Real Talk on Homeschooling: Challenges and Solutions | Work Like A Mother Podcast, Episode 28
Join Marina as she explores the dynamic world of homeschooling in 2024, sharing her personal journey and practical tips. Discover the flexibility and customization that homeschooling offers, and learn how to navigate different curricula and teaching styles. Whether you're a seasoned homeschooler or just considering the switch, this episode provides valuable insights and inspiration to help you create a successful and fulfilling learning environment for your children.
Mentioned in this episode:
Marina Tolentino
https://www.marinatolentino.com/
YT: @marinatolentino
Newsletter: https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/worklikeamother
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Transcript:
Marina [00:00:00]:
So with anything with homeschool, there is, like I said, an entire spectrum of ways to do it, and there is no one right way. So don't let anyone ever tell you that this is the only way to do it, or I promise you, this is gonna work. Because not only is every curriculum different, but every child is different and every parent is different. So you have all these different factors that play into your homeschooling experience. That's gonna change it. On today's episode, we're gonna get into the nitty gritty of homeschooling. My third grader has actually been like, now that we are officially in summer break, and I have survived about four months of homeschooling amidst a move on all of these things. So let's dive into the realities of homeschooling in 2024.
Marina [00:00:47]:
So the homeschooling episode that we did was actually one of the most popular ones. And I had so many DM's and friends texting me about it, saying they were thinking about homeschooling themselves, and they're so glad that I shared some of those resources with them. But I think amongst the general public, like, homeschooling is on the rise. And we know this, and I kind of talked about this before, but it's becoming more and more popular every single year because we just start to see all the failures of the school system in our faces. Once your children get a little bit older year after year, and it really is dependent on the area you're in and on the school system that you're set aside or if you can afford private. And here in Hawaii, I mean, private school is easily, you know, 10,000 plus a year, which is a huge addition if you're not already having a high cost living. So for us, homeschooling made sense. Like I said, my third grader just finished third grade.
Marina [00:01:38]:
We're going into fourth grade. And then my little one, my four year old, we just pulled her out of preschool. And she has another year of preschool, technically, before she starts kinder. But moving into next year, kind of what I'm going to do is just continuing the same thing I've been doing with my older son and then with my little one. I'm not going to do curriculum with her, but she is very eager to learn right now, and she really loves tracing, she loves pretending to do school. And so as long as she has that natural craving for it, I will absolutely, you know, foster that and give her worksheets and stuff, but no formal curriculum for the four year old at this time. So for the nine year old, let's kind of review where we've been and where we're going. So when I started, I definitely did my due diligence of research, but I wouldn't say, like, crazy OCD style.
Marina [00:02:25]:
Like, I got a sense of what's out there in the world today in forms of technology and workbooks and different curriculums. And I ended up falling on the good and the beautiful for language arts and math and actually really love the program and all the books that come with it and the tools that they send and stuff. But it is a workbook. It is a formal workbook. So if you are someone that is thinking you're going to unschool and have no curriculum, you don't need those workbooks. But for me, and I think for my husband, too, we wanted some peace of mind that we were moving the needle forward and I had structure personally as the teacher, because I think if I did nothing, I would constantly be like, you know what, if ing my whole day, like my brain and thinking I wasn't doing enough. So at least this gives me enough traction to say, hey, we can do a little bit here, a little bit there, but it's not, you know, 8 hours of school a day. And realistically, in this season of life, like, homeschooling would take us anywhere from an hour to 2 hours max a day.
Marina [00:03:21]:
And that's including 20 minutes of reading, plus the workbook of language Arts, which takes about 30 minutes. And then the math usually takes us longer. Anywhere from like 30 minutes to an hour.
Marina [00:03:33]:
Hey, ladies, real quick. If you are looking for a mentor, I just wanted to remind you that I offer mentorship to entrepreneurs. So if you're someone who has a never ending to do list and you're spiraling out of control and feel like your business doesn't have a track plan, I want to work with you every single week for a month at a time. It's super simple, but I come from over ten years of experience doing this myself, and now I'm willing to give that information back to people. So I've mentored real estate agents, I've mentored wedding photographers, I've mentored other business owners, and they've come from a place of overwhelm, mostly. And they really just needed clarity and a couple of action steps to move the needle. And we've seen gigantom leaps and bounds in their business. Like, I can't even tell you.
Marina [00:04:14]:
So if you're interested and you want to know what that looks like, I want you to go to marinatolentino.com and there's a calendly link there to do a 15 minutes discovery call with me just to see if we're a good vibe check to make sure we're on the same page. And I would love to work with you one on one to really boost your business to the next level. Let's dive back in.
Marina [00:04:31]:
And I have to say, the biggest thing that takes the most time is honestly, the attitude. So, parents of elementary kids, you know, attitude is everything, and we are learning every day how to be better parents about it. But a friend had shared with me this podcast called the Calm Parenting podcast, and it's been so helpful in just speaking to exactly what we're going through. And it's a power struggle, more than the content, 1000%. So the material is not an issue. He can learn it very easily. It's very much at his grade level and learning level. And when we.
Marina [00:05:06]:
When he's focused and he's willing to, like, get down and do the work real quick, I mean, he can do a whole lesson in 15 minutes. It's amazing. It's like a freaking miracle. But most days, there is a lot of power struggle going on. And so I have learned through listening to the calm parenting podcast that most of the issues come from my freaking self, which is frustrating, but also very relieving and freeing to know that I can change myself. And we know this about our, like, just like with life, we can't change our spouses, right? But we can change ourselves. So if I can approach schooling differently and if I can let go of so many expectations of the way that I want him to do things and allow him the time and the space for him to do things the way that he wants to learn, then there is so much better balance between us. But I just have to bite my tongue constantly because of course he's going to do things different.
Marina [00:05:55]:
He wants to do it laying down. He wants to do it upside down. He wants to break five pencils in the session. Like, he's just very much a very high energy, active boy where I'm just like, can't you just sit down and, like, do it? And it just doesn't work that way. So we've come to some days where, like, the power struggle happens before we even open the book. Like, the power struggle is happening. I don't want to do school today. And so we went outside one day, and I did multiplication drills while he shot the basketball.
Marina [00:06:25]:
And it was great. And he had a blast and then he asked to do it again the next day and the next day. And so I've learned he's very much a kinesthetic learner, and he needs to be moving his body to do this without fighting. If I ask him to sit at a desk, like, instant tears, and it's not even, I am like the most patient, graceful person with him, like, my husband cannot. But I have intentionally been so calm and so patient, and he still gets so emotional and so power struggle that I've just learned to accept, okay, this isn't working. Take the cue and move on and do a different way. Try it a different way. Sometimes if I try to teach a lesson through reading the workbook prompts, it's not working.
Marina [00:07:02]:
Then I'm like, okay, just full stop. Let's do a YouTube video, and I'll find something that's engaging about the topic on YouTube that'll catch his attention. Then we come full circle. Okay, now we do a little lesson practice together. So, so much of homeschooling is being adaptable and flexible to the day, the hour, and the mood of your child, because no day is the same. And that goes to say with the schedule, too, we don't have, like, a set time that we do school every day. It's like, if I've got a full morning of zooms, then we're going to do school in the afternoon or vice versa. If I've got a full afternoon or evening, then we're going to bust out school first thing in the morning.
Marina [00:07:36]:
And then because school only takes about an hour to 2 hours a day, most of his time is spent playing literally what kids are supposed to be doing. So the screen is not on, the tv is not on. He's outside, he's riding his bike. He's playing basketball. Like, I'll give him the little bluetooth speaker, and he'll just go ham for 45 minutes to an hour shooting hoops with some tunes on. Around the afternoon time, all the street kids come out and they're like, they'll play outside for four to 6 hours nonstop in the sun, just running around and running amok. And that is where so much of the interaction goes on, the socialization goes on, the learning goes on, and it's just been so good to see him have fun and, like, take off all the restriction and limits that he used to have. Like, just with family that we have visiting, they have like, four or five sports teams that they're a part of, and they school full time, right, with public school.
Marina [00:08:32]:
And so they have no free time, and it's just a complete night and day difference of our schedule where we've intentionally made freedom for our kids to just be and just interact and do what they want to do and explore different things creatively.
Marina [00:08:46]:
Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt, and I hope you're enjoying this episode of the work like a mother podcast. Real quick. I just want to remind you guys, if you are worried about missing an episode, you don't have to worry anymore because we are creating a weekly email that's going to go out automatically every single time there's a brand new episode. And this email is going to have everything you need to know about this week's featured guests. It's going to have all of the links and the resources that we're going to talk about in this episode so you don't have to go around and fumble through the show notes. But it's me served in your inbox every single week. So if you guys want that access, be sure to click below one time in the show notes today. Sign up for that email and then you'll never have to worry about it in the future.
Marina [00:09:24]:
And bonus, if you really love this, we'd love it if you share this with a friend, give us a review on whatever platform you're listening to, and we'll continue to bring new episodes and new information that's going to help you level up your life every single week.
Marina [00:09:36]:
And so I think it's been really good. It's been a transformation of mindsets. Absolutely, 100% from when I started in March to where we are today in June. And so going into next year, I think I'm going to continue with the current curriculum that we have, which is good and beautiful. So I'll get the fourth grade set again just for language arts and math. They do have other subjects like science and arts and all these things, but honestly, I love keeping those an open option and not feeling like I need a third workbook. Like the two workbooks is enough for this grade level. And we're doing science all day, every day, just through doing life together.
Marina [00:10:13]:
So that whether that's through cooking, baking, he's baking with me, whether that's farm life, whether that's just taking care of the house or whatever, like he'll help Ryan with the cars. There's a lot of learning going on that's not in a book that I feel is sufficient for this age. However, obviously, once we get into middle school, there's some more functional things he might need to take on. Maybe we do some other things. We have experimented with Mi Academy, which is spelled Miacademy. I heard rave reviews from a couple of parents, but for my son's learning style, he's such an impatient learner that he didn't like that it was making you pass the test or whatever the quiz to get to the next lesson. So he'd jam through and not read the things and then be frustrated. And then it was a whole thing where he was smashing the computer and I was like, nope, this isn't working.
Marina [00:11:01]:
So we pulled Mia Academy temporarily, but I think we could always go back to it if we had a season where he can enjoy it more. I did enjoy Mia Academy's typing program. That was good for him to just get some more experience with his finger placements and doing the ASDF and all that as a third grader. I think we'll continue that just for me academy, just the keyboarding part of it. But if he get to a pace where he does have curiosity to learn more or a subject that I'm not good about, then we can get there. But for now, like, I totally have peace of mind to just skip that and just do the basics and knowing that life will take care of the rest at this moment. So with anything with homeschool, there is, like I said, an entire spectrum of ways to do it and there is no one right way. So don't let anyone ever tell you that this is the only way to do it.
Marina [00:11:51]:
Or this. I promise you, this is going to work. Because not only is every curriculum different, but every child is different and every parent is different. So you have all these different factors that play into your homeschooling experience that's going to change it. I have another friend who runs like, a tight ship curriculum and it sounds very intense to me. It's like eight subjects and it's a full school year and they have breaks and all this stuff. That's not us. Like, honestly, I would say four days out of the week we hit our mark of where I'm supposed to be doing what I'm supposed to be doing in the book.
Marina [00:12:22]:
And then the three days is like flex days. So maybe like on a Friday I have a full work day, so that means I'm not able to do homeschool, so we're going to do it on a Sunday. Or honestly, maybe we just skip it. Like, I'll be reading through some of the content and if it's just a repeat, it's trying to review the lesson again and again for a couple of days. If Roman can pass that and, like, I don't need to drill it into him anymore, I'm like, are you good? You're good. You got this. And I'll quiz him. Then we just skip five pages and we go forward.
Marina [00:12:48]:
Like, that's the freedom of being the teacher, is you get to decide what and when to teach all the things. So I think there's just been so much more grace added to my plate moving into next year, which has been huge, but it's just accepting where you are in life, that's the full thing. Not trying to fight it, not trying to force anything. We're not trying to hurry up. There is no hurry in this whatsoever. And really just getting back in tune with your children. So I'm excited to see where it goes. And the support from the homeschooling moms online has been huge.
Marina [00:13:23]:
Like, anytime I post a little glimmer of homeschool life, like, the moms come out in forces and they're just like, you're doing so good. Like, imagine what this could be like in two years from now. Like, you're only on six months in. Like, it gets better and better and better. And that has been so encouraging to just keep going. So if you are on the fence of exploring homeschooling, I definitely recommend talking to more moms who are doing it, because I haven't heard one grumble yet. Honestly, like, the moms that are doing it love it, and for good reason. So that's going to wrap up today's episode.
Marina [00:13:54]:
It's a shorty, but just a little update on homeschool life. Fast forwarding from when we started in March to now, June, and moving into fourth grade and the four year old now at home. I am so excited. So I hope that encourages you to keep learning, keep researching. Don't hesitate to reach out to me if you guys have questions and you want to know, you know, what I've learned or what resources we're using today, how our schedule looks like. I'm an open book all the time, so I look forward to hearing from you guys, and we'll see you on another episode.
