dozen stories of success, but if you're just scrolling and you're seeing a lot of negative Nancy news, then you're never going to take the first step and get off the bench. Like, that's the biggest thing. And you have to surround yourself with people who can actually get you there. So I remember in, like, 20. When was this? 2015? 2016. We were with the coast guard station in San Diego and we wanted to buy a house, but we just looked around and everything was 500,000. And we thought, this is impossible.

Marina [00:17:40]:

So we didn't even talk to anybody. We talked ourselves out of it, even though we spent months and months on zillow scrolling and, like, dreaming about it. We just didn't know what we didn't know. And it took us moving home to Hawaii, getting super frustrated with the housing market for me to actually get my real estate license, because I thought there must be some secret behind the curtain that I don't know about, and I'm going to figure it out to buy a house. And then, sure enough, it's not at all, but it's all the things in our head, all these roadblocks that we put up ourselves, so it's so true. Yep.

Shivani [00:18:08]:

Not just as men or women or as a certain generation. I think mental roadblocks are, like, the biggest challenge so many people face that they just. And when you do these. When you get stuck behind these mental roadblocks, I always explain it as, like, you're stuck in this figurative cul de sac, and you just keep spinning there. But the thing that sucks is when you're trapped in one of these cul de sacs, you waste so much brain space that could be used to get inspired about something that could change your life, or the most obvious solution could be right there, but you keep spinning around in indecision analysis. Paralysis, they call it crippled by indecision. And these mental roadblocks do so much harm. Like, people don't realize the ways they're holding them back.

Marina [00:18:52]:

Yeah, no. And you'll just. You'll be waiting two years and then watch the housing market continue to go up, and you're like, wait. If only I could have bought yesterday. Like, just take the first step. That's the biggest, like, push today. Um, okay, let's roll into, like, career wise. So I want to talk about who should become a loan officer if they're considering, like, lender versus realtor.

Marina [00:19:10]:

Like, I know you see the whole spectrum of lenders out there, and I see the same thing, like, who should. Who makes a good lender today in this market?

Shivani [00:19:19]:

You've got to really want it. Like, you've got. You've got to believe in what you sell, because otherwise, it's too hard. I coach loan officers all the time who believe they're just an interest rate. Well, then it becomes really hard to sell yourself when interest rates go up three points. If you believe that, you're really just your bank, like, I am just the face of this bank, this retail bank that's not going to work. You've got to believe in home ownership the way you and I do, that you get this hyped up talking about it. You got to believe in real estate investing.

Shivani [00:19:51]:

Like, the loan officers that I meet that don't personally invest in real estate, that invest in crypto instead or do the stock market. They're not as successful as the ones who can relate to their clients, who have drank this Kool aid and are playing it out every day in their own practice. That's when you should go into real estate, is if you believe in it yourself. And if you're considering being a lender, you've got to be financially responsible yourself. So clean up your own act before you can tell anyone else how to do it. And you've got to be a problem solver. You've got to want it so bad that you will find a needle in the haystack type of solution because almost every file is requiring that now.

Marina [00:20:32]:

Yeah, well, that's such a good point. And even once you've got the accepted offer, it's still like a lot of puzzle piecing going on behind the scenes that people don't understand. And so it's not just you, it's the processor, it's the underwriter. Like, there's this whole village that makes a loan go from acceptance to closing. And so I think, again, you gotta, like, surround yourself with people who have the experience and, like, find a really good mentor. If someone is looking for a mentor, do you have advice on how to find that in their local area? Like, it's so hard today. I feel like.

Shivani [00:20:59]:

I think it is, too. And I wonder what the shifts are going to be like. I wonder what you think about this coming out of the NAR lawsuit. Like, how do big boxes brokerages keep their hands in realtors commission so much when every dollar of that commission now is going to have to be, like, earned and outlined? And the realtors value proposition, very little of it comes from the big box brokerages brand, right?

Marina [00:21:24]:

Yeah.

Shivani [00:21:24]:

So I wonder how that changes the culture of our industry, especially for realtors looking to join bigger teams. Like how do those, how do those structures where there's so many hands in the pot of the money last the next few years when the pot's shrinking?

Marina [00:21:43]:

Yeah, I think they won't last. That's the issue. We're going to see a big fizzle out if the commission's getting split, split ten ways, and then all you have left is crumbs at the end of the day. Like, it just doesn't add up anymore. So team leaders are going to have to get super strategic. They're going to have to get super strong on their value. Add. Whatever they're offering them has to make sense.

Marina [00:22:01]:

It can't just be like, oh, we're going to plug you into zillow leads and you get our CRM. Like, that's not cutting it anymore. I need coaching. I need this. I need that. Like, I need a lot more. Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt, and I hope you're enjoying this episode of the work like a mother podcast real quick. I just want to remind you guys, if you are worried about missing an episode, you don't have to worry anymore because we are creating a weekly email that's going to go out automatically every single time there's a brand new episode.

Marina [00:22:25]:

And this email is going to have everything you need to know about about this week's featured guests. It's going to have all of the links and the resources that we're going to talk about in this episode so you don't have to go around and fumble through the show notes. But it's going to be served in your inbox every single week. So if you guys want that access, be sure to click below one time in the show notes today, sign up for that email and then you'll never have to worry about it in the future. And bonus, if you really love this, we'd love it if you share this with a friend, give us a review on whatever platform you're listening listening to and will continue to bring new episodes and new information that's going to help you level up your life every single week. And then I think on the value proposition, this is where, I mean, you've done a great job of it, and I'm doing it too. Building the personal brand is that you are not your company, you are not your commission structure. You are you because of your experience, because of the stories that you can tell, because of the problems that you've solved.

Marina [00:23:16]:

So tell me about that. Like, when did you start building your personal brand and what has that done for your career?

Shivani [00:23:21]:

It was in 2017 that we started doing this as a family because I work with my brothers. We're all in the mortgage space at the same branch. We were tired of realtors being so mean to us and treating us like trash, like their meal ticket. Because, you know, I've, I've been to college, I'm in grad school, I'm cultured, I've traveled. I care a lot. I invest in real estate personally and I'm really smart. So why do I have to be the bottom of the totem pole here? Yeah, I really care about the people I help, so I just kind of want to go straight to them and start attracting people who would like me instead of relying on realtors to fuel my business and having to buy them coffees and lunch. And so I diverted my value proposition to go direct to the consumer and the easiest way to reach them was putting out content because you can cold call all day and I couldn't for a year and I would get nowhere near the reach that I'm getting by putting out a 32nd video.

Shivani [00:24:18]:

And sure you have. You take the risk of giving away your advice for free. And I've been copied by loan officers all over the country will take my words as their own. But it's okay with me because this way is working so much better of reaching more people who I want to help and who would like working with me. I knew it was working. Not when, like, it was the number of leads I was getting from Instagram, but when people were calling me and saying, I feel like I already know you.

Marina [00:24:43]:

Yep.

Shivani [00:24:43]:

I was like that. Okay, done. This is worth. Yeah, because there, it's a warmer lead from, from the get go.

Marina [00:24:51]:

No, it's true. And it's same thing on a real estate side. It's like, sure, I can pay for a lead, but then they're already talking to five agents by the time they talk to me because they sell our information to other people. And then this is like a YouTube lead or something. They literally are like, can we take a selfie? I can't believe I'm meeting you. And I'm like, okay, I'm not a celebrity. Like, let's talk this.

Shivani [00:25:10]:

You are. You are.

Marina [00:25:11]:

It really is. It's like they have watched hours of your content by the time that they reach out. So they really do feel like we've had all this conversation. It's this backlog. So I would say the person that's going to succeed in 2024 is the best marketer in the sense that they're providing value. Not just like they're on the Safeway car everywhere, but they're literally providing value to the marketplace. And so if you're not, you know, camera friendly or whatever and you're not willing to take that sacrifice, it's going to be a lot harder because I feel like just those conversions with paid leads and cold calling, it just takes more now because the consumer doesn't trust it either. So they want to see your face.

Marina [00:25:46]:

They want to hear your story, they want to connect with you, they want to see you, you know, that you have kids and you do things in the community. And even as lenders, like, you are the little mayor of the city as well, it's not just realtors anymore. So I think that's a huge, huge point of it. Yeah, that's good. And then building a community, when did you start getting this group of girls together? Or women, I should say. And, like, what has speaking on stage done for you? Tell me about that.

Shivani [00:26:09]:

I love the community building aspect, and it's something I teach in my mind over markets course, because it helps you remain relevant through market cycles. It makes your business recession proof because, you know, in 2023, when things were really hard, I had two communities that I had to keep showing up for. I had my futures, female community. And I've created for realtors in Reno, mortgage and mimosas. And so they rely on me to show up with these events twice a year and with a Friday update every single week, telling them what happened in the market and how they could have smart conversations about it over the weekend. And so when you position yourself at the center of this type of community, because all eyes are on you all the time, it's your job to show up. Whether the news is good or bad, whether it's the right time to buy or sell, you have to keep showing up as the source of calm for everybody, and that means you stay relevant. And if you stay relevant, then you stay in the business.

Marina [00:27:03]:

Yep, that's so true. And I think that's true in my business, too, now that I think of it. It's the Friday newsletter that I put out every single Friday. And it's just, I'm just repurposing links that I see through my other email chains of, like, what's going on and like, da da da da da. But it's like, it doesn't matter if my business is slow or busy or whatever, people know to look forward to it and they send it to their friends and whatever, and it takes me 15 minutes to put it together like, it's the simplest thing, but you're in front of them consistently. And that's like, such a huge thing to drive home so good. And I think we could all do better of creating community and getting involved. Like, have you heard about this loneliness epidemic that America is experiencing? Like, it's crazier than ever.

Marina [00:27:41]:

That's like, we just got to get out of our houses. Like, we are just little potato couches and, like, I need an invite to get me out. So more people like you who can host the events and, like, pull me out of my comfort zone would be huge. So we just need more of that, for sure. Okay, well, tell me more about mind over markets. Like, what is the coaching program? Who is it for? What does it look like?

Shivani [00:28:02]:

It'll benefit anyone in sales, any entrepreneur, but it's really designed for realtors and loan officers because I like to speak to what I know. And so I take the first half of the system I put together based on what I did in 2017 with going direct to consumer and building a personal brand and building out community. And then it got really interesting when I started grad school in 2020 because then I started learning about human psychology and emotional intelligence. And so that's where the second half of the system came down and gets really tactical on how you improve the one on one interactions you have with people, how you improve the one to many interactions you have with people, and how you start owning your authority so that people see you the way you want to be seen, the way you've earned to be seen, and so that you can really, truly become someone that people will seek your advice and trust you because you have earned that from them. You've unlocked that level of trust.

Marina [00:28:59]:

Yeah, that's huge. Okay, so that's like ninja secret sauce that no one else is really teaching because you're in school with the nitty gritty psychology tricks. That's really fun.

Shivani [00:29:08]:

I wanted to combine my experience as a top producer.

Marina [00:29:11]:

Yeah.

Shivani [00:29:11]:

With human psychology to help people be better in a new world of real estate. Because I don't think it's going to be the way it's been for the long. For the longest time. I think the need for human connection is changing. You started it. Exactly. With, like, this era of loneliness. People's relationship with technology is becoming toxic.

Marina [00:29:32]:

Yeah.

Shivani [00:29:33]:

People's level of trust with the media is gone non existent. And those are all huge opportunities for us to earn people's trust.

Marina [00:29:42]:

No. So good. And then is this, like, pre recorded? It's on your own time or. It's a monthly thing. How does it work? What's the routine?

Shivani [00:29:49]:

There's a self paced course that you can just pop online and buy and you'll work through the videos you have. I recommend doing one video a week and doing the homework. The worksheet over the week, twice a year, we'll do it with you live. We call those live sessions, and we'll run through the eight weeks course where we meet weekly on Zoom and do the do it together. But I also offer one on one coaching where you can sign up to work with me for six months. I don't believe in accountability coaching. I think that they profit from, like, keeping limiting beliefs in place so that you have to do your business that old way with door knocking and buying zillow leads and, like, just getting shit on and your capacity to succeed is your tolerance for being shit on. I don't believe in that.

Shivani [00:30:30]:

And I think that's what accountability coaches want you to believe is the only way they say it. They say it's not rocket science to be a successful loan officer or realtor. Just follow the system. You just have to have thick enough skin to follow the system and do the things. Yeah, but I don't think that's true anymore. I think the way the world is changing and the way people are going to choose to spend their money and who they're going to pay to represent them in these ways is going to be different. And you can start learning how to connect with people on a human level so that you don't work with everybody, but you work with the people you like, and that'll make your life enjoyable, and there's plenty of business to go around.

Marina [00:31:01]:

So true. Yes. There is more than enough. Like, I don't want all the people. I only can take so many. You know? It's like, I just want the ones.

Shivani [00:31:07]:

Who are cool, who are decent human beings, who like me, who we could vibe with, and we could go on this journey together. Mm hmm.

Marina [00:31:14]:

Exactly. Nope. So good. Okay, let's wrap this up with some action steps. So we shared a lot of good advice, not only about, like, lending in general, loan officer training, and, like, who should become one. If there's a mother listening that's on this entrepreneurial journey, what advice do you have for her?

Shivani [00:31:30]:

I would say, sit down and think about what you really want, not what you're supposed to want. Like, think about what would give you joy. Like, when I talk to realtors, they think they have to build out this team and do this thing, and then I'll ask them, like, what do you really like about your job? Well, you don't have to follow that model. Or when I talk to stay at home moms who feel like they've done a disservice to their family by staying home and being with their babies. But I'm like, does that actually give you joy? Has that filled your cup in so many ways? Like, when you think about if you would have gone to work and left your children with someone else, how do you feel? And they're like. Like, vomiting. I'm like, then I don't think you should feel bad. I think you did exactly the right thing by yourself.

Shivani [00:32:07]:

And so I think there's so much pressure on us to do it all. And people will look at me and they're like, I don't know how you do it all. And I'm like, I don't know if you'd like to live my life. It's not that great. You know what I mean? Like, I'm addicted to chaos, and this is how I get my self worth. But if you are not, then you would be miserable in my life, so you shouldn't be letting my instagram make you feel bad because you want nothing to do with the way I live my life. I think everyone needs to sit down. If you want to be an entrepreneur and you think about why you're doing this and what the end goal for you really would be, because you'll be able to map the steps out to get there so much better than you think you can.

Shivani [00:32:43]:

If you're not sure what your next steps are, I think it's because you're not really sure what you really want.

Marina [00:32:47]:

So, good girl. Preach. You could have just, like, stayed on the pedestal for ten minutes. I know. It's so, so true. So often we get caught up in, like, what everyone else tells us to do or how this looks to be successful, and every single family is so freaking different. And it doesn't mean that you have to make 500,000 or be a millionaire to be successful. It can come in all shapes and sizes.

Marina [00:33:06]:

So just example for this season, I'm in maintenance mode. I'm not in, like, let's be top producer. Like, we've been there, done that. I'm homeschooling my nine year old right now, which means I have to slow down and be face to face present with him. And I'm learning. He's a kinesthetic learner, which means we're playing basketball and doing math. Worksheets ain't working anymore. So it's like, I'm still having this successful career.

Marina [00:33:28]:

I have two other businesses, too. You can do it all. It's just, what capacity and what works for you in your life. Like, that's the biggest thing. It's not going to.

Shivani [00:33:35]:

What do you want to do? Like, yeah, what does all mean to you? Like, there's many people doing one job teaching school, and they feel like they're doing it all because they're fulfilled. Doing it all looks different to everybody.

Marina [00:33:49]:

Yes. No. So good. Okay, well, we end every episode with a fun rapid fire. So what is your Starbucks order?

Shivani [00:33:56]:

Oh, a flat white with a vanilla sweet cold foam. So then they'll go, oh, you want it iced?

Marina [00:34:01]:

And I'm like, no, hot, hot with the cold foam.

Shivani [00:34:04]:

Yum.

Marina [00:34:04]:

That sounds good. Okay. What do you make for dinner if it's last minute?

Shivani [00:34:08]:

I don't cook. I don't know. I can't. I couldn't even make you a quesadilla.

Marina [00:34:11]:

Do you preheat anything? You have frozen food ready?

Shivani [00:34:14]:

My husband, we don't eat. If my husband's out of town, my mom comes over.

Marina [00:34:18]:

There you go. Okay. What's your favorite. Go to department of target. Do you have a favorite designer?

Shivani [00:34:24]:

Oh, my favorite thing at Target is literally to just walk around, just get inspired. I love. Okay, so going to target reminds me of when I worked part time and I had my son, and so it always reminds me of being a new mom, because going to target was an adventure. So I love just walking around there, and now I'll take all three kids, and I will spend a ridiculous amount of money, because when you take three kids to target, you're gonna get hosed. But it gives me joy, because it takes me back to, like, nine years ago when I was, like, just walking around target trying to kill time and not sure if I had any idea what I was doing and having so much self doubt, but I was happy that I was out of the house with the Starbucks and put my kid in the front of the cart and got some fresh air.

Marina [00:35:09]:

Such a sweet time. Yeah. Taking back to those moments too, and, like, remember when it was so simple, it was just me and you? Like, those are the days. Okay. Give me a podcast or a book you'd recommend to the audience and why.

Shivani [00:35:20]:

My favorite book that I've ever read is not a self help book. So it's the worst answer to give on a podcast interview. But it's called this is how it always is, and it's about a family that has five boys, and the youngest ends up being trans and the whole family, like, it's the impact it is on the whole family. To get behind supporting this youngest kid, they move across the country. For poppy to go to a new school as a girl and just reading the whole book was like, wow. Like, the depth of the human experience. It's fiction, but the author does have a trans child, so. Wow.

Shivani [00:35:56]:

It's very realistic, very cool.

Marina [00:35:58]:

Yeah. Okay. TikTok or Instagram.

Shivani [00:36:01]:

I freaking love TikTok. Yeah.

Marina [00:36:03]:

Okay, awesome. I'm just getting back into mine and, like, reinvigorating it, but it's been fun. Okay. And then where can people find you online? What's your handle? Awesome. And they'll follow you on TikTok, where you like to hang out. Well, thank you so much. This was so much fun, and I feel like you're just authentic. You're you, and you're not bullshit.

Marina [00:36:22]:

Like, it's just tell it like it is. And that's the whole point. So thanks for being on the show, Shivani. And I look forward to following along and hopefully seeing you at another forward event soon.

Shivani [00:36:31]:

Yes, thank you. Okay.

Join Marina in this discussion as she unpacks essential strategies for making money quickly and overcoming market challenges. Marina shares her personal experience and expert tips on building confidence, selling with authenticity, and creating valuable content that resonates with your audience. Whether you're an entrepreneur or a small business owner, this episode provides actionable steps to boost your business and generate income effectively. Don't miss out on Marina's powerful advice on navigating the competitive landscape and achieving your financial goals.

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

Newsletter: https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/opt-in

Listen to Work Like A Mother

Apple

Spotify

Or any of your favorite platforms!

Transcript:

Marina [00:00:00]:

You need to stop doing this and start doing this. Figure out your life, basically. Stop being afraid of everyone else's opinion. Stop looking around at what all your competition is doing. Refer link download grab claim take advantage of. Right? Well, there's a way to sell yourself without being cringe and annoying. Lucky you. It's just me today, so we're going to do a solo episode about this is really for someone.

Marina [00:00:29]:

Honestly, if you're like, I need to make money this month, but I have no idea how the heck I'm going to do it. This is the episode for you because I just been feeling that I'm hearing it from agents around me, I'm hearing it from lenders that the market is really tough right now and we know this, but then why is it that I am for some reason am slammed and having no issue with my pipeline and I'm noticing a huge discrepancy in what I'm doing online and what they're doing online. And so I want to empower you, whoever this is. I mean, you can be an entrepreneur in any trade in the industry and this is going to apply to you with marketing and selling yourself. So let's dive into how you can make money this month and it's going to just be like rapid. I'm not going to really go into this long form. I want this to be a good commuter type of podcast for you where you can get in, get out and get really inspired to take some action. One of the biggest things I see is you don't have confidence when you are promoting your business online.

Marina [00:01:28]:

You're kind of saying if you want to, if you feel like it, it's like optional for them to take action with your content and that's not going to inspire anyone to take action. So you've got to almost have like your bossy pants on. You're going to tell someone what they have to do and say it with that like hard love, tough love mentality of like, you need to stop doing this and start doing this or you need to figure out your life basically and do these steps because this is the solution to your problems. Like it's really taking them from problem to you have the solution and they can't get what they want unless they work with you. That's the overall vibe that we're going.

Marina [00:02:08]:

Hey, ladies, real quick, if you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're smiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan. I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm, mostly. And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantom leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you.

Marina [00:02:49]:

So if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level. Let's dive back in.

Marina [00:03:07]:

So another thing that we can do is you guys just simply aren't selling yourself enough. Like, and I can even do a better job of this. I know sometimes we have fear that, well, if we sell too much, they're not going to trust us and it's going to feel salesy. Well, there's a way to sell yourself without being cringe and annoying. And really that comes through adding value with education. And so by you repeatedly, consistently saying something they didn't know before, reminding them that this is the way to get from a to b to c, that that just creates value add for them to trust you in the long term. So by doing that with that, what do you call that confidence that you are the solution to their problems. By working with you, you get them to the solution that they want.

Marina [00:03:53]:

That's going to help. But again, with selling yourselves, how do you do that gracefully? How do we do it without being cringe? You're doing it by serving what they want on a platter, number one, and you're not forcing them to do it. And you're not saying, book a call, book a call, book a call. And it's not every single day either. There is some finesse to this. So a big one is just to provide them with a resource so that can be creating, maybe you have two or three freebies, what we call them, where you like, opt into an email subscription and you're gonna get this free PDF. I know everyone has done this, but a lot of you guys haven't done this. Like you're signing up for everyone else's, but you haven't created your own.

Marina [00:04:30]:

That is one way, one surefire way right there to get someone and help them immediately. Like, you're not gonna give them the whole recipe for success, right? But you're gonna give them the first few ingredients to get started. And then more importantly, they're now on your email list, which then you can serve them over and over and over. And instead of leaving it to an algorithm that has a 1% chance that they see your content once you have that email address, I mean, gosh darn it, you were right there in their inbox. And there is a very high likelihood that they're going to open that first couple of emails, which is then important to continue to delivering that value to keep them opening. Every single time. We're not just saying book a call every time. We're not just saying sign up here every single time.

Marina [00:05:11]:

We're saying, here's how to get what you want. Click the link to do that. And I think there's a huge difference between what you're doing and what people actually want. So make the connect, right? Just think like a consumer, would I sign up for what I'm pitching? Does this make sense for me? Like, really just put yourself in that person's shoes, right? Another one is to simply refer, link, download, grab, claim, take advantage of, right? See more here. Like a big one I've been doing on stories lately is like, here's a great listing, which like, probably 25% of my audience actually cares about. But then if I just do, like little teasers, right, like, what I'm posting online is just a hint of it, and it's like, view the inside here and it's a link to go do something. And maybe it's like, I don't know, what else have I done lately? Polls, dude. There's so much value in polls.

Marina [00:06:06]:

Another one is in my descriptions of my content on social media. This applies to TikTok, to YouTube, and to Instagram. I'm just hinting, during the video or during the carousel, the caption is where the juices. So no longer is social media a quick hit. When it comes to captions. It's like a full on blog post, sometimes with like 300 plus words. So we're getting really intentional with being authentic, using our own voice. We're not just using chat GBT for everything.

Marina [00:06:37]:

And we're talking to our friends, like it's our actual friends and we're saying, hey girl, I know you want to do this, but this is actually the way that it works. So if you want more, you know, like click on the thing at the top of my page and get exactly what you want right now downloaded. It's not always a book a call, book a call, set an appointment. Like initial sales, the results that you want are going to come from over delivering first. So if you want to get paid this month, you have to over delivery in the next two weeks to actually get something to close and get cash in your bank account by the end of the month.

Marina [00:07:10]:

Hey guys, I hope you're enjoying the podcast. But real quick, if you are someone that's super overwhelmed and you're worrying how the heck am I supposed to do all this stuff, I want to tell you, I have a really good four week course for you. It's called core values of your calendar. It's super succinct to the point, filled with stories about how I've overcome overwhelmed myself and the strategies and tools I use today to do all the things that I'm doing today. So I've been there, I've seen it. I mean, I still see it on my feed today. All the influencers who are telling us do this, sell more, be more, post.

Marina [00:07:39]:

Twelve times a day, right?

Marina [00:07:40]:

And it's freaking impossible. And so I want you to go to marinatolentino.com, scroll down and look for the course again. It's called core values of your calendar. Read it, see if it's right for you. But I would love for you to dive in and literally implement the tools and systems and strategies that I've learned over the years that have paid thousands of dollars in coaching to get this information and give it to you in this course. Check that out and we'll get right back to the podcast.

Marina [00:08:03]:

I hope this makes sense. I know this is like a rant and a ramble, but I'm just seeing it over and over again where there is a clear, clear difference between the content creators who are serving up value like they're giving it all away for free, versus the ones that are just selling something that everybody else has. There's no uniqueness to them. So I want you to get super clear on your one person that you're talking to and you're going to give it all away. Like you're going to keep educating over and over and over, answer all the questions that this person has over and over and over. Before you know it. They're going to be calling you and they're going to say, hey, Marina, I downloaded your thing. I'm on your email list.

Marina [00:08:43]:

Thank you so much for sending that every Friday, by the way, I have watched probably 10 hours of your videos and I would like to buy a home. Here's the link. Can we go see this tonight? And we write an offer that night and we're going to be in escrow. Like it's that fast. And if you have a product or your retail business, I mean instantaneous, like they can click at 10:00 at night on TikTok. You know, it's really about paving that clean, clear pathway and helping them understand the process that you take them through with your education. When you work with me, you get this experience. You're telling the story.

Marina [00:09:20]:

And I think that's just, that's kind of why I want to wrap it today is like you have to sell yourself to get what you want. Stop being afraid of everyone else's opinion. Stop looking around at what all your competition is doing. Worry about your one client, and you just constantly have to take yourself back to the one person who is struggling. If only you can help that one person with the problem that you solve, what would you tell them today? And then you just do that every single day consistently online. Or you batch it out and you pick one day a month to make a crap ton of content. And your assistant, which I use, is going to push it out for you. And that's just how we do it.

Marina [00:09:59]:

And it's that consistency over time. So with anything with marketing, it is building the snowball. It is starting on your hands and knees, spreading your arms and scooping it towards you, forming a ball. And that initial momentum energy that you have to build is going to be exhausting. But then you have to build the muscle to make the next one and the next one. And before you know it, you have a real ball that's rolling, but it's not rolling yet on its own. We are pushing this thing up the hill. And if you give up, you take breaks or whatever.

Marina [00:10:29]:

When you are starting your marketing, the ball is going to weigh on you and push you back down the hill. This is where we have to keep going over that hill to make it actually snowball and have its own momentum. If it doesn't have its own momentum yet, it is 100% reliant on your muscle to move the ball forward. This is that like the grit that we have to get back to. 2024 is a hard year, I think, for businesses all around. And so it's the entrepreneurs that are doing intentional, daily, consistent action that are going to move the needle. So I just really want to find the people that are doing it because I feel like everyone around me is kind of pansied out, unfortunately. Like, who wants it? Who really wants it? And those people that do it are going to have the best year of their careers in any industry, like I said.

Marina [00:11:17]:

So that's it today, guys, I just want to remind you that the best ones, the best people who are making that money, who are building their careers, building their businesses, are showing up and asking for it. So don't be afraid to ask for it and go for it.

Dive into the world of personal branding and business success with Larissa and Marina on the Work Like A Mother Podcast! In this episode featuring Larissa Salazar, discover the secrets to sustainable branding and effective marketing strategies. Learn about the powerful 'content diamond' approach to supercharge your social media presence and reach. Gain insights into building trust and connections through authentic personal branding, and uncover the strategic phases of brand development. Whether you're a budding entrepreneur or aiming to elevate your brand game, this episode provides crucial tips, mentorship, and actionable steps for long-lasting success!

Mentioned in this Episode

Worthy - Jamie Kern Lima

Practicing the Way - Jon Mark Comer

The Awe of God - John Bevere

Larissa Salazar

https://freebrandcall.com/ls/

IG: @larissasalazar

TT: @larissasalazarr0

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: https://www.youtube.com/@marinatolentino

Newsletter: https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/opt-in

Listen to Work Like A Mother

Apple

Spotify

Or any of your favorite platforms!

Transcript:

Marina [00:00:00]:

Why do you invest so much time and money into your brand? What is the whole point? Can you shed light onto why it's so important?

Larissa [00:00:05]:

When we're talking about a personal brand, we're really looking inward at somebody's like, superpower. What makes them unique, what they uniquely solve for people.

Marina [00:00:14]:

I've seen how it works. I've seen how people can share the information and they really get to understand the person behind the business. And that's what sells. It's the connection and the authenticity.

Larissa [00:00:23]:

It takes time to build trust, so you have to play the long game when you're really showing up online and trying to build reputation.

Marina [00:00:32]:

So I feel like personal brand is also an ongoing evolution of growth, too. And I'm sure you've seen absolutely across the board, like, you never really arrive.

Larissa [00:00:40]:

Where are you in the journey? If you're in year one, then let's be really proud of what you can accomplish for your brand and your company in year one. But we can't revert backwards. We can only take steps forward.

Marina [00:01:00]:

Alrighty. Today I have someone super special and unique to the show. She's actually my personal brand strategist that I've had for the last two years with brand builders group. So Larissa is here, and she's freshly new to Nashville as well, recently from Texas. So we love that, that she's on the move. She's been so fun to watch and follow along, too, on her personal side. And so I think she's a great person to bring on the show. Talk real life, talk real branding, real entrepreneurship, because she works with dozens of clients every single day doing this exact thing and giving strategy and advice.

Marina [00:01:31]:

So welcome to the show, Larissa.

Larissa [00:01:32]:

Thank you for having me. I'm so excited to talk with you. But also talk with all your listeners and tell them a little bit about personal branding, what it is, what it isn't, and how they can leverage it in their own entrepreneur journey, 100%.

Marina [00:01:46]:

And it's something I feel like people have heard me talk about personally. Like, I'll share about Brandon, but they don't always understand the why behind it. Like, why do you invest so much time and money into your brand? Like, what is the real, like, why is there a juice and squeeze? You know, like, what is the whole point? Can you shed light onto why it's so important?

Larissa [00:02:01]:

Yeah, absolutely. And so with personal branding, it's. I think people get a little bit confused on what truly is a personal brand and how do we use it, like, in real life. And so when people hear the word brand. They oftentimes think of colors, fonts, all of the pretty visuals that go along with marketing, actually for a brand or business. And all of those things are important, but it's not the end all of a person's brand. That's the packaging that almost comes after. When we're talking about a personal brand, we're really looking inward at somebody's, like, superpower, what makes them unique, what they uniquely solve for people.

Larissa [00:02:44]:

But also, like, if we really wanted to describe it in simple terms, it's somebody's reputation, it's who they are, it's what they believe, it's what they're passionate about. That is a true personal brand. And so when people are like, why do I need it? Why does it matter? It's because we know that people do business with people. People don't do business with just companies. And so you have to know how you're showing up for your audience or your client base so that you build trust.

Marina [00:03:17]:

Yeah, and a good way I like to phrase it, too. It's like your personal brand is what someone says when they talk about you at a restaurant or something. And they're like, you have to meet Marina, because XYZ, that's your one liner. Like, what are other people saying about you?

Larissa [00:03:29]:

Hopefully, it's a good thing when you're not around.

Marina [00:03:32]:

Yeah, it's hopefully that good. Like, two to three items that they know that you do, and they know that you're there for, like, your character and stuff. And so, again, it's the brand stuff for your company is like the umbrella, but who is the person that you're going to work with? Especially in service oriented businesses, we don't care that you're allstate. We want to know that you're Susan. You know, like that. Exactly 100%. So I think just in my brand, I mean, I've seen how it works. I've seen how people can share the information, and they really get to understand the person behind the business.

Marina [00:04:02]:

And that's what sells. It's the connection and the authenticity. And I feel like those are kind of buzzwords for 2024 and especially, like, I don't know if it's the next generation or just millennials in general. Like, we're done with the fluff. We're done with the perfection and the Instagram looking perfect. We want authenticity. So what are some ways that you're seeing some of your clients really put that authenticity first? Do you have any examples of what that looks like?

Larissa [00:04:27]:

Yeah, and I think the. The biggest thing for my clients and with how in demand and popular social media is, the one thing I always remind people is that just because you have millions of followers doesn't mean you're going to make millions of dollars. And that's a quote straight from AJ Baden, our co founder at Brambler's group. And so really putting that expectation down of how many followers do I have, how many likes am I getting? And really just saying, am I showing up as me? Am I giving information to my audience or client base that I actually believe in and that I will continue to share, practice, and believe in whether or not I have any likes or support online? So I always like to break down that barrier with clients when I first meet them. But how are people actually showing up authentically online? I think it's being really vulnerable, and I don't mean vulnerable in the sense of, like, share all your dirty laundry, but just be real about what's happening in your business. Little behind the scenes of like, how did I get here? What am I learning? Not being scared to say, hey, I messed up, or, hey, I did really good. And finding the balance between all of those elements and then staying consistent with it, it takes time to build trust, and so you have to play the long game when you're really showing up online and trying to build reputation.

Marina [00:05:54]:

Yeah. And I think with the reputation, you're building relationships which take time naturally. You can't just, like, cold date someone and be like, let's get married. It takes a long time.

Larissa [00:06:03]:

Exactly. It's, and people don't like, I think everybody just, in our time today, in our generation, we're so used to, like, the instant gratification or things happening very quickly. And so when somebody steps into trying to build a personal brand, they do it for a short period of time, and then they're like, this isn't working. I'm not seeing the return on any, like, investment, but that's just not the case with the personal brand. Think about, like, if we're truly saying that a personal brand is your reputation, how many years are people looking at you to say, oh, that's the reputation they carry. Right. So it's something that accumulates slowly over time. And so a personal brand isn't going to happen in 30 days.

Larissa [00:06:49]:

Personal brand probably isn't going to be at its full potential in even 365 days. And it's because your reputation is always growing and being refined because you have to show up every day.

Marina [00:07:02]:

Yeah.

Larissa [00:07:03]:

And so it, it takes, it's the long game.

Marina [00:07:06]:

Mm hmm. And I think that's been. I mean, that's true for me. Like, the patience is so much part of it. Like, if I go back to when I first started working with you, this is like 2022, I think. Yeah, I mean, I had an idea of what my personal brand was, but then you started to ask some really good questions and I was like, oh, wait, shoot. Do I know my avatar? Do I know my ideal client profile? Like, maybe not anymore. Or am I just doing what everyone else is doing and thinking that that's the way you should do it? Because it's so easy to just live in comparison and be like, oh, my gosh, I love these other five real estate agents.

Marina [00:07:36]:

So I'm just going to do everything that they're doing because it seems to be working, so let's just duplicate it. Well, it can't. It's totally different markets, it's totally different culture, totally different. You, like, you just can't do it. Um, so I feel like personal brand is also an ongoing evolution of growth, too. And I'm sure you've seen absolutely across the board, like, you never really arrive. You're always, well, if you're doing, if.

Larissa [00:07:57]:

You'Re doing a personal brand in any sort of, like, personal development or company scaling or growth, if you're not changing, something's not working. You should constantly be evolving. I was talking to a client today, actually, about how people like, are we supposed to, or are we not supposed to look at our competition essentially for inspiration or to see what they're doing in our specific industry? And my response to that was, you can look at somebody else's business or brand and say, man, it really looks like things are working for them. But unless you're on the inside of their company and you're seeing their close rates, you're seeing their purchases, if you aren't inside, you really don't know if it's working for them or not. It might look shiny and pretty from the outside, but to attempt to follow something that you actually don't know is working isn't going to do you and your brand any justice. You actually have to say, okay, what they're doing seems good, but what they're doing is consistency. Like, they are showing up constantly. If I show up in a consistent way, in a way that I know I can track and I can see if it's working or not working, then I can make adjustments and I can continue to show up.

Larissa [00:09:21]:

And so it's really shifting the mindset as a entrepreneur to say, I see what the competition is doing but I'm going to choose to do it my way and in my lens because I know what works for me and for my audience.

Marina [00:09:34]:

Yeah, no, 100%. And I think that's one of the things that's so great about having you, who we work with once a month. Um, it's because we're always going back and reflecting, did this work? Did this not work? Let's test again. Let's tweak it and the accountability, because I know a lot of people just hiring someone in general, there's so many, you know, walls up about, oh, I can't afford it, oh, it's not worth it. Like who? You know, just excuses. But then when you take the plunge to invest in yourself, in your business, and you have an accountability partner holding your hand and someone has a sounding board to say, is this really in line with you or did you get this from somewhere else? Like just like a good check, you know, it goes beeps and downs and you waste all the time and money wasted that you could have by throwing something at the wall, seeing what's going to stick. And so I think that's been really empowering for me, is to go like, okay, I have a million ideas, but what is actually most important, because we waste so much energy on the what ifs instead of, like, what's real on the what ifs?

Larissa [00:10:28]:

And I typically tell entrepreneurs, it's like, do you really know what it is you want to do and share with the world? Because if you do, if you've done the work, then go hire a marketing agency who's going to like, crank it out for you and post, post, post, do all of those things. What we do in personal branding is so different because it's like half therapist, half idea maker, half, let me hold you accountable. And it's because we're getting to the core of who you are, because your business on the outside may shift and change. And I think that's something people forget about, personal branding. It's like, Marina, you could stop being a real estate agent tomorrow if you really wanted to, but your personal brand, your beliefs and your character and what. How you show up for people and for your clients is going to stay the same. And so if you went and opened any other business in the world, like anything else, people could still come do business with you and be like, I trust Marina. I know what she's all about.

Larissa [00:11:30]:

And that's what we're trying to do when we say, let's build a personal brand, not let's market your company. And that's where people like, experience the disconnect.

Marina [00:11:43]:

Yeah, no, that's so good.

Marina [00:11:44]:

Hey ladies, real quick. If you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're spiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm mostly. And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen Gigantombe leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you.

Marina [00:12:25]:

So if you're interested and you want.

Marina [00:12:27]:

To know what that looks like, I.

Marina [00:12:28]:

Want you to go to marinatolentino.com and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level.

Marina [00:12:41]:

Let's dive back in. Walk me through kind of like the different phases that we go through as a personal brand from like ground zero. I've never worked on this before. To like the end product where you have five streams of income. Like what does that journey look like?

Larissa [00:12:54]:

That's a great question. And so within brand builders group, we have a four phase process. So we go through branding, marketing, selling and then scaling. And people come in and they're like, okay, so we're going to do this in a year. And I say, no, we're not going to do it in a year. You can go as fast as you want to, but we're going to go as slow as you have to, essentially. And so in our first piece of the program and where we really start with personal branding, we do what we call Brand DNA. And it's what we've kind of been describing here, getting down into the nitty gritty and saying, who am I? Who can I serve? What am I doing for them? Like what problem do I need to help them overcome? What have I been through in my own life that I can leverage as proof and encouragement? For these people.

Larissa [00:13:48]:

And then what is my unique lens that I take to solving problems? Because every entrepreneur, every personal brand approaches solving problems in a different way. It looks different for everybody. And so when you can do that deep work of saying, I know who I am, I know how I show up in the marketplace, people can't take that from you. They can't take who you are on the inside. And so we deep dive into those kinds of things for our clients at the very beginning. We then take them through a process of creating their own thought leadership. And so if you've ever read any kind of personal development book or taken any kind of course, like people had to slow down to map all that content out. And so we do that for our clients, not because they have to immediately go sell a product, but because no matter what, if you're in business, if you've done life, you've learned some lessons.

Larissa [00:14:47]:

And so if you can document all of those things that you know how to share with people, you have this bank of information that you can always go back and say, hey, I know this, I can give that to somebody. And I don't say give in a free way, but I can, like, I can really take it and help somebody live life differently. And so we spend a lot of time in that section. We typically say that people don't make it to a marketing side of a business, not because you can't do some outward marketing, but when you're building, it takes time. And so we go into our marketing phase, typically at the end of year one, going into year two, we spend some time there. People can live in those first two sections of branding and marketing for a long time because you have to build something that is sustainable. And when we say marketing, we're talking about, okay, let's build your website, let's build your funnels, let's build your email list, let's make sure you have lead magnets and opportunities to bring people in. And that's not even scratching the surface of actually selling, like on the phone.

Larissa [00:16:02]:

And so we have those four phases. And typically we tell people it'll take you about three years, but it could save you a lot of years if you do things in a slow, at a slow pace, in the right order. At the right time.

Marina [00:16:19]:

Yeah, so good. And just, I mean, you talking about getting stuck in the middle. It's not that we're stuck or it takes a long time. It does take a long time, but it's the, like for funnels, let's just say funnels out of how many entrepreneurs who actually has an operating funnel that's not leaky? And it's going straight to the point and getting your customer exactly what they want and letting you in their email list. Like, what percentage nut one.

Larissa [00:16:40]:

The thing is, it's like, some of them have them, but the question becomes, how much support do they have to create? Not. Not only, like, create copy. And the idea of, I want to take somebody from point a, point a to point z creating that concept, but then actually, like, technologically creating it, which is a whole different beast. And so when you see these, like, big personalities brands, the names that we see all the time online, Ed Milette, Amy Porterfield, all those people, they have teams. These are not, like, solo entrepreneurs doing it in the basement by themself. And oftentimes, people are a one man band or a small band of, like, three to four people. And so I always like to put that into perspective when I'm talking about growth with clients. It's like, those people are there today.

Larissa [00:17:38]:

They weren't there five years ago. So where are you in the journey? If you're in year one, then let's be really proud of what you can accomplish for your, your brand and your company in year one. But we can't revert backwards. We can only take steps forward.

Marina [00:17:55]:

True. Yeah. Can you go through the content diamond that we teach and go through? Because I feel like so often we'll just post it once and be like, I checked the box. I did it. And then there's so much that you're leaving out there that could have been taking advantage of, like, what is the content diamond that we preach?

Larissa [00:18:10]:

Absolutely. Okay, so the content diamond is our unique approach to creating social content that does not wear you down as an entrepreneur, because if you're looking at your schedule, and Marina's the best about talking about taking control of your calendar. Like, if you are a business owner and a parent and a spouse and a friend and all of these things, or maybe you're managing employees or a team, whatever that might be, probably the last thing on your calendar is carved out. Time to post on your instagram. Although, you know, it's important, it's probably not the first thing that you do in the morning. And so we created a structure to help entrepreneurs create content in a very efficient way. But how then is able to be stretched? So, essentially, the content diamond is based around the calendar of the year. So we start with what we call the 52 questions, and it's you sitting down and saying, okay, I know who my audience is.

Larissa [00:19:17]:

And the 52 things that they could potentially ask me within the year. And I'm not talking about, like, groundbreaking information or knowledge. I'm talking about the basics. So if somebody called you up and said, hey, Marina, I want to buy my second property and I want to buy it in Hawaii, how many questions are they going to ask you over that time span? Yeah, so many. A lot. And so it's saying, okay, I'm going to write out every basic question that they could potentially throw at me, from the basics down to, like, getting started all the way up, maybe questions I don't even know the answer to yet, but I could find it for them and listing out those questions, because if you can answer one question a week for your audience, you have content for a year. Now, how do we stretch that past one post? We actually used to teach it that we would start with a Facebook live video. And so some people are still on Facebook.

Larissa [00:20:18]:

Some people are not on Facebook. It just kind of depends. But what we're starting with is a long, longer form video to begin with. And that can be anywhere from five to, to seven minutes is usually what we're aiming for. You want it to be long enough that we can house it on YouTube so it, if it were shorter, we could probably toss it on Instagram. We're looking for something a little bit more substantial.

Marina [00:20:42]:

Hey, guys, I hope you're enjoying the podcast. But real quick, if you are someone that's super overwhelmed and you're worrying, how the heck am I supposed to do all this stuff, I want to tell you I have a really good four week course for you. It's called core values of your calendar. It's super succinct, to the point, filled with stories about how I've overcome, overwhelmed myself and the strategies and tools I use today to do all the things that I'm doing today. So I've been there. I've seen it. I mean, I still see it on my feed today. All the influencers who are telling us, do this, sell more, be more, post twelve times a day, right? And it's freaking impossible.

Marina [00:21:13]:

And so I want you to go to marinatolentino.com, comma, scroll down and look for the course again. It's called core values of your calendar. Read it, see if it's right for you. But I would love for you to dive in and literally implement the tools and systems and strategies that I've learned over the years that have paid thousands of dollars in coaching to get this information and give it to you in this course. Check that out, and we'll get right back to the podcast.

Larissa [00:21:34]:

Imagine this is like a diamond. And your long form video is up at the top. There are now two ways that you can repurpose. There is video and image options, and then there's like text options that people can play around with. And so you have seven minutes worth of content that we can use to cut up into at least five to six pieces of content, essentially. So we want to create some short snippets out of this long form video. So whether that be a 15 2nd clip, a 32nd clip in a 1 minute clip to tease out the content in the longer form video. So you're now up to about five.

Larissa [00:22:18]:

You have the long form, which is one piece of content that is housed on YouTube. You have a 32nd clip, a 15 2nd clip, a 1 minute clip. So you're up to four. The next thing we want you to do is create any kind of social graphic. So this would be more of a standstill image. Whether it's a quote, something that you said that was really pithy and memorable as you were teaching. Maybe that's one, one graphic image that you can use. And then maybe the second post is.

Larissa [00:22:48]:

Maybe you covered like five steps on how to take control of your calendar. You would then turn it into like a carousel post. It's. You have your cover photo, you have every piece of the teaching, every step with maybe a little blurb. So we started with four, then we had a quote image, then we had a slider image. We're up to six pieces of content just from that one question, and we still have more. So then you're going to transcribe your long form video, pop it into whatever AI tool that you need to use, grab all of those words, format it into a blog post, and say, my video is at the top of that blog, and I can have the transcription underneath it. And now you're blogging, too.

Larissa [00:23:35]:

And most people say they don't have time to blog, or blogging is dead. It's not that blogging is dead. It's just that people want to. They want to be able to decide how they're consuming their content. And in that sense, somebody could read the blog, or somebody could just watch the video, but it's up to them. And so that is what we call the content diamond. You've created now upward of six to seven pieces of content, which is one for every day of the week. You don't need more than that.

Larissa [00:24:05]:

And you answered it, or you completed that by answering one question.

Marina [00:24:09]:

So that in an hour or less.

Larissa [00:24:11]:

A week, in an hour or less. And if you're really like running the content diamond smoothly, you film one day a month with four different blouses and you knock out your four weeks of content. I want to say it's that simple. It's not the easiest thing to do, but when you have a system that you have built, then it's simple. It's saying, I'm going to get all the things I need because I know those things are going to save me time, energy and effort in the long run. And the people who are doing content like that are staying consistent and they're protecting their time. And that's what entrepreneurs really need to be focused on. How can I create quality content while also not turning into a formal content creator? Because there is a difference.

Larissa [00:25:10]:

You can be an entrepreneur who creates great and valuable content. And then there is, especially in today's age, like a all day, every day. I'm going to take you with me, content creator, because they're not running a business, they're running themselves. So two different kind of concepts.

Marina [00:25:28]:

Yeah, no, I think all of that is really good. I hope people were taking notes and they might need to like rewind and play that, but automatically, I mean, I'm in this season right now where we're like cleaning up the website and we didn't really take advantage of blogs the way that we should have. And so I'm just kind of deep diving into this and like learning all the things. But like, absolutely, you should do the video with the transcription and then everything should like link to related articles so that you're keeping people within your stuff and then before you know it, they've binged 3 hours of your content and they're your best friend. And all of this is possible by just going step by step by step. It does take patience. And having that system, it's not rocket science, it really is just down and like mapping it out and then making sure you're hitting each box and you don't have to do it all. So that's why I have an assistant that does most of it for me.

Marina [00:26:13]:

I just do the face to camera. She does everything else except for like my personal instagram. So it doesn't even have to take you an hour a week. It could take you 4 hours for the month to film. Unless did it yesterday. In 2 hours I did four videos. And then you just let your team go through it. Yes.

Marina [00:26:30]:

You have to train them and give them everything, but they'll learn it again.

Larissa [00:26:34]:

Systems right it's like carving out what is the right system for me and my business, and then who do I need in order to get that completed? Um, I always, people always ask, like, do I need to be on all social media platforms all the time? Like, do I really need that to succeed as a business owner? And I tell them, no, but where is your audience?

Marina [00:26:56]:

Yeah.

Larissa [00:26:57]:

So where it, where does your audience live? If they say Instagram, then I want you to show up 100% on Instagram instead of on all platforms. And you show up on Instagram 20%, because that doesn't build trust. And so if I had to make any recommendation, I would say, be on your preferred social media platform of choice. So Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, whatever that looks like. Maybe it's more, but at least have one, YouTube, because you need a place to house your videos. But also we know that's where people go to find longer form content and blogging. So if you can do at least those three, give or take, what social platform you want to be engaging on the most, then you can run a really effective content strategy that people return to, like, come back to and continue to watch your stuff.

Marina [00:27:48]:

No. 100%. And part of that, it's going back to blogging is dead. It's like, where are they finding you? They're not actually finding you on social media for the most part. They're going to engine somewhere else that then leads them to your social media.

Larissa [00:28:00]:

Absolutely right. They're like googling you or they're finding your website. And I think this is where people forget how important blogging is. Even if nobody ever reads your blog on your website, you want people to be able to find your website, right? And so for people who don't blog, you write your standard website copy, you put it on your site, and maybe you look at it and edit it twice a year. Maybe like, if it's really just functioning as a static site, and then Google has no way to re index your website, to move it higher and higher up in the search engine because it's not being updated. So every time you add a blog to your website, there is something new for Google to index, which slowly but surely moves you up on that search engine. And so even if nobody is reading your blog, at least it's doing that. At least it's doing that.

Marina [00:29:02]:

Yeah. So I have six SEO statistics I want to share that are pretty fascinating. So 300% more traffic website comes from search engines rather than social media. 300%. So, like, massive. Okay, eight times is how much more likely a lead from Google is to become a paying customer than a lead from a paid advertising. Okay. 72% of users click the top four search results and 75% never make it past the first page, which we know as consumers.

Marina [00:29:29]:

Like, I know page two.

Larissa [00:29:30]:

I never look at page three. Never?

Marina [00:29:33]:

Nope. Yeah. 53% of all website traffic comes from organic searches. So again, they're not finding you from another source. They're like, literally searching. 434% more pages are ranked on Google from companies that blog than from companies that don't blog. So again, 434%, like, that is huge. Last one is 70% of people start their online search session by Google.

Marina [00:29:56]:

So that's majority wins. Right. And again, where are people living? So for me, that's Instagram and Pinterest, actually, which I haven't gotten fully up to speed, but we are getting there.

Larissa [00:30:06]:

When we talked about that, it's such an interesting strategy. Like, Pinterest is such a interesting platform for people that it makes sense for. Right. And I think you are the perfect candidate, and probably a lot of your listeners are also the perfect candidate to use Pinterest as a, as an option. Because Pinterest kind of works like a search engine itself. It is, yeah. Every time you go to Pinterest, you're typing in what is the best recipe for buffalo chicken dip or hoses for senior photography. Right.

Larissa [00:30:41]:

So it's all of these possibilities. If you're a chef, put your recipe on there, the image that you place links back to your blog, and now they're trusting you. They're not just trusting Pinterest. You're a photographer. Same thing. Tips on how to buy a home. Like, link it to the real estate site. Especially if you're a woman in your early twenties to probably like mid fifties, early sixties, you're using Pinterest and you're using it for something and it's so untapped.

Larissa [00:31:13]:

Like, everybody needs to be on that platform.

Marina [00:31:16]:

No. I'm so excited to get this dialed in and get our systems going because again, we just missed the boat. I feel like for two years, like, we created all this content, over 200 videos on YouTube that were not fully utilized. And so now we got to play catch up, but we have content for days, like years now.

Larissa [00:31:32]:

Hey, the best thing about Pinterest is you could go and upload a million things today and there is no, like, feed to overwhelm people with it all on there. Like, if you have a day that you can carve out any entrepreneur, you have a day, pull all your old content, upload that stuff to Pinterest. Take the time and do it. It's like so worth it.

Marina [00:31:55]:

Now I want to have a Pinterest party and like invite a couple of my girlfriends and we all just pin for the whole freaking day at a coffee shop.

Larissa [00:32:01]:

Oh, my gosh, that would be like my dream. All I need is a latte and my computer and we could pinterest all day long.

Marina [00:32:09]:

And you're just living in canva. It's so easy to do it, you guys, like, it's literally like link it to your page, that then links to this, which then they get an email sign up from your website and you're collecting real live leads. Like, it's free. That's the best part. So exciting. So what do you kind of see for the rest of 2024? Like trends and personal brand? Like, what do you kind of hope for? What are you thinking?

Larissa [00:32:30]:

So I, what? I would love to see people, new people who are coming in and saying, do I have a personal brand? Do I need to leverage a personal brand? I would love for individuals to start seeing their personal brand as a piece of their business versus seeing it as two separate things because the people who are able to combine these two areas are the ones who are actually succeeding. What I see a lot with clients is they're like, I don't have time to build a personal brand because I have to be doing like, quote, money making activities. Yeah. And it's really easy, just like as an entrepreneur to be like, my schedule is full, I got to show houses. I got to do this. I don't have time to sit and do x, Y and z. When in reality, when you carve out a little bit of time, you start to realize that building of the reputation building of the personal brand is actually what's going to be what scales your business, what brings more people in. So even though this personal branding is like the long game, it really does pay off.

Larissa [00:33:43]:

And so I would love for more entrepreneurs to be like, yeah, I have a personal brand and it's like a vital part of my business. It's not a separate business. So I think it's a little bit misinterpreted just in general. So really seeing people step into that and being like, yeah, I am the brand, it's me. And then that my company or my business is just my business model. I want the mindset shift to actually take place for people. And I think it's just a really important reminder to be like, I may sell my company, I may join a different company. I'm not saying me or you, but in general, if you left the work you did today, what would you have? You would have you.

Larissa [00:34:33]:

And so you have to start paying attention to how you're showing up.

Marina [00:34:37]:

Yeah. And I think I've heard some crazy statistics about, like, how most people are switching jobs every three to five years. So, I mean, we're absolutely going to keep evolving. And, like, I doubt that I'll be doing this in 20 years. Like, I just have ideas and so much vision that I don't know that I'll be doing transactions in ten years from now, you know?

Larissa [00:34:54]:

Right. Like, who, who really knows? Who knows where? But if we know who Marina is, who her character is, what she does for people, how she treats clients, the connections she makes, like, that's going to translate into any job, any business model, anything that you create next. And I think that should be the mindset and focus for entrepreneurs, not only in 2024, but, like, every year that is coming.

Marina [00:35:21]:

Yeah, totally. Okay, so what is the call to action for people who are like, yes, I need one or I need to work on it? What are they supposed to do?

Larissa [00:35:27]:

So if you're looking to start a personal brand, I would say, well, you already have one. It's there. You may just not be working on it or being intentional about it. So the question is, what first intentional thing can I do to really be in the driver's seat of my personal brand? And, well, you could come work with brand builders group if you wanted some help. We offer free strategy calls for new, interested clients. So if you're looking to say, hey, I want to learn more, or I want to see if I would be a good option to start putting some intentional effort. You can visit the brand builders group website. I can get a link to Marina so you guys can sign up for a free call.

Larissa [00:36:12]:

But I would. The first question I would ask myself is, who are the people, the type of people I want to be of service to? Because if you are showing up to business or showing up to your brand with a really, like, servant mindset, it's more natural and it's sustainable. So who are the people you want to be of service to? And if you can get really clear on that, then every day when you show up to work, you show up with a different attitude. You show up more authentically, whether that be when you're making content or when you're on the phone or when you're making sales calls, like, whatever that may be, if you know who it is, you're going to treat them different you're going to treat them with care. And so I think that would be the first question I would ask myself.

Marina [00:37:03]:

That's so good. And I'll just do a quick plug for brand builders, too. I mean, it's not just what you're going to learn in the courses and with the coaches, it's the community. So how many members are we at now? Like, oh, 600 last time I heard.

Larissa [00:37:16]:

Yeah. So I think at the end of, we do our, what we call our state of the month, our state of the company monthly meeting. And so at the beginning of April, we were at like 876 or something like that. I know 876, like entrepreneurs that are doing this and just all sorts of team sizes, different kind of business models, different audiences, which is really cool. And being able to tap into like minded community, I think is also super important for any kind of entrepreneur because being an entrepreneur can be lonely. And if you don't have a coach or a friend or a spouse that understands this kind of stuff, it kind of feels like you're stuck in a silo. And so that's another recommendation I would make for any entrepreneurs that are trying to build a brand that they're proud of and staying consistent is you need to be in community, whether it's with your friend down the road or with a more formal group, you need to be talking about what you're doing.

Marina [00:38:22]:

Absolutely. And so I'll just say, like, this community is like a whole spectrum of talents and trades and everything, too. So we have authors, we have public speakers. I mean, there's like big names in there we have access to to say, hey, I want to help you. How can you help me? And vice versa. And like leads and needs and there's just so much collaboration going on, that huge value add that I don't think people talk about enough. But that's one of the things I'm most excited about. There's also in person virtual events, like so many things, it's just growing so cool.

Larissa [00:38:51]:

All kinds of events, working with the strategists, all kinds of things. I tell people all the time, it's like I have the best job in the world. Not because like, I get to meet all of these cool people, but because I get to learn from people who are just getting started and people who are big names already. The best part is I'm not a expert in every industry. Right there. There's no way I'm not an expert in every industry. But I love sitting back and saying, okay, hey, client, what are you going to teach me today, and they're like, do I really have to take you back to the basics? And I was like, yeah, I've never learned this before, and if you're going to teach it to somebody else, you might as well practice on me. Oh, my God, it's the best because I get to learn every single day, so.

Marina [00:39:41]:

Oh, my gosh, I can't wait to, like, look back on this in ten years and be like, remember when we were just starting and, like, all the things we didn't know yet, like, how fun. Um, okay, so we'll definitely have a link in the description below for everyone to click on that book. Your discovery call, like, 100%. I recommend it. It's free to you guys, so there's no risk to you. But just learn something and what's out there, and you'll probably come away with it, like, very inspired and encouraged to, like, take some action. So I think that's really good. Um, so we wrap up every episode with some rapid fire.

Marina [00:40:09]:

So I love it. What is your Starbucks order?

Larissa [00:40:13]:

Oh, okay. Y'all are going to hate me for this one, but it is a venti cold brew with lemonade. It tastes like an Arnold Palmer. It's an acquired taste, but, like, if you really need a shock of caffeine, venti cold brew, add lemonade.

Marina [00:40:30]:

Okay. I might try it just for the weird factor to be like. Larissa said it was good.

Larissa [00:40:35]:

It's an acquired. But it works.

Marina [00:40:37]:

That's funny. Okay, what do you make for dinner? If it's last minute and you're in a bind?

Larissa [00:40:42]:

Ooh. Always have some pasta and pesto in the fridge. So I am a pesto pasta girl and red pepper flakes. That's my go to.

Marina [00:40:54]:

Yeah. Awesome. What's your favorite go to department of target and your favorite designer?

Larissa [00:40:59]:

I am the catch me in the makeup section of target. I will always be in the makeup section of target. I am going to be buying all of the, like, skincare masks and all the things that I don't really need. So I don't really have a favorite brand, but I will definitely be in the makeup aisles of target.

Marina [00:41:18]:

Also, side note, I just saw Ulta is in target. Did you know? Yeah.

Larissa [00:41:22]:

Yes, I just saw. It's even worse, because I was like, now I can buy the minis from Ulta while I'm in target. It's a game changer.

Marina [00:41:30]:

More reason to spend $500. Okay. Name a book or a podcast you'd recommend to our audience and why.

Larissa [00:41:37]:

Ooh. Okay, so right now, I read a lot of books, and so I'm looking around. I have books everywhere because I'm a strategist on the author journey, so I get copies of everybody's books right now. I'm about to start worthy by Jamie Kern Lima. She just had a book launch recently. Yeah, I have it. It's right there on my chair. I haven't read it yet, but that's next on my list.

Larissa [00:42:00]:

Um, but currently, I am reading practicing the way by John Mark Comer. It's an amazing book. Doing that in a small. Yep, doing that in a small group with some new friends that I've made here in Nashville. So those are my two recommendations for right now. Um, I'm also listening to that on audiobook, um, for on Spotify. So that's kind of what's filling my. My podcasting time.

Larissa [00:42:24]:

But I will say that I listen to a lot of podcasts that are client podcasts, because that's what I do for a living. So I love a good pop culture podcast in the morning, like, while I'm doing my. My makeup or my hair. And so right now, I am on chicks in the office kick with Ria and Fran. If you're looking for pop culture, they're the gals for you.

Marina [00:42:47]:

Fun. That's awesome. And then just add on to dark or what's his name?

Larissa [00:42:52]:

John Mark Comer. Yeah.

Marina [00:42:53]:

So if you like that, John Bevere just came out with a book called the Awe of God. That's really, really cool audiobook, too, to, like, I will download when you're listening to it. Just super good storyteller.

Larissa [00:43:04]:

Love that. I'm going to put it on my list.

Marina [00:43:06]:

Yes. Okay. TikTok or Instagram?

Larissa [00:43:08]:

Tick tock.

Marina [00:43:10]:

Do you have a reason why?

Larissa [00:43:11]:

Uh, well, because in the last, like, seven months, I've gone viral a couple times on TikTok, and so I'm. I'm having fun, like, personally creating content for TikTok. Um, and it's, like me talking about the most random stuff. So don't. Don't do what I do. Take my actual personal branding advice and do it with some intention, but I just feel a weird, like, personally feel a weird pressure with Instagram to make it look good. And so with TikTok, I feel like I show up really authentic, and I'm having fun with it. So, like, right now, I'm on the TikTok train.

Larissa [00:43:44]:

Hopefully it doesn't get banned.

Marina [00:43:46]:

We'll see how that goes. Yeah.

Larissa [00:43:48]:

Okay.

Marina [00:43:48]:

Fun. Okay. And then where can people find you online? What's your handles?

Larissa [00:43:52]:

So if you're looking for me on Instagram, it is my first name. Last name. Larissa Salazar. No spaces, no nothing. If you're looking for me on TikTok, it is Larissa Salazar. Zero. Zero. That's my.

Larissa [00:44:03]:

That's my name. If you're looking for fun, TJ Maxx shopping content, follow me on TikTok. That's. That's my. What I do on my Saturday mornings.

Marina [00:44:14]:

It's very entertaining and so good. Yep. Well, thank you, my dear, for your time. I know you're busy. Busy. We really appreciate it, and I just want more people to know. Larissa, like, you, are just amazing and a beautiful creature. So thank you for blessing us today, and I'll see you soon.

Larissa [00:44:27]:

Thank you so much for having me.

Dive into the world of smart skincare with Dr. Mary Alice Mina on the latest episode of "Work Like A Mother Podcast." Discover the truths behind skincare myths, learn about the effectiveness of retinol, and unwrap the importance of sunscreen with our expert. Marina Tolentino spices up the conversation by discussing her mentorship for entrepreneurs and strategies to tackle professional overwhelm. Whether you’re seeking simplicity in your skincare routine or aiming to elevate your business, this episode offers essential advice for working women everywhere. Tune in as we debunk common skincare fallacies and share tips for maintaining timeless beauty at every age. Don't miss out on this blend of business acumen and skincare wisdom—perfect for anyone looking to thrive both personally and professionally. Access the episode now for your guide to smarter living and professional success!

Mentioned in this episode:

The Influential Personal Brand Podcast

Dr. Mary Alice Mina

https://www.theskinreal.com/

IG: https://www.instagram.com/drminaskin

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

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Transcript:

Marina [00:00:00]:

Skin minimalism. It's like we see influencers who have a 20 step nighttime routine and a 15 minutes morning routine and, like, this whole thing. Why is less more like, tell me about.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:00:10]:

I use products from the drugstore, which people are, like, horrified sometimes when I tell them that. Keep it simple. You know, there's this big push for clean beauty. And in my opinion, clean beauty also means less.

Marina [00:00:23]:

The issue is trust. And we're in this influencer society where anyone can become an expert when they have a bottle in their hand, right? If they're just naturally beautiful, they have good skin. But it's genetics.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:00:31]:

More than anything, I wish more women understood that it's okay for things to change. We're not allowed to age. We're not allowed to get more distinguished with age like men. We have this, like, unrealistic expectation to stay looking 25 forever.

Marina [00:00:54]:

Okay, so today I have the one and only miss Mary Alice Mina. And she's an incredible woman to start. So I just read a quick backstory on her and a woman of many talents, but her main specialty is skincare. And I think really just giving an overview of what's right, what's wrong, and how do we make sense of all the messy middle. So you are a Harvard trained, double board certified dermatologist and dermatologist surgeon and a leading expert on skin health. Cutinous. Am I saying that right? Cutaneous.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:01:26]:

Cutaneous, yeah.

Marina [00:01:28]:

Aesthetics and skincare. And the host of the Skin Real podcast show we got introduced, the brand Builders Group, which is an incredible community of entrepreneurs. And you're a mom to a ten year old boy and a nine year old girl. So welcome to the show, Doctor Mina. Thank you for being here.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:01:46]:

Thank you so much for having me. I'm thrilled to be here. I love this podcast. I wish it were around ten years ago when my kids were little and I was a younger professional trying to really grow.

Marina [00:01:57]:

Yeah, absolutely. And I think this is the cool thing about the Internet, is we can connect with people like you, who. I mean, you're in Georgia, right?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:02:04]:

I think, yeah, yeah, you're in Hawaii.

Marina [00:02:06]:

And make this happen and share insight with these women across the nation, which is really awesome. So I want to dive in today, first off, with some myth busting because I feel like there's just so much misinformation and stereotypes and everything and just, who knows? Media, whatever. Like, give me some of your myth busting things that you talk to clients about.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:02:26]:

Oh, gosh, I feel like I actually just released a podcast on this because I ask these questions all the time, and it's overwhelming, as you know, and your listeners know, all the information out there, do this, do that, don't do this, do that. I mean, it's really conflicting, it's confusing. And that's really my goal with starting this podcast, because I know it's hard to get in to see a dermatologist, to really get good information about skincare. And so I want to at least be a voice, maybe a small voice out there on like, well, what do you really, really need to do? Because I don't like to waste time, I don't like to waste money, and I want to see results. So, gosh, I mean, there, there's so many myths out there. Um, uh, you know, it's like, where to begin? Um, I would say one, one thing that seems to be really popular right now is this, um, whole trend towards non toxic products, which, I mean, yes, that sounds great. No one wants to put toxic products on their skin, but it's gone kind of too far where people think anything natural is good or better. And there are a lot of, like, home remedies.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:03:37]:

And I get it. I put on an avocado mask on my face when I was a teenager. And so people are wanting to do kind of dIy, and they think, oh, apple's vinegar, like, that's natural. That can't harm my skin. It's flaxseed. That's natural. That's going to be a great substitute for botox. So I.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:04:01]:

There's this misconception that, oh, if it's natural, it has to be good, it has to be better, and it can't be unsafe. And that's really the main thing, is that, I mean, it's okay if you want to put avocado on your face, but I wouldn't recommend apple cider vinegar because that actually can burn your skin, the acid in it, and cause problems. So, um, I do see that a lot, that people just think it's natural, it can't harm me. But I'll usually say, well, you know, arsenic is. Is natural, mercury is natural, poison ivy is natural. And these are all things we would not want to put on our skin.

Marina [00:04:37]:

And as you're saying that, it just makes me think the issue is trust, right? And we're in this influencer society where anyone can become an expert when they have a bottle in their hand, right? If they're just naturally beautiful, they have good skin. Let's just say, like, I've always been complimented on my skin. I don't do much. I'm a very simple person, but it's genetics more than anything. Um, and so I could say, do this remedy and you're gonna. Someone's gonna go buy it, but I might not have ever tried the freaking product, and I'm just being endorsed. Right? So how do people find that trust factor? Like, what steps would you recommend before they actually go buy the product or do the thing? Like, what's the steps you would go through to filter that?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:05:10]:

Yeah, you're. You are so spot on, right? It's so easy for really anyone to have an audience, have a platform, and put themselves out there as an expert. And celebrities are a great example, right? They're beautiful. They devote their life to, and they have money, right, to invest in all these procedures and the latest things and exercise and all this stuff that normal, regular people don't have access to. And so they do look beautiful. They look amazing. And then they sponsor, they're sponsored by a company, and they promote this product. And so, of course, you're like, well, I want to look as beautiful as that person, and that person's probably not even using the product honestly, right? They're just getting paid by the company.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:05:55]:

So you're. You're so spot on with that. And there's so many, you know, influencers out there, and it's. It is hard to know who to trust. So, I mean, my advice would be, do your due diligence. I find that people will research the heck out of a light bulb, a battery, what? I don't even know what. Like, they'll research the heck out of a product they're gonna buy on Amazon, and then they don't really research who they are seen for their skin advice or their cosmetic treatments. It really blows my mind how people have this, this sort of blanket trust that, oh, well, my friend saw this person, or this person has a big audience on TikTok.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:06:34]:

They must be good. And they don't even really know. Well, what is their training? Um. Are they, are they even a medical professional? Um. And I'm just amazed how people just put this trust in someone they don't really know their credentials or their level of training. And with cosmetic stuff, I mean, you don't have to get it done, right. And so there's really no error for, or no margin for error, right. You want to look better, not worse, or have complications.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:07:02]:

So I would say do your due diligence, right. Just like you're researching to buy something. Um, talk to the. Find out where the person, you know, first of all, are they a doctor, are they a nurse? Are they a medical professional at all? What kind of training have they received? A lot of people will have certificates from, like, a weekend course where they learned how to inject Botox or do whatever procedure. And. And so you want to. You want to be seeing the person who does it all the time, who has a lot of training. If you have a darker skin, you want to make sure that person is trained in procedures in skin of color, because you can have more complications with pigmentation and scarring, and you want to make sure that they're not just trying to sell you something because they have it and it isn't necessarily the right product for you.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:07:50]:

So it's just being, you know, kind of think, well, is, you know, is this person really acting in my best interest, or are they just trying to make a sale? What are their credentials? How many of these procedures do they do? Those are all things I'd recommend asking before getting a treatment, a procedure. And if you're following people on social media, again, just kind of think, is this person really an expert, or are they just really popular and really beautiful?

Marina [00:08:19]:

Yeah. And I think the thing about social media, too, is it's so quick, and it's so easy to buy now from the app. You don't have to leave Instagram or leave TikTok to get a product. It's so easy. So I would say instead of that, add it to the cart. But before you buy it, go back on your computer and then start to look at reviews, go to someone's LinkedIn bio, and, like, are they actually a professional, or is it just the bio on their link? Right. Um, so I think that's huge, but absolutely. And I think just leading into the next topic about skin minimalism, it's like we see influencers who have a 20 step nighttime routine and a 15 minutes morning routine, and, like, this whole thing.

Marina [00:08:55]:

What? Why is less more, like, tell me about.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:08:59]:

For so many reasons, so many reason. So I'm, you know, a self proclaimed, very basic skincare person, and I use products from the drugstore, which people are, like, horrified sometimes, and I tell them that, but I'm not just using crappy products. Just because it's from the drugstore doesn't mean these, you know, neutrogena, aveeno, Larouche, posay. These are massive companies, and they have huge R and D budgets, and they do studies on it, and the products are tested. So, you know, this is not just, like, getting, like, the cheapest thing out there. I'm getting quality products, but there is this misconception that you have to spend a lot of money and you have to use a lot of things. And there are a number of reasons why I don't recommend that. Number one, you don't need it.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:09:45]:

So it's kind of a waste. It's a waste of your time, it's a waste of your money. But if that doesn't make you not want to do it, then it can make the products less effective. So when you are piling on tons of stuff, they can counter counteract each other. You know, one, then you aren't getting the benefit of the first product because you put on the second product and they can become ineffective. And then they can also be irritated and they can maybe clog your pores and actually worsen your skin, which is the exact opposite of what you're trying to do. So I always say, keep it simple. You know, there's this big push for clean beauty.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:10:24]:

And in my opinion, clean beauty also means less. Less waste, less products, less things to throw away. And you don't need a complicated routine. And if people listening are busy moms like you and I, right, who has time for a complicated routine at the end of the day or in the morning? And I just want people to know that you don't have to do that. You can free yourself of that. Take one less thing off your plate and just keep it really, really basic. And you can still have beautiful skin. I promise.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:10:58]:

Love it.

Marina [00:10:58]:

Yeah.

Marina [00:10:59]:

Hey, ladies, real quick, if you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're spiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm, mostly. And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantom leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you. So if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com.

Marina [00:11:45]:

And there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level. Let's dive back in.

Marina [00:11:57]:

What would you say is, like, morning routine and must dos like bare minimums and then night routine bare minimums for someone in their thirties like me?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:12:04]:

Okay. Yeah. So it does depend, I don't like to necessarily divide it out by age per se, because there. Yeah, but, yeah, I get what you're saying. Like, someone in your thirties especially, you know, you're probably gotten over a lot of the acne that can happen in the teenage years, and you might be starting to think about anti aging and you might be going through pregnancies. And so really, the basic skincare for, I would say someone in their thirties would be a gentle cleanser. And if you tend to have oily skin, you're going to want to go with something that's more like a gel kind of cleanser or something that's for acne prone skin. Or if you tend to have more oily skin.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:12:46]:

Now, if you have dry skin, go with something that's a little more nourishing, a little more creamy. You could even double cleanse if you want. If you tend to have really dry, sensitive skin and use an oil based cleanser first and then follow up with, with a regular cleanser, but gentle cleanser. And again, I'm not a, you know, there are plenty of people who don't wash their face in the morning, so I'm okay with that. If you don't want to wash your face in the morning, you could just splash some water on if you like. Um, but you have to wash your face at night, right? That is non negotiable.

Marina [00:13:17]:

Makeup off.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:13:18]:

Yes. Get the makeup off. Even if you don't wear makeup, you've got your sunscreen, hopefully a product, any products on from the day, but you also have just the, the dirt and grime from the day. You have oil buildup. You have skin buildup on your face, and it's just good to cleanse that off. So definitely wash at night, but in the morning, moisturizer. And for a lot of people, if you tend to have oily skin, your sunscreen sometimes can be that moisturizer, so you don't necessarily need a separate one. But if you tend to have dry skin, then you're going to want to do a moisturizer.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:13:53]:

And then, of course, sunscreen, you have to do sunscreen. Um, SPF 30 or higher. This is going to make the biggest impact in your, how your skin looks in your fifties, your sixties, your seventies, and, um, and help prevent things like skin cancer. And, um, for people who want to get a little fancy, you can add a vitamin C serum in the morning. So you'll want to put that on right before you do your moisturizer or sunscreen. And that's a great way to also combat that oxidative stress from uv radiation from the sun. It can help even out your pigmentation and just keep your skin refreshed. So that's kind of all you need for the morning routine.

Marina [00:14:33]:

Love it. Yeah. Okay. And then nighttime, we're going to wash it off. Do we got to layer on things too or can we just moisturize?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:14:41]:

So it's really up to you? So, um, in the evening, you're going to want to wash your face. If you do wear a lot of makeup or you wear a lot of waterproof makeup or waterproof sunscreen, or I should say water resistant sunscreen, you may find that you need to either do a double cleanse. And so this is basically just using micellar water or an oil based cleanser first to really help get that makeup off, and then follow up with your regular gentle cleanser and, and then you can just do them. Moisturizer. If you want to get fancy, then you can do like a, well, I shouldn't even say fancy, right? Like, so you want to use a vitamin a cream. So people probably know this as a retinol or a retinoid. The retinol you can think of as the over the counter variety and then the retinoid is a stronger one and that is a prescription strength. And I think if you can get on, if you can get started with one of these in your thirties and you may even have been on it in your twenties for, for acne.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:15:38]:

But if you can start this now, again, just like with sunscreen, it's really going to make a huge impact on your skin for decades to come. It's a really powerful collagen booster. It helps even out your skin, your skin tone, any dark spots on your face, helps with cell turnover and helps unclog pores if you have acne. So it's really a great product. And in the grand scheme of things, it's super affordable and you don't have to spend a lot. I mean, you can just get a prescription or the over the counter and just do that. If not every night, do it a couple nights a week, and it really makes a big impact. And that's really it.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:16:20]:

Like, that's. That's my morning and evening skincare routine.

Marina [00:16:25]:

I mean, I love it. I've seen the retinol on the shelf, but I always think, and maybe this is because, like, in my brain, I'm 25 forever, I'm like, that's for old people. Like, I don't need that yet. I'm hearing you say, like, you should absolutely do it. It's for everybody. There's a couple nights a week. That sounds really great.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:16:40]:

Yeah. Start it before you think you need it because it doesn't work overnight. And I'll tell people it's like, weight loss. You don't just eat a salad for a couple days. And I'm like, why haven't I lost ten pounds?

Marina [00:16:51]:

Right.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:16:51]:

So you have to. It works slowly, and so you want to start it before you really think you need it, and you will see the benefits.

Marina [00:17:00]:

That's good to know. Talk to me about expiration dates. Like, do products expire? What does that look like? Because I think for all of us, we, we've binged all the things, right? Because we've been told to buy all this, and then before we know it, we have 50 products in our cabinets. Like.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:17:14]:

I hear you. I was actually just thinking, working with my social media va on a post about spring cleaning, because you're so. You're so right. Like, products do expire. These ingredients, they don't last forever. And it's. It is easy. I don't use a lot of products, but I am sent a lot of products.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:17:34]:

So I have a closet in my bathroom full of stuff, thinking, like, I need to go through and give away or if it's not expired or throw it away if they are. So, yeah, this stuff doesn't last forever. And this, I'm not sure when this is going to air, but it's springtime, right when we're recording. And so now's a good time to kind of go through your cabinet, look at stuff, and figure out if you haven't used it in a year, you're probably not going to use it. So maybe gift it, give it away, or, um, if it's expired, throw it away, get a new one if you use it. But, um, things do expire, so don't be using, like, a five year old sunscreen. Yeah. Um, the other thing to remember, too, like, these products can degrade in the heat.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:18:17]:

So sunscreen, uh, I used to leave it in my car, thinking that was a great way to always have it with me. And then it just like, you know, did not look good. Um, and it's, it can break down. So if you've left things in the hot car, get rid of it. Um, there's been a recent study about benzene from benzoyl peroxide products that were in, um, left in really high temperatures. And so any benzoyl peroxide type product, uh, if it's been sitting somewhere really, really hot, just get rid of it, get a new one. Um, but yeah, don't do, look at those. They, they are on the bottles.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:18:52]:

If you look and if you know it's sitting in your back, your closet and you haven't used it, you're probably not. So.

Marina [00:18:59]:

Yeah, absolutely. I think we could all free up some space and make room for something else.

Marina [00:19:04]:

Hey guys, I hope you're enjoying the podcast, but real quick, if you are someone that's super overwhelmed and you're worrying, how the heck am I supposed to do all this stuff, I want to tell you, I have a really good four week course for you. It's called core values of your calendar. It's super succinct to the point, filled with stories about how I've overcome, overwhelmed myself and the strategies and tools I use today to do all the things that I'm doing today. So I've been there, I've seen it. I mean, I still see it on my feed today. All the influencers who are telling us do this, sell more, be more, post twelve times a day, right? And it's freaking impossible. And so I want you to go to marinatolentino.com, scroll down and look for the course again. It's called core values of your calendar.

Marina [00:19:42]:

Read it, see if it's right for you. But I would love for you to dive in and literally implement the tools and systems and strategies that I've learned over the years that have paid thousands of dollars in coaching to get this information and give it to you in this course. Check that out and we'll get right back to the podcast.

Marina [00:19:56]:

Okay, next topic I want to get into is the c word, the cancer. And especially being in Hawaii where we're really close to the equator, I mean, all of us wear sunscreen, I like to say, but I mean, we don't reapply, that's for sure. And then what are some of like the best ways to prevent it besides sunscreen? Is there other things we can do?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:20:14]:

Yeah. So I'm glad you brought this up because I feel like sometimes this gets sort of pushed down the list of importance, and I see and treat a lot of skin cancers. And the number one I hear, number one thing I hear my patients say who are in their seventies, eighties, nineties, they'll say, we never had Sunscreen. We didn't know about this. And they'll say, I wish I had known. I wish I had known. So that's why I'm really passionate about getting the message out to people in teenagers, twenties, thirties, forties. Like, it's, it's not too late.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:20:44]:

And sunscreen is a great way to protect yourself from the sun. It, you know, I'm sitting right now in my office. There's a window is a lot of uva rays that are still coming through the window because it's sunny and the sun is setting over there. So people will say, well, I don't, I'm not outside, but even sitting inside by a window, you're exposed to those Uva rays. Um, not reapplying is a huge problem, and it's something I struggle with as well. So I, you guys, I, I'm with you on that, too. It's hard. It is really hard, especially when you're hot, you're sweaty, you're wet from swimming.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:21:19]:

It's like the last thing you want to do is put more sunscreen on. But it, it really does need to be reapplied every 2 hours or after swimming or sweating if you want it to be effective. Now, I also, I'm not, and people find this funny, but I don't love putting stuff on my skin. Um, so I don't love, like, smearing sunscreen on either. But I, of course, I do it every day and I, and I try to reapply, but one of the things I love is sun protective clothing. And if I was in Hawaii, I would. Or when I went to Hawaii, right. I love the, like, sun shirts, the rash guards.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:21:54]:

Like, my whole family wears them. I feel like there's a lot of cute clothing out there. They have like, little shawls you can throw on if you don't necessarily want to mess up your outfit with a shirt. And I always have a hat. A hat with a brim, like about like a three inch brim. And that way, if I have makeup on, I don't have to mess it up when I reapply. Um, you do just have to be careful, you know, if you're swimming and you got your hat on, it will reflect off the water. But I love sun protective clothing.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:22:24]:

Look for a UPF factor of 50. That's going to give you about 98% protection from the sun and the clothing. I know it sounds like, oh, my gosh, like, I don't want to wear long sleeves in, in the heat of the summer, but it's like, um, athletic wear nowadays or yoga clothes, right? They wick away the sweat and they really actually keep you cooler than if you just had the sun, like, beating directly on you. So, yeah, I mean, the more you can be aware of that, sit in the shade instead of right under the sun, have an umbrella. Like, those are all, like, great ways to prevent not just sun damage that can cause aging, but sun damage that can cause skin cancers. And the sun damage for skin cancers, it's cumulative. So it's slowly, like, adds up over the years. And so you may be fine for 40, 50 years, but if you are getting a lot of sun, it can and can and will catch up to you.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:23:25]:

So the more proactive you can be, like, in your thirties, the better.

Marina [00:23:29]:

That's a good reminder. And even as a mom, I'm thinking I am horrible about reapplying it on my kids. And so I just need to be mindful of, like, like, I noticed year old has freckles that are building, and I'm like, I really need to put sunscreen on his face every day because I don't right now. Just, like, out of sight, out of mind. I take care of myself, but I don't put it on.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:23:44]:

Yeah, you know, I hear you. It is hard with kids. And that's why I do love, like, the bathing suits. And I laugh. Cause my ten year old, he thinks it's, like, indecent to not wear a sun shirt. So even inside or in an indoor pool, he always has his sunshirt on. And my kids are now old enough that they can start putting it on themselves. So what I do is I leave bathroom a little.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:24:09]:

They like the stick sunscreen. They find that it rubs on. Um, they like, it's not as cold and they like it, so they will, you know, now in the morning before school, they put their sunscreen stick on and, um, you know, I still have to, like, wrangle them at the beach and stuff like that because, um, you know, but it is a struggle, the struggles real with children. But that's why I do love the clothing, because then I at least know, okay, like, I don't have to necessarily rub it in every little nook and cranny. They've got the shirt on now.

Marina [00:24:39]:

That's true. What's the brand of the sticky like?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:24:41]:

Oh, gosh. Um, I think right now we're using neutrogena. They like that one. It's a mineral based sunscreen, and I've tried the ulta one I like. Um, I also love sprays for kids. So, um, the trick with sprays is don't just spray it directly on the kids. Spray it on your hands and then kind of rub them. And then.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:25:01]:

And then spray it. Um, or then rub it on them. Or if you do spray it directly on them, make sure you rub it in. But sprays are good for covering, like, a wide surface area, too.

Marina [00:25:10]:

Yeah. Um, yeah, that's good. Okay, so super good advice about sunscreen, I think. Next thing I want to know, and this is a selfish question, but, like, does everyone need to see a dermatologist or just certain people? And how often do we need to see one? Like, I. The misconception in my head is I only need to go if there's a problem. Right.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:25:27]:

Yeah. Well, and you. You're not wrong, right. Um, the reason I would. I would say it's good to kind of establish a relationship with the dermatologist is that when you get something weird or funky or a rash, you've got, you know, you're already an established patient, it's usually much easier to get in and, um, you know, because that kind of stuff comes up. Right. And you don't want to have this horrible rash, and then you can't get in to see them for a couple of months. So that would be one reason to kind of get established earlier.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:25:59]:

I would say people who have had a lot of sun, maybe even have, like, a lot of moles, a lot of freckling, they should probably get in just for all over check, make sure there's nothing funny going on. And then the dermatologist will probably say, you know, annual checks for someone who has not had a lot of sun damage, not a lot of moles, they should probably check in every few years. But if you're interested in sort of like, well, how do I keep my skin healthy and youthful, or you're interested in, like, cosmetic stuff, then getting sort of established before you really think you need it is helpful as well. But I know it's hard to see dermatologists. I think there's only, like, 10,000 of us in the US, and they're booked up and everything. So that's kind of why I say just, like, get that foot in the door. So that when you do have a rash or something weird pops up, um, you can get in to see them, but the, the biggest thing would be people with a lot of sun damage, I would say, really, by the time you're 40, if you've never been to the dermatologist, you should probably go see a dermatologist just to make sure there's nothing, um, you know, hidden or on your back or in your scalp. Um, and then if you've had a lot of sun damage or you have a lot of moles or you have a personal or family history of skin cancers or melanomas, and you're going to want to be seen a little more regularly.

Marina [00:27:24]:

Yeah, that's a really good reminder. And I love the 40. If you haven't done it yet, let's do it once. That's good.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:27:29]:

Yes.

Marina [00:27:30]:

You mentioned some cosmetic stuff, so let's kind of roll into that. Like, I feel like it's all over the place where everyone's getting botox and everyone's doing this and fillers and whatever. Like, what's your overall advice for that?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:27:41]:

Yeah, so it's, it's all. It's such a personal choice. And I think sometimes this can be really polarizing. Like, oh, you're. You're putting toxins in your face, and then other people are really, you know, they're really health conscious, but they, they love their botox, and there's everyone in the. In the middle. Um, I personally love botox. I think it's a great product.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:28:01]:

It's, um, it makes your skin brighter, and, um, there's just like a glow you get from it, I think, where people get scared, a, it has the word, you know, toxin in it, but it is. I like to joke. I mean, it is a totally natural product. It is from clostridium bacteria, and that produces this natural toxin. And people have been trying to harness it for decades and centuries, mostly for combat and war, to paralyze your opponent. But what's funny is some ophthalmologists were using it to treat a condition called strabismus, where the muscles get really, really tight in the eye and they can't see clearly. And when they were injecting it around the eye, they noticed that the people couldn't scale as easily. And they would tell the people, oh, you're good.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:28:56]:

You know, we've treated your strabismus. You don't need to come back anymore. And the people would say, no, but I want to come back because you smoothed out my lines here. And that's when they kind of put two and two together, like, oh, my gosh, you know, this is also helping those muscles there. Um, so it's, it, there's been, there's so much data on it. It's, it's being used for medical things, is being used for cosmetic stuff. Um, so I think it's a great, especially if you're just thinking about getting procedures. It's a great one to start with.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:29:22]:

It's not permanent, so if you don't like it, you don't need to continue on with it. But it's totally up to you. Right? Like, it's natural to have wrinkles. So if that's not your jam, don't do it. Don't feel pressure to do it just because your friends are getting it. But I would say the time to start, if you're wondering, you people talk about, like, baby botox and stuff like that. Um, it's, I would say it's a waste to do it before you start having lines that don't go away when. So it works on what we call dynamic muscles.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:29:53]:

So when you're, like, raising your eyebrows or scowling, it will soften those expressions. But when you start to notice that those forehead lines don't go away, even though you bring your eyebrows down or, like, the. Around your eyes that, um, we call them the crow's feet, those lines stay there even when you're not squinting. That's when you, you know, not before, but that's when you should start thinking about, well, maybe. Yeah, maybe I'll, I'll try it out. And it wears off in about three to four months. You probably get a little more longevity the more consistently you do it. So if you don't like it, you don't ever have to do it again.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:30:27]:

But it's, it's kind of like coloring your hair. It's a little more of a commitment and upkeep because it does wear off.

Marina [00:30:34]:

Sure. Yeah. That's good to know. What's your thoughts on facials? Are they a scam? Should everyone do them? Like, what's the thing? Like, they're expensive. To me, it's like the same as a massage. So I'm like, when do I.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:30:46]:

This is my personal thing. First of all, I have never had a facial in my life, okay? So. And people are like, you've never had a facial? But to your point, if I. They're expensive, I don't really know what it would do for me. So I don't have a lot of clogged pores and stuff like that.

Marina [00:31:03]:

I.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:31:03]:

So to me, um, if I, you know, people say, well, it feels good, but, you know, I would rather get a massage, honestly. So if I, and I, if they're equivalent in price, I'm going to go with a massage all day, every day. Again, I don't like a lot of stuff being put on my skin. Um, if you're doing it because you think it feels good and you like how your skin looks afterwards, great. But is that really going to be like, what totally treats your acne? No, they're better things. And, and I just think if you're going to spend, I don't know, $100 or however much they are there, there are other procedures I would personally rather do, and I feel like you would get more bang for your buck, but if you like how they feel and you think they're helping your skin, there's no harm in it. But, yeah, I guess I have to say, I've never personally had one, so I can't really elaborate more than that.

Marina [00:31:51]:

So I actually grew up in a beauty salon. My mom's a nail artist, and then there was a facialist in the building, and so she would barter nails for facial. And so in middle school, I would go like once a month. I was so spoiled. I was like, I had this great skin anyways, I didn't need it. So it was more like a massage and an experience than anything. But now as an adult, I'm like, I really have to question, is it worth the 120, the $150, or would I rather go to the spa and get the whole day's experience with the massage instead?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:32:20]:

Yeah, I'll take the full body massage any day. Or to me, I would say, think about doing something like micro needling. Right? I mean, cost wise, they're pretty similar. And micro needling is going to like, help boost collagen and even out scarring. Um, it's just going to give you a little more, um, impact. So, you know, it, that's what I would, I would choose. I just think there are other things you can do if you're really looking to amp up your skin.

Marina [00:32:47]:

Yeah, okay. That's good advice. Um, okay, last advice is, what's something you wish more women understood and actually lived out?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:32:54]:

Oh, gosh. Um, I wish more women understood that it's okay for things to change. You are going to look back on pictures of yourself in your twenties, and I'm in my almost mid forties. Right. So you're going to look back at pictures and you're going to be like, oh, my gosh, like, I can't believe how young I look. Right. But when you're in the moment. You never feel that way, right? You never.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:33:19]:

When you were 30, you didn't feel that young. Um, and now I look back at pictures in my thirties, and I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, I didn't, like, appreciate what I had then. And I think we're super, super critical, especially as women. And it's not all our fault, right? There's so much pressure to look a certain way, to have it all together. We're not allowed to age. We're not allowed to get more distinguished with age like men. We have this, like, unrealistic expectation to stay looking 25 forever.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:33:50]:

And a lot of the stuff we're consuming online, and we see this, this filtered life, these filtered people that are not. It's not real, but we're trying to live to that standard. And it's super frustrating. It's super discouraging. And so I just wish we could focus more on healthy skin and not so much on fighting every line, fighting every change that we see, because it can get to be a slippery slope. And I'm. I'm not a natural. Like, I like, I like doing aesthetic treatments and stuff like that, but it should be sort of the icing on the cake, and it shouldn't be this relentless pursuit for youth, because you're just always going to be disappointed.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:34:36]:

And that's no way to live.

Marina [00:34:38]:

No, it's an uphill battle. And even so, I started getting, like, white hairs around my temples, and I'm like, oh, no, it's coming right. Um, so I've started to dye my hair every, like, three months. But it is. It's something I have to keep up now. And if I'm adding more and more and more, and then it's like, what is the point? This is an uphill battle. But I've started. I don't know if it's just being 35 this year or whatever.

Marina [00:34:57]:

I'm starting to see women who have gray hair or, like, they've gone full white. And instead of, like, a criticizing, I'm appreciative of it. And it's a different kind of beauty that we don't see enough. So when we see it, it's really rare. And it's like, whoa, that's what a salt and pepper head looks like. I haven't seen one of those in two months. Like, they're so rare. Everyone colors their hair nowadays.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:35:15]:

Yeah, now I color my hair. I haven't quite gotten to the point where I'm like, okay, I can do this. But, yes, I love that we are seeing different examples of beauty.

Marina [00:35:27]:

Right.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:35:27]:

We're seeing different ethnicities, different. It's no longer that sort of cookie cutter. And we still have a long way to go, trust me. Right? Like, I'm not saying it's all perfect, but I'm with you. I follow a lot of these women who are silver, and they have beautiful, beautiful hair, and I love that. And I hope we see more of that. And as I start to, you know, hit perimenopause and menopause and beyond, like, I want to. I want to be a good example, too, for my daughter that, yes, I want to look and feel my best, but it's okay to maybe have some gray hair or have some wrinkles or, you know, it's okay that my cheeks aren't super full like they were at 25, that it's okay for things to change and.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:36:13]:

And to sort of work within the parameters of whatever stage of life we're in. So, yeah, I just. I think sometimes we're. I don't think. I know. We're so hard on ourselves. We're so critical, and, you know, we would. We talk to ourselves so harshly at times that we never talk to someone else the way we talk to ourselves.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:36:33]:

So I do hope that we start to appreciate aging a little bit more and also just, like, learn how to maximize our health for as long as possible, too.

Marina [00:36:46]:

So good. Yep. Longevity, the whole thing. Living a full present life is so important. This is so good. I hope everyone took notes. Like, honestly, they need to go back and relisten and take a bunch of notes with some of the things you recommended, like morning routine and stuff. Do you have a shop or a resource with all of those products you like to recommend or anything like that?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:37:03]:

Yeah, I do. So I've got lots of great information on my website, the skinreal.com shop for the store. And then also, if you are like, what do I do for creating healthy skin habits for myself? You can get a. I have a PDF that you can download, and it's at theskinreal.com habits. And I think that just gives some good advice on figuring out what kind of skin you have, what. What skin type you have, and then what. What you should be doing for your particular skin needs.

Marina [00:37:36]:

Amazing. Yep. And everyone needs to go follow you on social media, too, and listen podcast. It's going to be so good. Well, every end of the episodes, I like to do a rapid fire. So just some fun Q and A to, like, get to know you a little bit better. But what is your Starbucks order?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:37:50]:

Oh, my gosh, you know what? I don't go to Starbucks, but if I did, I always. I have my. My mug with me. I make my coffee at home. I always have. But I would just be a, like, medium dark roast with a little bit of whole milk.

Marina [00:38:06]:

Easy. So simple. What do you make for dinner if it's last minute and you're in a bind?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:38:11]:

Oh, gosh, I guess whatever is in the house. But I used to be vegetarian up until about three months ago, and so there'd be some sort of vegetables. I love salads. Some sort of salad. I did eat fish, so I guess pescatarian. So I'd probably, like, thaw some frozen salmon and whip up a quick salad.

Marina [00:38:33]:

Easy. Love it. What's your favorite? Go to department. And do you have a favorite designer?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:38:39]:

Go to department.

Marina [00:38:40]:

Oh, of target. Sorry.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:38:42]:

Oh, my gosh. Well, I don't really go to target either.

Marina [00:38:46]:

You're so good.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:38:48]:

Well, I just find it is, I am not a shopper, I have to say. And so, yeah, like, I'm trying to think and really, I try to go online. I really try to avoid going actually into the store, but I know I sound really boring, but I really don't go to target either.

Marina [00:39:06]:

You have boundaries. That's what you have. Awesome. Okay. Name a book or a podcast you'd recommend to the audience and why?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:39:15]:

Oh, well, of course. Your podcast, for sure. I get so much value out of that, and I've been loving. I'm going to say the name wrong. The personal brand. AJ and Lori Baden, the personal. The influential personal brand podcast. I love.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:39:31]:

What else am I listening to? But I also love podcasts about mysteries, especially, like, unsolved ones or cold cases, things like that I can really get into.

Marina [00:39:42]:

I haven't dove into that world of. There's so much storytelling on podcasts, too. I'm all about, like, personal development, but there's a whole nother world out there that's good. TikTok or Instagram, do you prefer?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:39:53]:

Well, I would say Instagram because I am maybe a little bit older than the typical TikTok age, and I just find I've used it more. And so probably TikTok. I'm sorry.

Marina [00:40:06]:

Probably Instagram. Yeah.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:40:07]:

Yeah. Okay.

Marina [00:40:07]:

And then last thing, send us your. What's your instagram d or your handle? How do they find it?

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:40:12]:

Oh, okay. Yes. So it's at doctor Minaskin, but I am on TikTok, Facebook, LinkedIn. You know, it's funny, actually. Really, the. I'm a Facebook girl. Like, Facebook started when I was in college, so I'm. It's like the the old school, so.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:40:29]:

Yeah.

Marina [00:40:30]:

Yeah.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:40:30]:

But, yeah. At doctor Minaskin, and I'm on all the. All the platforms, and the podcast is the skin reel.

Marina [00:40:36]:

Amazing. Well, thank you so much. I'm so excited to get this out there and just help cut through again. All the noise that's in our heads and our phones, they do all these things. Less is more. We don't need to spend all this money. And that's such a freeing thought to think so. Thank you so much for your time.

Dr. Mary Alice Mina [00:40:50]:

Oh, thank you, Marina. I love this podcast. I love what you're doing to help professional working women with the overwhelm that we all experience. So I love it. Thanks so much for having me.

Marina [00:41:01]:

No problem.

Marina [00:41:02]:

See you soon.

Join host Marina on the "Work Like A Mother Podcast" as she chats with Traci Peterson and delves into empowering mothers and daughters through personal development. In this inspiring episode, Traci shares her journey of creating a transformative movement that includes mother-daughter date nights and a weekend summit designed to foster growth, connection, and confidence. Discover how these events and Traci’s insights on goal-setting with gratitude can reshape parenting and education. Learn about Traci’s role as a board-certified nurse practitioner, CEO, and an international speaker who motivates women to find balance, celebrate achievements, and live in alignment with their values. Whether you're homeschooling, seeking personal growth, or looking to cultivate a stronger bond within your family, this episode provides valuable guidance and tools to support mothers and daughters in building self-belief and embracing their uniqueness. Tune in for a dose of motivation and learn how you can join the movement to elevate wellness and confidence in your life and the lives of young girls!

Use code BBG10 to get 10% off your ticket to Traci’s Mother-Daughter Weekend Summit in June!

https://tracipeterson.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

If Life Were Easy, It Wouldn’t Be Hard - Sheri Dew

Traci Peterson

https://tracipeterson.com/

IG: @tpete

IG: @motherdaughermovement

IG: @elevate_wellness_aesthetics

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

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Transcript:

Marina [00:00:05]:

I am so excited for today's episode because we have a freaking powerhouse in the room. Her name is Tracy Peterson. She is a board certified nurse practitioner, a CEO of elevate wellness and aesthetics, a founder, and an international speaker. And let me just tell you, when I was looking at her speaker kit, I was like, oh, my gosh, she is fierce, she is intense, and she's going to be so fire today. She's on a mission to help moms and daughters who learn to love themselves. They lean on God as we raise the next generation of leaders. And really, it's helping become your best for you and becoming the best for her. So I love that we're gonna talk about daughters today and pride in yourself, in mastering your role as a mother, a wife, and a woman of faith, and leading example of all of your leadership roles.

Marina [00:00:42]:

You have lived a life of experience through your career and through mothering. And now you're in a position to be able to help other women do the same thing, to get clear on what's most important and to do it in a way that's not going to cause us to go cuckoo, but we can actually have a really amazing life. So we're in alignment with that, which I'm super excited about. And you got three littles. Not the littles anymore. Eleven year old, a nine year old, and a six year old. So you've been there. You're in it.

Marina [00:01:03]:

You're in it with us, which is so great. But welcome to the show, Tracy.

Traci [00:01:07]:

Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.

Marina [00:01:11]:

Yeah.

Traci [00:01:12]:

Powerful women you have on this podcast, and I'm talking to one right now.

Marina [00:01:15]:

I'm just. I've been amazed at just the connections we've had on this podcast. And you are one that I'm so excited for people to get to know because I think you're on this roller coaster and it's only going up. It's gonna be so good for you in 2024. And I can't wait for your own podcast to come out. Hopefully, by the time this comes out, yours will be launched so we can cross promote that. What did it take to get to where you are? Like, what was your career journey before you got here?

Traci [00:01:38]:

My career path really started in medicine. As funny as it sounds, I remember when I was a little girl and I used to joke with my mom. I would say, mom, I want to deliver my own baby. I want to be an ob gyn. What? Like, what little kid says that, you know, and I'm in. I'm in my backyard with my exacto knife, like, dissecting snails and things like that. I'm like, what kind of kid was I? But that's, that's kind of how I was as a kid. I was always set on helping people and being somehow in the health or medical field.

Traci [00:02:08]:

And so I ended up going to nursing school, and then I got my master's degree to be a nurse practitioner. And I practiced in family medicine and family practice for seven years. And then that model, you know, I almost feel like you. We reinvent ourselves every, like, five to seven years.

Marina [00:02:27]:

Oh, yeah.

Traci [00:02:28]:

It's almost like we continue to evolve as a person. We continue to, to grow and learn and be enlightened. And every five to seven years, there's like this little itch and we're like, okay, what's next for me? You know, what's my next level? And so I was sitting, I remember sitting in the family practice office, which is just crazy that they give you like, 15 minutes to talk about four chronic health issues and medication management and all those things. And I kept my head in my computer the whole time. And I remember looking up at the end, I'm like, anything else? This sweet woman sitting across from me, and I'm like, anything else? And I see these tears welling up in her eyes. And I closed my computer and I put my hand on her leg, and I'm like, what's going on? And she just burst into tears. She's like, I'm depressed. I have no one to talk to.

Traci [00:03:12]:

I've got five kids at home. I've got this pulling me in this direction and this pulling me in this direction. And I'm just like, I gotta make a little bit of a shift. Cause this doesn't feel like it's in alignment with what I wanna create anymore in my life. I'm still a nurse practitioner, but I shifted my focus more into medical aesthetics because that's right when I started having kids. So I needed the flexibility to not work nights, holidays, weekends, on call, all of that, and I just needed flexibility. So I switched to medical aesthetics. And then about six and a half years ago, I was introduced to network marketing and direct sales, and I was totally oblivious to it.

Traci [00:03:52]:

And I'm like, you know what? That might be cool. Like, I'll try that. I'll try that out, you know? And it just felt different. It felt good to me. And so really, I kind of made multiple shifts throughout my, throughout my professional career. And we got started in network marketing, saw a lot of success really quickly. And I'm so grateful for the industry because I think, you know, coming from being a nurse practitioner and evolving into a networker, I think network marketing done wrong can be like an absolute nightmare for a lot of people. And there's a lot of preconceived notions about it.

Traci [00:04:25]:

But network marketing done right can literally change you forever.

Marina [00:04:30]:

Oh, yeah.

Traci [00:04:31]:

And I never, I just never could have fathomed the personal development, the sense of community, especially that we as women, we need, and just the financial, you know, security and the options that it affords us. So, you know, we were able to retire my husband from that and we've been able to help a lot of people, you know, across, across the world in 16 different countries. And so that opens up other doors, right? So six to seven years into that, now I get to pursue different passion projects while still building that business and supporting people with, you know, their mental and physical health. And that's this next project that we have with this mother daughter movement called b, that I just absolutely love.

Marina [00:05:15]:

And I'm so, tell me more, what is be?

Traci [00:05:17]:

So it's a mother daughter movement that's grounded in connection and protection. This all came about, uh, about a year and a half ago when, like you mentioned, I've got three kids. I have an eleven year old and nine year old and a six year old, and they are like, so high energy, bouncing off the walls all the time. And I love that about them so much. But I'm like, oh, my gosh, you're going to drive me crazy. Um, and they do most of the time, but I love them for it. But about a year and a half ago, my daughter, my oldest daughter, Koen is her name. When she was nine, we were just doing the typical after school activities, just sitting at the counter, I was doing dishes, and I remember thinking in my head, like, you know, as I'm grabbing the cup, like, cup, plate as I'm putting it away, and I'm like, spoon, fork.

Traci [00:06:03]:

And there's, like, always that one fork that's like, stuck in the dishwasher, like, way deep down underneath. Like, how did that get there? Right at that same time, as I stood up and I'm holding this fork in my hand, my daughter Quinn says to me so thoughtfully, she said, mom, can we do woman lessons? And I was like, yes, of course. Like, my heart is beating like it was then. And I was like, yes, like, what do you want to. Yes, what do you want to know? Like, I'm a woman. I'm sitting here right in front of you, what lessons do you want to learn? And she sat there so thoughtfully, and she said, well, I want to learn how to do my makeup. I need to learn how to put together an outfit, and I need to learn how to cook. And I was, like, so sweet, right? Like, so cute.

Traci [00:06:44]:

And then I get stuck in that mental mom dark hole, and I just start spiraling down. I'm like, internally, I'm thinking, that is so sweet. But that is also so sad. Like, that all she thinks that a woman is, is what we look like, what we wear, and what we do. And it caused me to stop there with this fork in my hand. And I call those, you'll probably be familiar with this. I call these 1 minute moments where you have this 1 minute moment with our children that's so formative, where you can choose to go down this path, or you can choose to get a little introspective and go down this path, and you end up in totally different trajectories and totally different. And so I was like, what do I want her to know about being a woman? Because there's so much more to being a woman than that.

Traci [00:07:31]:

It's about being self assured. It's about knowing who you are. It's about having opinions, being able to articulate those opinions to other people. It's about being spirit led. It's about being kind and inclusive, all of those things. And I'm like, those are the things that I want her to know. And I was like, and I know I'm not alone in this as, like, a high performing mom, as an entrepreneur, as a business owner. You know, if we're not, if we're not careful, oftentimes, I mean, I'm sure you see this.

Traci [00:08:01]:

Talking with, with women is usually, it's the most confident, the most put together, the CEO's, the top producers, the high achievers that are actually the most insecure.

Marina [00:08:11]:

Oh, 100%. It's all a facade all of a.

Traci [00:08:14]:

Sudden, because usually we're people pleasers, right? We need that external validation to find our self worth. And so what I found is that if we're not careful, well intentioned mothers can inadvertently project their insecurities onto their daughters.

Marina [00:08:31]:

100%. Yes.

Traci [00:08:32]:

And so it's like, oh, my gosh, like, Marina, if I can create this container for mothers and daughters to personally develop and be very clear on who they are and develop themselves as strong, confident, self assured women, and they can personally develop side by side as high performing moms, we have this tug of war, this internal tug of war, where it's like I have all of these desires to be this connected mother, or I can be, you know, crushing these business goals and these desires that I have outside of the home. But what women need to realize is it's. There's not an or. They need to switch out that or with an and you can be a well connected present mother and be an amazing businesswoman. Because that's. That's how you actually show and model your children how to go after your dreams, right? You're giving them permission to do the same because otherwise we're just self sacrificing. And then we're going to raise another generation of self sacrificers.

Marina [00:09:37]:

Little kids model everything that we do or we model what they do. Like, I've started to notice, too. Even just like, how she talks on the play phone, she's acting like mommy. Exactly. Like, word for word. Oh, you are a sponge. It's pretty crazy. We just chose to homeschool our son, our nine year old, and so that's like, the best thing is because he can watch life happen.

Marina [00:09:56]:

It's not just like, see you at five, have a nice life. It's got to be integrated. First of all, I love that you're doing this because not only is it such a need, but it's such a sacred relationship that we have taken for granted.

Traci [00:10:06]:

Amen.

Marina [00:10:06]:

Parenting in general, we've just taken for granted that, like, okay, now I got them, let's just get them to graduation and then see you later. Like, the whole idea of a nuclear family, right? But this is something that is so needed. And what's shaping women today is social media, which has been really, really harmful.

Marina [00:10:22]:

Hey, ladies, real quick. If you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're spiling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm, mostly, and they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantom leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you so if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com, and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level.

Marina [00:11:18]:

Let's dive back in.

Marina [00:11:20]:

Quick story. Like, I have a personal trainer, and she was just sharing this with me that one of her new clients just booked her. She's 16 years old and wanted a booty pump for next week. And she's like, okay. Like, that's so random, whatever. But, like, didn't know the story then come to find out. Found out it's for a funeral, her mom's funeral. And she wants the booty pump for her ex to see her at the funeral.

Marina [00:11:39]:

And she spent $400 to get a booty pump a week away. And I'm, like, 16 year old. That's, like, so many things. I'm so concerned. Like, just. My heart breaks for this woman. I'm like, that's this generation, unfortunately, like, we have to be the ones to step up. So, first, props for seeing the need and seeing the idea that, like, hey, it's probably not just her, but her friends are probably feeling this, too.

Marina [00:12:00]:

Like, there is a craving to be mentored. That's incredible. So that's awesome.

Traci [00:12:05]:

So what does it look like?

Marina [00:12:06]:

What does be mean? Like, people get involved.

Traci [00:12:08]:

Yeah. So it's a place where. Where mothers and daughters can build belief in themselves, elevate other people as they become who God created them to be.

Marina [00:12:17]:

Amazing.

Traci [00:12:17]:

And so instead of looking to the world for external validation, like you mentioned through social media, which is just. It's heartbreaking, honestly, to see we're helping these women and their daughters to look inward and upward for their validation. So as you come to know yourself better, we like to say, like, when you truly remember who you are and whose you are, that's where true internal confidence comes from, is the more you can get to know what. What makes you special and what makes you unique. You know, I think sometimes, especially as girls, we get told a lot of messages as we're growing up. Some from our parents, some from our moms and our dads, our siblings, you know, punk kids at school, whatever. Whatever it is, those labels become our limits. Mm hmm.

Traci [00:13:06]:

You know, and I think we're labeled at such a young age. Different things for me, I remember when I was 14, I one student body president, and I remember walking up behind my friends, my circle of girlfriends, and they were talking about me, like, oh, she thinks she's so great. And da da da da da, whatever, whatever. And then I went home seeking, like, for reassurance.

Marina [00:13:32]:

Yeah.

Traci [00:13:33]:

And I had somebody that I loved very much say, well, these girls aren't treating you very nicely because you're too loud and you're too confident and you're too self assured, and it makes people feel uncomfortable. And so then, as this 14 year old, I was like, wait a minute. For my whole life, for the last 14 years, I've been celebrated for these gifts, right? It's like, oh, you have these natural leadership abilities. And until it became too much for those people around me, right. And so then I started to tone it down a little bit, and I thought it was my job to make everybody else around me comfortable when what I wish would have happened, because that label stuck with me for, like, 25 years. Literally. Literally. And these labels truly can become our limits unless we.

Traci [00:14:21]:

We reframe them. Right? Many women probably have been called like, oh, you're too emotional. No, you're just empathetic. Oh, you're too bossy. No, actually, you're a master delegator. Right? It's like, you can. You can reframe all of those things because the things that we've been told are wrong with us are actually the things that are right with us.

Marina [00:14:42]:

So good.

Traci [00:14:43]:

And they make us, like, they make us who we are and who God, like, called us to be. And it's like, we just need to own those things first. We need to, like, identify those things, own them, develop them, and then make sure that we're what you're doing here and what I'm doing with b is create this community of women who celebrate and support you in your gifts. It's like, I truly, truly believe that a group of powerful women that know who they are, know what gifts they possess, and they champion other people. There is nothing that that group of women cannot accomplish.

Marina [00:15:19]:

Oh, so true. Yeah.

Traci [00:15:21]:

But I feel like that's why women are under attack is because if we can keep. If we can keep women focused on the external, on their booty pump or whatever it is, do you know what I'm saying? If we can keep them focused on the external and take the focus away from who am I, really? And who's am I, then that's where the competition starts, right? That's where the comparison starts. That's where the self criticism starts and the judgment starts.

Marina [00:15:46]:

Yeah.

Traci [00:15:47]:

You know, so we just. We just have to be really, really, really careful and also realize that it's okay to set boundaries, too, because if people don't see your gifts and they don't celebrate those gifts, they are not your people.

Marina [00:15:59]:

Nope. Yep. We are not supposed to be all the same. That would be a really boring world.

Traci [00:16:03]:

Oh, my gosh. We just did.

Marina [00:16:06]:

Yeah, we have a connect group at church, and, like, one of the things we just did was take a spiritual gifts test, and I did it, like, years ago, but we just redid it. And so, of course, things change, and my gifts have changed, but I still have, like, a core thing, and mine's encouraging other women mentoring, and I'm like, well, go figure. Look what I'm doing. Someone else is, like, super gifted at this thing, and someone else is over here, and it's like, we don't want everyone to be the same, but in school, it's, like, the one that stands out as the odd one. And so I'm constantly trying to reinforce that, too, in our kids to be, like, you're supposed to stand out. You're a natural leader for a reason. Like, there's a reason everyone wants to do whatever you're doing. Like, use that.

Traci [00:16:41]:

Yes, totally. And even. And again, like, with those labels, like, my. My son, Tristan, my nine year old, I call him a high energy kid. I don't call him an ADHd kid.

Marina [00:16:51]:

Oh, no.

Traci [00:16:51]:

I don't call him a troubled child. I call him a high energy kid because he's high energy. And as moms, we can help reframe those labels in our children. So I say, tristan, your energy is going to change the world one day.

Marina [00:17:05]:

So good.

Traci [00:17:06]:

Like, that's his superpower. Yeah, that's his gift. So instead of, yes, is it. Is it challenging? Absolutely. But I had somebody tell me this once. It was one of his church teachers. They said, listen, we had a son just like Tristan, and they said, he's a stallion. And he said, don't try to break him.

Traci [00:17:27]:

His spirit and his energy just needs to be corralled. It just needs to be corralled. He doesn't need to be broken of it. Just love him because he's a stallion. And I'm like, oh, I love that. I love that so much. And that's what I needed to hear when I was 14 years old is, you know what? I gave you all those gifts for a reason, and you're going to use them for good. And there's going to be people that don't understand them.

Traci [00:17:50]:

And you can love them, but they don't need to be like in your close, close circle. You can always be kind, but you can also, you know, have boundaries.

Marina [00:17:58]:

Yeah. And I feel like it took me over a decade to like really get that. Because in your twenties you just want to be accepted and loved, right? So you're like willing to bend over backwards and then in your thirties suddenly you have a backbone. But we're still testing the backbone. It's not quite straight yet and we're still like pushing those yes and no's. That's so good.

Marina [00:18:14]:

Hey guys, I hope you're enjoying the podcast, but real quick, if you are someone that's super over and you're worrying, how the heck am I supposed to do all this stuff, I want to tell you, I have a really good four week course for you. It's called core values of your calendar. It's super succinct to the point, filled with stories about how I've overcome, overwhelmed myself and the strategies and tools I use today to do all the things that I'm doing today. So I've been there, I've seen it. I mean, I still see it on my feed today. All the influencers who are telling us, do this, sell more, be more, post twelve times a day, right? And it's freaking impossible. And so I want you to go to marinatolentino.com, scroll down and look for the course again. It's called core values of your calendar.

Marina [00:18:52]:

Read it, see if it's right for you. But I would love for you to dive in and literally implement the tools and systems and strategies that I've learned over the years that have paid thousands of dollars in coaching to get this information and give it to you in this course. Check that out and we'll get right back to the podcast.

Marina [00:19:06]:

So you have some statistics on your speaker kit that I just want to read out loud because I think they're so good. But you said 42% of women admitted to never complimenting themselves, 46% of women say they criticized themselves at least once before. 09:30 a.m. 75% of women have disordered eating patterns, and 90% of women lack self worth. So that's like majority for pretty much all of those that we're all falling victim to, which is a huge heartbreak that we've allowed ourselves to get there. Like, oh my gosh, what do you have to say about that?

Traci [00:19:35]:

Yeah, I mean, it is heartbreaking. And that's the thing is we've heard the quote before, be the change that you want to see. Right? It's like, why? I think it's twofold. Because here's the other thing, women and moms, we also don't need, like, extra things to make us feel guilty. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, oh, well, hey, there's 75. 75% of women have disordered eating. Well, that's a learned pattern, typically so. Oh, man.

Traci [00:20:01]:

Well, here we go. Well, that's something I got to work on. Yeah, we do. We do. Because we're setting an example. That doesn't mean that you snap your fingers and you have to be perfect. It means that you have to be progressing. I always say that all of these techniques that I teach is a daily practice, not a daily perfect.

Traci [00:20:19]:

Yeah, just as long as you're progressing, we're going to be fine. We're really going to be fine. But those are learned behaviors, many of those things. Which is why I wanted to create this mother daughter movement where mothers and daughters could personally develop together, because could I have run a camp where I would take these girls of nine and twelve and take them out of their environment, make them feel good, remember who they are and whose you are. Like, talk about gratitude. Talk about your divine gifts and setting boundaries and regenerating your energy and all these things that we talk about and teach. And then if I put them back in their home with a mom who self criticizes, judges herself and her children, projects all of her insecurities onto them, isn't personally developing, then that girl's going to revert right back to the patterns that she had before. So it's sort of like a call to arms with moms.

Traci [00:21:15]:

Do you know what I'm saying? And I feel like there's a special breed of mom that's in the world right now. Like, there's sort of like this calling and rustling and awakening that. I think a lot of women, especially high performing women with children, like, they're feeling this call to, like, rise up.

Marina [00:21:34]:

A little bit, you know, 100% with you. Yeah. I mean, just with our choice to homeschool in the last two months, so many of my friends and people that I follow are like, I've been thinking about it, too. I think I'm going to do it next year. And I'm like, you and you and you. And then so many people I didn't know were homeschooling came out and said, oh, we've been homeschooling. We love it. I'm like, you never thought.

Marina [00:21:52]:

But it's because something is wrong with what's going on. We don't like how our children are developing. If we just let America do it the way that America would. And so absolutely, it's like enough is enough. We've hit the pain threshold. It's time to change. And if we think this is the next generation, if we could have it anyway, how would we have it? Let's do something about it. What is the experience like? Is it a group course?

Marina [00:22:10]:

Is it an event?

Marina [00:22:11]:

Like, how do you plug in?

Traci [00:22:12]:

There's two types of events. So we do mother daughter date nights and I'm in Utah, so most of these, most of these events are here in Utah. So we do mother daughter date nights once a quarter, and then we have a weekend summit on June 7 and 8th. So that's going to be a day and a half. We're bringing in expert speakers from Utah, from California, from Florida. And it's just going to be an all immersive, like, weekend, mother daughter weekend getaway. It's going to be so, it's going to be so fun. Friday night we're doing a service project with mothers without Borders that is going to touch.

Traci [00:22:49]:

Oh, my gosh, it's, it's going to be so powerful. We talked to these girls and these women to be candle lighters and not candle outers. I know that sounds kind of funny, but literally it's like, are you walking around trying to blow out people's candles? And is somebody always trying to blow out yours? That's a good indicator and a filter for people who you want to have in your life and who you don't want to have in your life. And would you want to be in someone's life if you're going around trying to blow out people's candles? So we're doing a service project where we're going to connect with a girl in Africa. So we're going to light the candle of a girl who's in Africa, and then they're going to write back to the daughter and the mother with a picture and the whole thing. And then we're going to do like a dance party, karaoke. That's going to be super fun. And then all day Saturday is going to be activities because girls between the ages of nine and twelve, and if your listeners and viewers are thinking, oh, man, I've got a 13 year old, have them come, it's totally, totally applicable to 13 year olds.

Traci [00:23:46]:

I would say eight is just a smidgen too young. If they're a mature eight, they'd be fine, but the target is between nine and twelve year olds. But they just want activities. They want to do things with their mom in this psychosocial stage of their development. It's identity and confusion. So they're learning who they are, they're learning who they want to be and they want to try on all those hats. It's like, am I an athlete? Am I an artist? Am I creative? Do I love working with my hands? Do I love fine needlework? Like, whatever it is, they want to just do fun things when the most important thing is they just want to connect with their moms. So we create a ton of connection activities and then we come back and we teach a principle, a framework and inspire a behavior.

Traci [00:24:33]:

It's pretty fast moving because we have to keep, you know, these young girls attention. But they are incredible foundational concepts that's taken me 25 years to learn. And if I can save one mom, if I can save one girl from 25 years of struggle and pitfalls and heartache and hardship, of not loving their body at every stage, of having disordered eating patterns, of forgetting who they are and trying to people please my way through life, if I could save them from hyper achieving and overachieving and getting all those accolades just to prove that they're worthy, if I could save even just one person from that, it's all worth it. Oh, yeah, it's all worth it.

Marina [00:25:15]:

I think you already have. That's the amazing part. Now it's just spreading and it's the ripple, right? Yeah, it's, it's the candle lighting. You're lighting the next one. When you were thinking the candle put our outers, I was thinking the snuffers. You don't want to be a snuffer. No, snuffers allow no snuffing.

Traci [00:25:30]:

This is an, is a snuff free zone. It's so true. It's so true, though.

Marina [00:25:36]:

Oh, my gosh. So good. It sounds so fun. And I think for sure when Mika gets a little bit older, she's only four right now. We would love to participate. That sounds amazing. Oh, it just continues. And you have pop ups in other cities.

Marina [00:25:46]:

You can go and tour. Who knows what it could be?

Traci [00:25:49]:

Yes. Well, it's funny you should say that because I think that might be in the works. So if you're like, oh, my gosh, I can't make it out to Utah or I'm traveling that weekend or whatever, just go onto our website, Tracy Peterson.com. You can type in the little, like, info and just like, email me and say, like, we want this out in our neck of the woods because we've been starting to get a lot of people, like in Arizona and California and Idaho, that are wanting things, and people on the east coast are asking now. So we'd love to know. So tell us. Oh, fine. I'll come out to Hawaii.

Traci [00:26:20]:

Okay.

Marina [00:26:21]:

We will gladly host you. Yes. It'd be amazing. One of the things you mentioned, too, was, like, the goal setting issues that we have. So you mentioned goal setting with gratitude and grace. Can you define what that means for a high producer?

Traci [00:26:32]:

Goal setting with gratitude and grace. I think that specifically for high performing women, we are not at any shortage. We are always thinking of the next thing. We're always thinking of the next goal. But very rarely do high performing women pause to give themselves a pat on the back and to celebrate all the things that they're doing, because we're constantly driven by what is next. What is next, what is next? And so that's why high performing women oftentimes desire. Like, how can I have more presence? Like, I feel like I'm go, go, go, go, go. But I don't really feel like I'm present in my life.

Traci [00:27:12]:

It's like my life is just happening, and I'm, like, just sort of floating through my life, if that makes sense. And so something that's helped me have a little bit more gratitude and grace with. With my goal setting is just that. It's setting up a daily practice of gratitude.

Marina [00:27:27]:

Yeah.

Traci [00:27:28]:

And I know it sounds super simple and hokey, and I am. I am one that I am not a super complex morning routine. Hour long. My morning routine is three minutes. Why? Because I know I can do it every single stinking day. And so I can pray. I can get grounded in gratitude. So I literally ground.

Traci [00:27:48]:

I take off my shoes and I ground my feet and I open up my blinds so that I can face the sun. There's some symbolism there.

Marina [00:27:56]:

Yep.

Traci [00:27:57]:

You can kind of go with it. But sun gives you life. Sun gives you energy, right? And so I turn and I face the sun and I pray, and then I list three things that I'm grateful for. And I keep my hand on my heart, because the greatest goal that any of us could have is that we get up each day and we have the breath of life, that we have the gift of the day in front of us. And then. And then I'm going to go here. Normally, I don't go here, but I ask God where he needs me to go. I ask God who he needs me to talk to and to place people in my life that need me.

Traci [00:28:31]:

And I think we don't talk about that enough in business because I think maybe it's a little taboo where, you know, having a spirit led business. But I think it's important. I really, truly do.

Marina [00:28:42]:

Absolutely.

Traci [00:28:42]:

Because it goes back to knowing who you are and whose you are and that there is a plan for each one of us, that our divine potential goes far beyond the things of this life. And so if, yes, we're here to work and to develop and grow ourselves and turn around and help develop other people, then we probably should have, like, a co creator partnership with God, and he's going to guide us. When have I felt that I've been the most successful? Is when I partnered with God.

Marina [00:29:17]:

Oh, 100%, yes. The times when we blaze our own path, let's go together.

Traci [00:29:22]:

And you know what, Marina? This is something that I know God is just like this. Like, oh, Tracy, it's going to take your whole life, you sweet thing, to figure this out. I will just keep trying to rely on my own natural man and my own inclinations and just do it. I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. Until I don't got it no more. And then he's like, we've got it. Like, I've got you, you know? So it's such a good reminder to always, always invite him in. He's always there ready.

Traci [00:29:50]:

He's always there standing door. He just needs to be invited in. We just need.

Marina [00:29:54]:

And I ask how you know that you're in alignment. What does that look like and feel like for you?

Traci [00:29:58]:

That is a really, really great question. I know that I'm with in you alignment. When I have energy, when I'm depleted of energy, I know that I'm not honoring my values. And I walk our mothers and daughters through this process, too. So it's very, very simple. If any of your listeners want it, they can just message me on the website and just type in energy, because I have this whole regenerate energy worksheet that they can walk through. But I identify my top three energy generators that will be different for everybody.

Marina [00:30:35]:

Yeah.

Traci [00:30:36]:

So yours might be walking outside. I've worked with women who, you know, felt stressed out and overwhelmed and completely out of alignment, and I'm like, what is your energy generator? She's like, I love riding my horse. And I'm like, when was the last time you rode your horse? She's like, three months ago. I'm like, go. Go ride the dang horse, you know? And so I feel the most aligned when I know that my three values, I'm hitting those consistently, and mine is health, number one. But underneath, health is health, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And for the longest time, I was like, oh, whenever I do these value things, I'm like, I always, like, like, wanted to put God up there, but it never felt right. It's because it's health.

Traci [00:31:28]:

It's helped spiritually, and he's involved in that. And for me, I also find God more when I'm taking care of my body, when I'm taking care, when I go to the gym, when I'm putting good foods into my body. We teach these girls that you're more than your body, but it is important to invest in your vessel. And so when I'm investing in my vessel, I feel God more. I have more of, like, a direct contact conduit with him when those things are in alignment. So I feel like God is wrapped up in health. It's kind of mind, body, spirit, you know?

Marina [00:32:01]:

Yeah.

Traci [00:32:01]:

So I felt guilty about that for a lot because I was like, it should be God. And it's like, it is God.

Marina [00:32:06]:

Yeah. It just feels like devotions over business or whatever. Like, it felt phony. And that makes total sense. Yeah.

Traci [00:32:13]:

Yes, yes, yes, yes. So, yeah, if something doesn't quite feel right, try to try to find. Find the God and, you know, in everything that you do. But so mine is health and then family and then my mission. And so those are my top three. And within family, I really try to do one on one dates with all of my kids, and they have loved that so much, and it doesn't. We don't always go, go somewhere or spend money. Sometimes we'll just go for.

Traci [00:32:41]:

We call it a gratitude walk. And they love it.

Marina [00:32:43]:

They love.

Traci [00:32:44]:

Or just a drive that can be our one on one date. Kids just want 100% focused attention, and we live in. Where's my phone? It's in my back pocket. Hello. Right? Like, it's always on our person, and so we're always distracted. And so I think it goes a long way to set those boundaries of, hey, I'm not even going to bring my phone on our drive. And so they know it's not even there. Even if the phone is, like, turned down on the table, you know, that.

Traci [00:33:14]:

That's pretty.

Marina [00:33:16]:

You know, if you go to lunch with someone and their phones on the table, it's so distracting. Even though it's off, it's just distracting.

Traci [00:33:23]:

I know. And I'm so guilty of doing it. I was like, daily progress, right?

Marina [00:33:29]:

Not perfect.

Traci [00:33:30]:

Certainly. Certainly not perfect. But to go back to your question, that's how I know when I'm in alignment.

Marina [00:33:35]:

Yeah.

Traci [00:33:35]:

Is when I have those three energy generators in my day and in my calendar. And I audit my calendar so frequently, usually seasonally, especially with kids. I think this is, this is a really good tip, is because usually kids go on seasons, right? It's like basketball season or volleyball season or baseball season. So at the beginning of each season, we audit the calendar and make sure that our energy generators are scheduled in there first. And so you are building your business around your life, around your energy generators, and not the other way around.

Marina [00:34:11]:

Yep.

Traci [00:34:12]:

And this is a skill that we teach these girls in a very simple way of how to identify what their energy generators are. And it's darling because my eleven year old is her pets. Like her church group, you know, and singing, it's like. So we need to make sure that those things are in there. And if they're not, then she's being depleted of energy. She's not living in alignment. And so we also talk about how we can communicate that and foster communication, and we call it needing to have an energy or a values check in. Mom, I need to have a values check in.

Traci [00:34:47]:

Sort of like a safe word where it's like, if they don't quite know how to bring it up, like, hey, mom, you're wanting me to play volleyball all the time, when really all I want to do is study animals or be with my friend, you know, we teach them how to have a more responsible conversation over making sure that they're in alignment with their values. And I think the earlier that we can teach them these skill sets, the more likely we are to avoid the overwhelm, the stress, the burnout, not listening to their inner voice when they know that things are off and they just don't know how to stop the ship and turn it around, you know, so good.

Marina [00:35:26]:

No. And it comes back to that place of knowing who you are before you're shaping yourself to what the world tells you to be, what kind of business owner to be, or whatever so and so is doing. XYZ, do I have to do it too? Like, no, no, no, no, we're not doing that. That's so good. I think there's so many gems that people will get out of this episode. Like, it's so encouraging. And I'm just so glad that you could share your story and what you're doing to change the world that surround you, which is so needed. We need more people like you, Tracy.

Traci [00:35:53]:

There are so many amazing people out there, and I love what you're doing here to create this community of high performing women, because we need to hear all the stories. We need to hear all the little tips. Newsflash. Nobody's got it figured out.

Marina [00:36:06]:

Nope.

Traci [00:36:07]:

Nobody's got it figured out. It's like, you try something, you're like, that didn't work. So now let's make a little micro adjustment, and we just need to teach each other all the micro adjustments that we've learned through. Through our mistakes. It doesn't mean you're a bad mom. It means you're the best mom because you're still learning and you're still growing and still trying to figure it out.

Marina [00:36:24]:

Totally. And I always say, like, we're so connected online, but we're so disconnected intimately. Like, we don't have the real, real talks. It's like likes and loves and whatever, but no one's sharing. Like, actually, this is really hard, what I'm going through right now. Like, homeschooling is really hard right now. We have a lot of emotions flying. It's not easy.

Marina [00:36:41]:

But on Instagram, you might think that I have all put it together. You're like, it's just two year olds. Yeah.

Traci [00:36:45]:

Yeah. Which also, I love that point that we're, like, so disconnected and we don't have that human connection. Because I thought, and I went back and forth in my mind a little bit when I was creating these events. I'm like, should I just do them online? I'll be able to reach more people, but it's like, am I really going to be able to reach more people? Like, really, really reach? And the answer was no. And so, is coming to an event a commitment? Absolutely. Is it a sacrifice? Depends on how you look at it. Because to me, what is your daughter's self worth? Worthless. Anything.

Traci [00:37:21]:

Worth anything? Everything. I'll maybe wrap with this story. After our very first event, we did something called angel Whispers, where we had all of the girls and the moms, we took them just through this, like, really, really simple guided meditation where they. They went back and they talked to themselves as a little girl when they were the most happy and they felt the most contented. And that little girl had a message to give them. And some of these messages that we heard, like, mine was, you're enough just the way that you are. And then we, we all stood in a circle, and we had the little nine to twelve year old stand in the circle as each mom and as each girl went up and whispered their lesson or their learning, that they wish they would have known sooner, that they wish they would have been told. And everybody was just in tears and I literally was standing there and I felt.

Traci [00:38:18]:

I felt like I was seeing a generation change right before my eyes.

Marina [00:38:23]:

Crazy.

Traci [00:38:24]:

Where I saw mothers pouring into my daughter and I saw other girls, young girls, supporting and uplifting and sharing their lessons and their learnings with each other. And I had this little eleven year old come up to me just in tears. And she's like, Tracy, that's the most that I've ever felt spirit in my entire life.

Marina [00:38:48]:

That's powerful.

Traci [00:38:49]:

It's like. And then we just hugged and embraced and she just sobbed and I sobbed and I was like, you can't get that online. These are experiences and connections that are going to shape these little girls for the rest of their lives. And that relationship between mother and daughter shapes them for the rest of their life. So why wouldn't we want to become the best version of ourselves as moms? Why wouldn't we want to be connected with other moms who want the same things and that are moving in the same, you know, direction that we are? Because again, when we do that, when we can combine together, that's how you truly lift and elevate the world is one connection at a time, one person at a time, one spirit at a time. And then it just starts to grow so good.

Marina [00:39:39]:

Oh, my gosh. Okay, so what is the action step for people who are interested in attending? There's ticket sales online, I'm assuming?

Traci [00:39:46]:

Yes, yes. Ticket sales are online. You can go to tracy peterson.com dot. Tracy is with an I. Peterson's with an o. So Tracy peterson.com. It's right there. And then for your listeners, too.

Traci [00:40:00]:

Are you, do you know when this is airing?

Marina [00:40:02]:

Hopefully the end of May.

Traci [00:40:03]:

End of May. Perfect. Perfect. I'm going to give your listeners a special code that they can get 10% off. Okay.

Marina [00:40:10]:

Okay. Awesome.

Traci [00:40:11]:

It's BBG ten.

Marina [00:40:13]:

Easy.

Traci [00:40:14]:

BBG ten. Just through the end of maybe. And I'm excited to see all of.

Marina [00:40:20]:

You guys there, actually, because your event's coming up in June. Maybe we'll push it up the roster there.

Traci [00:40:26]:

I was going to say I was hoping it would be April because then I was going to extend the code, but whatever works, we'll work with your assistant and we'll make sure that that code is active for your listeners.

Marina [00:40:37]:

Amazing. Okay, so I end every episode with a fun rapid fire just to get to know you a little bit better. But what is your Starbucks order?

Traci [00:40:43]:

Oh, egg white bites, red pepper egg white bites, and a dragon fruit refresher.

Marina [00:40:50]:

Yum. Easy. Okay, what do you make for dinner if it's last minute?

Traci [00:40:52]:

Shrimp and, like, just sauteed with butter and italian seasoning.

Marina [00:40:58]:

Yeah, you do that Hawaii style. Just garlic shrimp.

Traci [00:41:01]:

Yeah.

Marina [00:41:02]:

Yes.

Traci [00:41:02]:

That's literally, I'm like. Or, yes, I have, like, minced garlic that I just, like, throw in. Yeah.

Marina [00:41:07]:

Love it. Okay, what's your favorite? Go to department of target and your favorite designer there.

Traci [00:41:11]:

That's a great question. I'm usually, like, in. You know what? I'm normally in the holiday section at target buying candy. Like, I'm just gonna be real. Yeah, true. It's like, that's just true.

Marina [00:41:23]:

Yep.

Traci [00:41:24]:

Because we just came up with Easter, and I was, like, in that section all the time.

Marina [00:41:28]:

That's all.

Traci [00:41:29]:

I'm a lover of. Of candy. That is. That is a weakness. But I always pair it with a protein and a fat so it stabilizes my blood sugar.

Marina [00:41:37]:

We're good.

Traci [00:41:38]:

We're good.

Marina [00:41:39]:

Okay, well, name a book or a podcast you'd recommend to the audience and why.

Traci [00:41:44]:

Oh, my goodness gracious. Sheri do. If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard.

Marina [00:41:51]:

Ooh, that sounds good. Yeah. Okay.

Traci [00:41:55]:

That's when I was going through a very, very hard time in my life, in my early twenties, and that book, I was like, okay, God, you're speaking, like, right to me.

Marina [00:42:03]:

Wow. Okay, we'll definitely link that one so people can get that TikTok or Instagram.

Traci [00:42:07]:

Instagram? I don't even have a TikTok.

Marina [00:42:09]:

Oh, good job. You. I know.

Traci [00:42:11]:

I've, like, resisted for such a long time.

Marina [00:42:15]:

Don't fall into it now.

Traci [00:42:16]:

I know.

Marina [00:42:18]:

Okay. And then where can people find you on Instagram? What's your handle?

Traci [00:42:21]:

My handle is. And then the mother daughter movement pages. Other daughter movement.

Marina [00:42:27]:

Awesome.

Traci [00:42:28]:

Amazing.

Marina [00:42:28]:

Thank you so much for your time. I can't wait for this to get out and for people to learn about it and just get inspired, especially for moms of daughters, just to get really encouraged to realize we can change the world with one girl at a time. And that's mic drop.

Traci [00:42:43]:

Boom.

Marina [00:42:44]:

All right, thank you, my dear.

Traci [00:42:46]:

Thank you. You're amazing. Keep doing what you're doing.

Marina [00:42:48]:

No problem. We'll see you soon. Bye.