This week I’m with Josh Duhaylonsod, an entrepreneurial force in marketing and storytelling with a rich background in creative direction for global entities like Inspired Church, and well-known brands such as Kendall Jackson and Red Bull. This episode, hosted by Marina, delves into Josh's professional journey and his holistic approach to business, which combines faith, family, and strategic marketing. Learn how Josh's company Salt & Light Collab brings innovative production, podcasting, YouTube content, and social media expertise to the business landscape. Gain insights on the art of work-life balance, the power of storytelling in branding, and the untapped potential of platforms like LinkedIn for professional growth. Whether you're a business owner looking to enhance your brand's presence or someone seeking guidance on integrating faith into entrepreneurship, this discussion with Josh will provide valuable wisdom and practical tips for making an authentic and impactful difference in your industry and personal life.

Mentioned in this Episode:

Pound for Pound Leader - Pastor Mike Kai

The Dharius Daniels Podcast

Atomic Habits by James Clear

The Four Hour Work Week by Timothy Ferriss

Marina Tolentino

https://www.marinatolentino.com/

IG: @marinattolentino_

YT: @marinatolentino

Subscribe to my newsletter for more behind-the-scenes and encouragement from me! https://marinatolentino.myflodesk.com/worklikeamother

Transcript:

All right. On this episode of the work like a mother podcast, we have something super special. So, number one, he's actually the owner of the company that is doing this whole production, this whole get up that we got going on today. So it's looking sharp. We love what it's doing so far, but we have Josh with us. So a little bit about Josh. I mean, multi talented of all facets. I would just say, like, the whole thing.

But quick background is you have a bachelor of fine arts. You're the creative director for inspired church for over three years, which we know and love here locally, but it's also a global church. So a lot of work on the marketing side on that. Previously, you worked with huge brands like Kendall, Jackson, Red Bull, you name it. And I think just speaking with you before we even hired you, your experience goes beyond years. It's more like just the variety of companies you worked with at different scales really created what you are today, which is salt and light collab, which is pretty cool. So the company alone does a whole bunch of things. So marketing, social media events, like the choreographed drone situations.

You got that unlock recording studio for artists. You've got podcast production, YouTube production, and more. You're also a papa to two little kids, which is very awesome. Our kids go to the same preschool. And now you're the new owner of a bar called Gatsby in Honolulu, which we were stoked about. That's opening very, very soon. So to say you have a full plate is an understatement.

Big time. But we'll just cut that. That was perfect. And we'll just repeat that. That was awesome. Exactly.

But thanks for being here. Absolutely. We have a lot to talk about, first of all. But how do you juggle it all? Tell me about that right now. Every time I talk to you, I'm like, okay, he's off to the next thing. What is life like right now?

Yeah, I feel like we're always, like, crossing paths. I see you drop your kid off, and I drop off my kid. I think it's just. It just. Well, first of all, it reverts back to just how my wife and I, how we operate. We try our best to put God in the center of everything, and we find that things just slow down when we take a second and we just talk it out because she's really busy, I'm really busy. But a priority right now is to really be present. And so how to be present, but how do we still lead? How do we still manage? How do we lead from the front that's always been something.

But I think when we prioritize what matters most and how we go about our day, God just seems to work it out. I don't know how he does it amazing, but he does. And so we just lay it out there and I think that's really how we go about our day.

And to set the tone, your wife works full time?

She works twelve hour shift, nurse practitioner, so five days a week.

Yeah, but she's working the grind and she's communicating it.

Yeah.

So you guys are doing this at a very high level and still parenting, still owning businesses. It's possible, but it's with a lot of communication.

Yeah, communication. I think naturally, I'm just not the best communicator. And she's a very good communicator. So she's very detailed. I can speak, but she's more of like a planner, a highlighter, and a writer and a journaler. And I'm most of like, let me just speak it out loud and pray about it and think about it. And so I think early on when we started to, God started to build our family and we just had one kid, we really got down to some sort of a rhythm. And then you had the second child and then forget it.

That rhythm is just like out the door.

It's survival mode.

Yeah, it really is. And it's like, okay, you got this and I got this. And I heard three is just crazy. And then four, you're just good. Like, you can just handle the world. Nothing happens. You can go from four to like eight. That's what I hear.

But, yeah, I think it really is working together and just finding how we both operate and then what the kids need and then going backwards from there.

Absolutely. Yeah. So what you do now is a lot of coaching, consulting, really helping brands get off to the next level. What would you say is the biggest difference between marketing and advertising? Because I feel like we get caught up in that. Is there a difference? What is the difference?

Yeah, all the things that we do is summed up under one major thing. It's we tell stories and we stop at nothing to tell stories. We find that everyone has a story to tell, that God is using you and because he's using you, that story that you've been through and continue to go through matters. And we also see that through the customer side, that if you want people to become a fan, to go from just a casual customer to a fanatic, they buy into what you're selling by your story. People love Apple. You think of Steve Jobs, you understand, oh my gosh, this guy started something from nothing. And you can kind of go back. Tesla and all these big companies, their story matters.

And so I think for us it starts with story and then the difference between the branding and then the marketing is branding truly is understanding your story and putting that story together in a way that customers can understand it. Marketing is telling that story. Okay, so sometimes when I see a company and I'm like, wow, man, you've got such a good product. You do so many amazing things. A good service or you have a good product and you tell that your story is just not being told. Let's just say you do a lot of marketing, aka putting your story out there, but then the story itself may not be the best. And sometimes it's vice versa. It's like in my opinion, you ever see those movies where the preview is just so phenomenal, I got to watch that movie.

And then you watch the movie and you're like, wow, I just saw the whole movie in the preview. There was nothing more to it. So we like to take that step back and just really define what is that story? What's the beginning, middle, end? Where's the crux? And then how does that story in turn motivate people to want to buy into your company?

That's so good. And I think just for a real estate example, I think when everyone gets their real estate license, all of a sudden you're switched. And like, all I can talk about is real estate. So how do you coach and advise people to be themselves, to be authentic, but to also pitch themselves and help their clients, how do they connect those dots?

Yeah, so I look at it in a more spiritual way, but basically God has made up everyone with their own specific story and there's no one person with the same identical story.

100%.

So if you just understand that what you've been through, what you're going through is your story and you embrace that, you will uniquely be you. And then if you take that and you go, okay, I'm built for x and this is my story, then naturally you're going to understand the type of customers that you're going to gravitate to, or they're going to gravitate to you naturally, or if you're going to customers that are not natural to you, you know where you need to work.

Yeah, absolutely.

So it really is understanding where your story comes from and just being comfortable, which is actually the hardest thing, is to be real comfortable, raw with yourself. That's normally not what people want to do in their business?

Yeah, absolutely. And I think everyone, all entrepreneurs aside, they get so sidetracked by what's working or what's popular, and so they just start to copy everybody. And that's even like, what the social media gurus say is just copy this audio, just copy the thing. And then before we know it, we're, like, creating this whole brand that's not even us. We're wondering why we're not getting the output and everything. So instead of somebody thinking that they need to be this thing, I guess, what impact have you seen that's changed when people do get real and get vulnerable? Can you think of a story or.

I look at it as there's a 1% of innovators. So if you just go through the world and you think of people who are innovating things, creating new things or bettering new things, there's 1% of them. And then the rest, the 99% is not that 1% is the imitators. And so I found the difference between innovation and imitation is that the innovators are the ones that can look at something and say, hey, you know what? I've got to put myself into this and I've got to better this program or this system. And you kind of hit on it. The 99% is following that 1%. Well, I think, for me, how do you become that 1%? Well, if you're uniquely you and you're just doing your thing now, it doesn't mean that you can't look left and right and learn, because we all should be gleaning. We all should be learning.

We should be reading right. Shout out, Pastor Mike. Readers are leaders, so we should be learning. But at the end of the day, we've got to understand that God's given us our own task to be innovators. And so I can tell an innovator right off the bat, I'm going to give you some props here. You are an innovator. What you do, how you do it, how you think. I work with a lot of clients, and a lot of clients just want things to be done.

And what does everyone do? Well, working with you, that's not been the case. It's been, this is how I want it. This is how I see it. And for me, that's what I love, is because we should be encouraging and fostering that in more people. Is that what is it that God's given you? Now, let me get on board with what you're doing. And so if anyone is in real estate, if anyone is starting a business. If you're that working mom, go get it, girl. I would encourage you to just know that if everyone else is doing it, well, then you're just like the 99%.

And I just think that if you took a step back and said, well, no, I'm the 1% and I'm going to do it the way that I'm doing it, that God's called me to do it. While learning, you're going to find that people are going to want to do what you're doing. And that's how everything changes.

Yeah, that's so true. And it applies to any field of business, any product, any marketing. It's just going back to authentically you. And there's a lot of new agents that I'll coach and they'll say, well, Marina, I haven't done anything yet, so who am I? Right? And there's a lot of insecurity and a lot of internal lies we have to overcome. But it's like, even if you haven't done anything in your definition, look at how far you've come, right? You graduated high school, you probably had some trauma in your life. You've overcome a lot of things, and that all becomes who you are as a business owner, despite the sales that you've done or despite the amount of real estate you've sold or whatever. Absolutely. Yeah.

So I took a big social media break from the winter break, which was lucky, so good. I needed it. And also I didn't realize how much it was changing my mindset about life and just that comparison all the time.

Oh, yeah.

Because it's constant noise. There's always something new, there's always something coming out. There's always so and so and so. Going into the new year, I'm like, okay, social media is part of my life. I'm still going to continue to do it, but how can I shift into things that not only feel good, but can screw the algorithm just like are more me? How do you feel like social media is going to go for business in general? Do you feel like the algorithms are shifting? Do you feel like content is shifting? What's kind of on your mind for that?

Yeah, I think the last thing I saw Q four last year, there was a pretty big buz around just customer engagement and sales through social media, specifically in Instagram. And you see this, right? You see this where it's like, wow, I love that post. I love what she's wearing. Where can I get it? Well, the technology and the way that VR is working, you're going to be able to get a distinct link from that post and go, oh, let's click on it, let's buy it. So my thoughts is, this year you're going to see a lot of integration between shop and Instagram, shop and Facebook a lot more. So even in just common posts, even in stories with links, where I believe this micro influencers is just probably going to push even more, it seems like it's growing, but I don't think we've even really gotten there yet.

Yeah.

I also know that a lot of companies, instead of paying massive dollars for one or two big influencers, they've gotten to the habit of going less money with more influencers. We call them close circle influencers. So if you were to think about this way here in Ho peely, like you are a gatekeeper, a lot of people might have purchased their home through you. So giving you a few hundred bucks to be representing a certain company, we would hit this community. And so I think the new strategy will be companies will give money to smaller micro influencers that they know bigger families or bigger communities will gravitate to, and they're going to spread the money out a little more. So maybe those are the two major things that I've seen. Another one is I've seen life engagement go up. So a big one that I think is going to be huge for everyone.

Is LinkedIn just talking about this, really? Okay. Yeah. LinkedIn is like the sleeping giant. Yeah. And it's very intrusive, and you give them that information. So just heads up, just know that if you're LinkedIn, yeah. People can look you up and they can see your credentials, and you're publicly saying, this is what I've done in my life. Right.

So it's like a walking, living, breathing resume. And so with that, I think there's going to be a lot of customer and business engagement there, and I think there's going to be a massive b to b growth opportunity there. So if you have a business, car dealer, real estate, things like that, LinkedIn is definitely something you should be looking at. Because the way that they're starting to do everyday stories, kind of like Instagram and Facebook, I anticipate that to grow. So that's something they can.

No, I just listened to. It's Amy Porterfield had an interview. I'm, like, blanking on the chick's name. But she also runs a podcast network. She said 135,000,000 users on LinkedIn and only 5% create content.

Oh, yeah, that's it.

And so if you post, not only is LinkedIn going to boost it more, but specifically, if you're in line with what LinkedIn mission is and their audiences, then they're going to boost it even more. But you can't link out to anything. They want to keep you in the app, of course. So you've got to have the content organic there. But I think to me, it's boring. It's a little sleepy. And so I think if you could just put it on autopilot, right? Just delegate it out. It doesn't have to be you personally.

There's total domination efforts there in a way that's really niche into your audience. You can search in working moms, you can search in remote jobs, like really get into your audience. So that's exciting. I think we're going to try it.

I read a crazy fact. So out of all the social platforms, LinkedIn is the most viewed during work.

Hours, which is awesome.

I mean, I don't know how like, yeah, that's crazy. It's like, is everybody looking for other jobs in their current job?

This looks professional. So I can do it on my computer, but I have a couple of girlfriends who every time I post something, they comment within 5 seconds. And I'm like, you are definitely working.

Yeah, you're really bored. You should probably maybe not be hitting me up.

But I think, again, the network wise, we're not using it to its fullest potential. So there's the option to do recommendations for your peers, just a way to boost each other as a love tap. Right? You could totally do that. But the people don't do it right now. Yeah, I'm excited. We'll see what LinkedIn brings. Okay. And then let's talk about podcasts for a second.

So we kind of had the discussion before we started, but podcasts are also very untapped. Is it too late for someone to start a podcast? And why not?

No, not at all. I think it's just general communication. So if you just go back, and this is just how I see it, right. So at first it was always written and go back to theater and Globe theater and these carts that would just travel from town to town, and that's how they would do communicative, fun things. And then we move into the radio, and the radio was such a big deal, right? Like, wow, you can actually hear someone's voice across islands and waters and states. And then obviously we started to move into the moving picture and video. And then let's go into the 90s. What's up, Internet? And how that's kind of moved forward into.

Now we're moving into social media, right. And so social media is just a way where people get most of their news now on social media, conventional television rates, I don't care what anybody says, has been know. Even the analytics, the analytics in which they used to measure. Right. They would use these Nielsen reports, and they still do. And the idea is like, oh, you have this household and these household, and there's eight people in this house, so therefore, this many. It's like no social media can tell you. Exactly.

I can tell you right now, like, that phone at this IP address was on this ad for x amount of time. So we know how clear the communication has gotten and how connected we've gotten. And what I've learned is podcast is a very non intrusive way of getting people to know you.

Yeah. It's intimacy, kind of.

It really is. It really is. Look, we're in your house, right? Like through the door, and we just plopped here on the table and we started talking. Right. And it's one of those things where I think podcast allows you to introduce people to who you are. But then it's such a good method of communication because not everyone can watch all the time. So it's kind of got the best of both worlds, like the best of streaming, if you're doing this on YouTube like you are, and then it's like the best of radio because people can listen to it when they. And so what we know is that autonomy is like the big thing.

I was just reading a book. It was about habits. I forget. I'll send it to you.

Yeah.

I was like, no, I love atomic habits. No, it was a new one, and it was headway. You ever see headway, the app? Headway. The app just condenses everything to 15 minutes so you can smash through books, and if you're working, mom, you don't have time. Something you can look forward to. And one of the major points was that everyone now they want autonomy. They want autonomy with their time, with their finances, to be able to do what they want to do when they want to do it. And so it used to be they would call them the x workers.

Now they're called the I workers. And the idea of these I workers is this autonomy to do what they want to do. And so podcasts really allows people to just listen when they want to listen. And we find that the number one and two most delegated time for podcasts is working out and car drives. Absolutely right. So you can probably if you're listening to this, if you're on a car drive, honk your horn. Because you know what's up? The truth is that people want to listen to it when they want to listen to it. And, yeah, so I think, is it too late for a podcast? Absolutely not.

Was it too late ten years ago to be on the Internet? Absolutely not. Was it too late 30 years ago to be on television? Absolutely not. Was it too late to be on the radio 50 years ago? Yeah, absolutely not. It's only growing.

That's true. And I think looking back too, it's like, who's in it for the long game? Same thing with YouTube. It's like, okay, I could have tried it for six months and threw in the towel and I'd have 200 followers right now, two and a half years later and 250 videos later, we only have 1000 subscribers. But it's real money, it's real business that goes through there. And so now it's evergreen and it's living when I'm sleeping, it's business all the time. Same thing with this podcast. It's going to produce for years and years and years. But I have a dedication for at least a year to get started and then we'll see where it goes.

But I'm really trying to go into it with no expectation and just really create authentic connections. But I think another thing with podcasts is you can go deep, right? Because so much of social media now is 60 seconds or less, 10 seconds and viral and da da da da da. You don't really ever get to build that relationship with the person where this is a real conversation. We're going to go on for 30, 45 minutes, and then by the end you're like, if I bump into you a coffee, I'm actually going to know who you are. Yeah, totally different.

And podcast lends itself to being a little more raw, right? It's like, okay, we edit, we do things, but we can't edit everything.

No.

And the best podcasts, like the ones that I listen to, I like the mess ups. I like when people have to take a second to think about their answer. So it kind of lends itself to this rawness. And if you strip back social media, that's really what it is. It's just people, they're trying to get a real beat on people, whether they're doing that or not, it's a whole nother question, but that's what it does. And then I'll give you another encouragement. We talk about these numbers and things have been inflated so much like, oh, I've only got 500 followers. I want to be this influencer.

I need 20,000. But here's the thing. If you were to just put yourself at Aloha Stadium or at the park and you were to invite 500 people just to be there, you would cry. Yeah. Like, 1000 people would fill most of that park. Any event that you would ever do, and 1000 people comes. That's a huge success. Right.

So it's kind of like, I think some people we lose. Like, these are real people.

Absolutely.

These are real eyes. These are real souls. You're actually pouring into it. And let's just say you have an effective rate of 10% of that. Thousand people, 100 people really love what you're doing, or even less. Let's just say, like, 1%. Right. If you think about it, ten people.

Those are ten lives.

Dining table.

Yeah, exactly. And so I think we've gotten to this point where we look so much at the numbers, but we don't understand, like, these are real people, real eyes, real families. And if you measure it that way, extremely successful. You should be really proud. We're in media, and I haven't really put much time on myself or our company or whatnot. We just want to help others. And if you're reaching 1000 people, I think you should be really proud of.

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. That's such good reframe. Right? Big picture. Okay. And then recently, you've hooied up with aloha acquisitions. I wanted to talk about that a little bit. So tell me how you got involved.

What does this look like? What's kind of. Why get involved with, like, we're always on this entrepreneurial journey of, okay, I started a business. I was an owner operator. I got freaking frazzled right then I hired a couple assistants. But how do you get out of being owner operator to then start to do more? What does that look like?

Yeah, I think when you change, there's a switch that flips from always having to run everything into, like, okay, I trust the people that, like, got with me. I really do trust the people that are here. Shout to Cody. Shout out to Rayan. Shout out to everyone. They're good people, so I can trust them with that. And then when it comes to investment, I have kind of two major criteria. One is heart posture.

You can have a lot of money. It doesn't mean it's success. It doesn't mean that you have happiness. It doesn't even mean that's your calling. So the first thing is, I look at the heart. And then the second thing is, I look at what I can learn and what they can teach me. And so a lot of acquisitions. When I met Anthony, when I met Jeremy, first of all, if you know Jeremy, he's on social media.

He's everywhere. He's just ball of was to me, he was really transparent. And I was like, wow, this guy, it was at a point where I don't think he would mind. I think he said he wasn't crushing it. And he's like, man, I'm getting killed this year. Yeah. I was like, dude, that's phenomenal that you can just kind of look at yourself in that way and almost laugh about it because he crushed it the year before, and he's been doing really good things since. And to me, that's a humbled posture to be able to say, hey, you know what? I don't got it all figured out.

Because that's the truth. I don't either.

Yeah.

No one does. I'm hiring better. I'm hiring up. I'm hiring smarter, because I don't know those things. I know what I know. I don't know what they know. And so when I met Jeremy, that was something that was super apparent, was I kind of felt like I could come alongside this guy because there are things that I can help him with, for sure, but there are things that he's learning that maybe I don't need to lose some things to learn. That's the key of wisdom, is being able to learn through others and some of their choices.

So that was Jeremy. And then with Anthony, to be the age that he's at, to understand what he's owning and operating and how he does it. Talk about a guy who really puts a system in place and steps off. And it's something that I think everyone that invests and runs businesses, we strive to do. We're not control freaks. Yeah, exactly. Because this is our baby, right? We go to bed, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about staff, thinking about clients.

I'm thinking about all these things. And if you care, which you should care, then the idea is, I'm trying to provide solutions for people, and I can't turn it off. And when I met him, it was remarkable. He just said, like, listen, I come in.

Yeah, he's got a switch.

Yeah. I look at this system, I tweak it to what I know best, and then I let them do their thing.

Cool.

And I just admired that. It was something that was super attractive, that I was like, I need to learn this. And so that's why I really got involved with them. And the way I got involved with Gatsby was we were working together on their podcast, and we just started to build a relationship. And there were things that I was bringing know that I think they were learning, and then it just became this thing of, like, this makes sense. We should be working together. So the heart posture for me, from what I've learned, what I've seen. Check.

And then can they learn? Can I learn? Check.

Check. Love it.

That's why.

And that's really the collaborative effort. And your company is called salt and light collab. But I think going back to that, it's like you got to look for other talent, too, and realize you can't ever do it all number one. But right now I'm working with an investor who wants to bring me in on investment deals because I have a role and he has a role and then his partner has a role. Right. And so it's like, I'm not trying to come and orchestrate the whole thing anymore. I can come in and just own my thing and not have to worry about all the rest of it. But then that allows you to shine at what you're good at and really teach other people around you, too, who recognize they don't have the skills that you have, and you can do more and impact more people that way, which is really cool.

But one thing I know in my heart, I know as an entrepreneur, I'm not just supposed to do one thing, I'm supposed to do more. God has a higher calling for me and a bigger impact to reach the community. And so it's like, I'm definitely watching. I'm loving seeing the journey, so keep sharing it. We're so excited to go party at the bar. It's going to be fun, but it's cool. It's super cool because not a lot of people are doing this. This is a higher level of entrepreneurship.

For, you know, our mission in is, you know, we really want to help people. And then you would go, well, Josh, why are you part of purchasing a. Like, I really believe that my calling is to be that bridge between what I know as who christ is in my life and then what people are doing, and there's no shade. I was in the wine industry. I worked for Red Bull. I love these people, and I just feel like we can do things. So in my opinion, being a part of the Gatsby is really an extension to being able to do things right, to just bring healing and comfort and love and being able to. If you worked in restaurants, which my wife and I talk about this all the time, we feel that if everyone just spent one year in the hospitality industry, like a server, a buser, working a hotel, I think the world would be a better place.

And you always find, like, a family there. I worked at Monkey pot. I loved monkey pot. Some of my best friends are from monkey pot. Right. And we just had such a good bond, I realized a family is a family, whether it's a crazy family or if it's a thriving family. So I just felt like, oh, there's a family here, and we can bring more light to it. We can have a good time.

We can really bless people. And that was the opportunity that we got to do.

Yeah. Well, and as you're talking about it, I'm just thinking, you're literally bringing Jesus into the bar, which is how cool his life was accused for. Like, why are you eating with the tax collectors? Right. Why are you doing all this? Well, now there's an opportunity. The door is open, and you'll just see what happens. That's the coolest part.

Yeah. And maybe there's a part of me, like, I'm not far from any of it. Right. That's the truth. The truth is that, yeah, I'm a different person. I operate different, I think different. I love God, I love my family. I love my wife, but I was brought up in that as well.

And not to say I'm better or they're worse or they're better or I'm worse. It's just to say, I know what worked for me, and I love where God has me, so why would I not want to help others get to that place?

Exactly.

Right. And then sometimes some people just need to find a solid, comfortable place where they know that they're going to be secure and taken care of, so then they can make those next steps. Right. Not everybody wakes up and says, like, I want to work at this restaurant for the rest of my life.

No, some.

Maybe. And maybe they'll go and be a general manager, but, I don't know, 95% of them, they're just passing through. Right. And so that means that's the next Elon Musk. That's the next head of Bank Hawaii, whatever it is. And so I think that's how we're going to help Hawaii is by doing things.

Yeah. Because you have the whole wait staff, everybody, even, like, all the people who.

Provide the goods, and the whole community is involved. Yeah.

That's awesome. Maybe if I'm growing some flowers. I can provide the Flowers on.

Let's go.

There we go.

Oh, see, that was easy. See, she snuck that in there. That was awesome.

No, awesome. Well, to wrap this up, I mean, definitely, I want to go back to the work life balance with your spouse, with Sam. So she, again, heavy, full time work and still doing the juggle. How are ways that you guys prioritize dates? What's your circadian rhythm for your family? Like?

Yeah, give me a second. Because, man, that's a heavy question. Yeah.

I mean, do you have weekly rhythms that are, like, must do or a monthly rhythm? How do you center yourself again?

Yeah. First off, church Sundays, it always starts with church. It starts with God. As much as I like to say I do my divas every day, sometimes I mess them, but I try my best to really stay in the word, and I know she does as well. And then throughout the day, we're always texting each other and whatnot. Her current schedule, she was able to change it, so now she can be home. So family dinners, it's a must. It's something that we do.

We also pray before we leave. It's like something that I'll never take lightly. Right. Like, before we leave, we pray over a day with the kids. We'll pray over her job, over Judah at school, Paisley at my mom's. Hi, Paisley and me at work and whatever that looks like. So those are, like, some non negotiables or the things that we always do. I think the second thing is understanding the seasons.

I remember Pastor Darius Daniels says something about control, how control is an illusion. So you think that you can control things, but you really can't.

No.

And so we're in a season where we can't measure tit for tat. We can't say, well, I'm doing this, so you do that. Or, Josh, you did 20 things, and Sammy did one thing, or Sam did 15 things, and I did four. We're really in a season where, okay, maybe I have to be the one to have a little more flexibility in this season, because there's been seasons where she's been lit. And so going back to Darius Daniels and understanding control, if we don't have control and we give up the control, we know that God's just going to kind of. I see it in these bars that shift, like, josh Barr and Sam bar, and kind of, like, more or less.

But it's still 1 bar.

Yeah, exactly. It's still 1 bar. And then being able to communicate and say, like, oh, my bar is like, full. I'm, like, dying. And you really need some time. And admittedly, we can do better at this. We always talk about it, like, man, we are so busy. Another big thing for Sam and I and how we do things.

We're learning to say no. We're really big connectors. We love our friends.

Very social.

I just take it personal. Like, if I'm going to commit to a friendship or something, then that's, like, I'm serious about it because I'm out. If I'm in, I'm in. And so it's been hard because even good things, even though they're great, doesn't necessarily mean that they're good in that season. So being able to say no to the good thing, where it's like a gathering or a friends thing, and, yeah, we want to support them. We want to love them. But just in this season, if we do that, then we're going 14 days without any time for ourselves. Not to mention, like, the house is dirty.

Let's be real here. Having a cook and prep and groceries and car. And so I would say just understanding that this is a somewhat tough time. There was this chart that I saw, of course, on instagram, so who knows how real it was? But it had, like, this bell curve, and it was talking about how much time you get with your kids.

Oh, I've seen it.

You saw it.

And after 18, it's just.

Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I was like, okay. Then I started counting back the time. Okay, I got 14 years with my son. Right? I got 17 years. So crazy. I got 17 years.

But then it's like, so two things got from that. Hold my kids close. Say yes to them as much as I can. The second thing is, keep pouring into my marriage because they are going to be gone, and it's just going to be her and I. And we got big plans. God's got big plans for us as a marriage, as a couple. And so those two things I'm trying my best to hold on to.

Super good. And so glad that you recognize that, because that's the season we're in, too. I'm just like, okay, roman is eight, almost nine. We only have time to take in. It's like, oh, my gosh, it's going to be in middle school before I know it.

It just so crazy.

Goes by so fast. But one of the things you said is learning to say no. Do you have a good script? Because one thing that women suck at is saying no. We are yes women, everyone.

Okay, so I kind of always revert to comedy. I don't know why, but I think the truth is just coming out and saying it. We love you. We're not going to be able to make it. Hopefully we can make the next one. And just being extremely clear, because there was a season where I was like, oh, we'll try and make it if we can. Don't be that guy.

I know.

Don't be that guy. Yeah. Because then they're like, okay, they might make it. And then when you're on the receiving end of that, too, sometimes it feels almost inconsiderate, like, oh, man, do I say food? Do I not say food? Do I have a. So the church did an amazing last message. Pastor Dominic did it. Pastor Mike did it. And it talked about the top three things that you learned from 2023, top three things that you're going to take for 2024.

But there was one thing that really hit me. It was like, who are you bringing into this next year? And it got me to really think and pray, like, okay, in this season, not last season, but this upcoming season, who are the people God's put right in my life that I have to really take an extra step in commitment with? And so I wrote those names down and I've just kind of said, okay, and Sam knows them, too. Like I told her, I said, here are the people. Yeah. And whether it's me pouring into them because I feel like they're an unpivotal part of their life or them pouring into know, I just had to lay that out. And unfortunately, not saying that if you're out of that circle, you don't get credit, but it does help me prioritize a little. And those people I do spend a lot of time with, so it kind of works out.

Yeah, absolutely. No, that's really good. I think just what you said, that I love you, we're not going to be able to make it, but that first, I love you. We don't even say that. We're just like, what the heck do I say?

I want to be there, or like.

I know I'm going to kick myself if I say yes. So good. I call them bumper lanes. Like, we got to have these boundaries.

So good.

Bumper lanes. Otherwise, we're just going to be like, throwing balls at the wall.

Here's the thing. If you say I love you often and you really mean it, I think that people actually receive it well.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's like when you do things out of the ordinary and they're like, man, you're saying you love me just because you can't make it to my party. So that's something that. I think it's like something so small, but I've definitely through some trials, tribulations, through things that we've been through as a family, things we've been through as friends. It's like every moment I do get, I will tell anybody I love them if I really love them, because it's important.

Yeah. And we don't say it enough, we don't hear it enough. So if we can be the one to bring it back into the conversation, it's like, I am loved by these people.

And, guys, we have a hard time.

Oh, yeah.

We have a hard time saying I love you. We have a hard time saying, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

And so I'm not the best at it. My wife could probably tell you that, but trying.

Yeah.

And maybe those two things, I don't know how that helps, but, yeah, that's super good.

I think people are taking some mental nuggets for sure on that one. Yeah, super good. Okay, well, we'll wrap it up. I think. Biggest thing, I mean, if we could end it with one big piece of advice for someone who is in a similar situation, but they're feeling very frazzled and overwhelmed, what advice do you have for that woman? Or maybe for the husband that she sends us to? Is there anything?

Yeah, I think there's no r1 way to do everything. Just God does things in so many ways. And if you're just confident in knowing that he's got you on a path, and if you don't believe in Christ, which I do, just know that I think that there's always something higher that's working in your good. And I call that Jesus. But if you need encouragement, just know that it's supposed to feel frazzled at the moment. Things go too well is when. And anybody in business will probably tell you that if it's going too well, you probably got to stop and go, wait a minute. There's probably something I'm not seeing.

Maybe there's a reason why it feels the way it does. It used to be this mentality where I would work for someone and I'd be like, when I have my own thing, I'm going to be able to turn off work. I'm going to be able to do my own thing. But the truth is actually opposite. You live with it. It is your baby, you sleep with it. It is something that's always occupying your mind. So just know that's how it's supposed to feel.

And then if you're a guy and you have a wife that's starting a business, I mean, this is just me, and I hope I'm not overstepping, but being their biggest supporter, being their biggest cheerleader, being guy, girl, doesn't matter. It is hard. Business is not easy. It's not for the faint of heart. It is definitely something that you've got to commit fully to, and it makes life so much easier when you go, I've got a support system, and they got my back, and sometimes that's all someone who's frazzled needs. And if you don't have that, pray through that, because that's a big thing.

Yeah, absolutely. That's so good. That's so good. Okay, let's end this with our rapid fire. So, what is your Starbucks order?

Okay. If it's Christmas, it's got to be peppermint white mocha all the way.

Yeah, that's a good one.

Christmas doesn't start for me until you get that sip. Peppermint white mocha.

That's the key to the kickoff.

Yeah. It has to be almond milk or sore milk, but, yeah.

Okay. That's a good one. What do you make for dinner if it's last minute in your mind? Like, what do you get?

Lately, I've been doing okay. So you go Costco, and you get, like, the big, thin sliced steaks, and then we food savor. Like, I'll portion out, like, five portions, and then I'll go ahead and I'll do, like, a quick meachin.

Yeah. Just quick fry rice.

Yeah, no, meachin'like. With the egg and fry it. Yeah. Shout out to the.

Okay, awesome. What's your fave? Go to department of target. Do you have one?

Oh, man, target.

Yeah.

I'm a food person. I don't know. I'm like a fat boy. I don't know. Like, anything that's, like, food related. They've got, like, really cool, healthy snacks. I find myself in there all the time. The chip section.

Always 100% always there. And then definitely. I don't know if I'm just feminine. I don't know. But. Joanna Gaines section.

Yeah.

I don't know. It's, like, inspiring. I always go there, and I'm always marketing, so I'm always looking like, what are they doing? So I learn a lot there.

Yeah, same. I go in there not only to just enjoy and be in the presence of all the beautiful things, and I take notes. I'm like, what is the font that they're using.

Exactly. Right. The colors, like. Okay, sage. That makes sense.

That's so funny. Okay, name a book or a podcast you'd recommend to the show audience and why.

Yeah, well, if you're in a. I listen to a lot of political stuff, but definitely Pastor Mike's podcast, for sure, on leadership is really, really good. Inspire Mike Kai, that's huge. Darius Daniels podcast is phenomenal as well. If you're into books, atomic habits is great. Five hour work week. Great. Bible proverbs, 100%.

Read one every day. Yeah, if you can get proverbs and psalms, that's kind of the go to.

Great. TikTok or Instagram?

Oh, Instagram all the way.

Why is there one?

TikTok is for young people. There's no real money there. I can go on and on and on. Business. Yeah, all that stuff.

Where can people find you online right now?

Oh, saltlightcollab.com. You can see us everywhere. I got a few things in the works as well.

Yeah. So if you're a business or a brand and you're ready to kick this off and get serious about marketing and I think just really expanding your voice and your platform and telling your story, Josh is the guy. Thank you. So this is a great episode. I'm so excited, and I really hope people would re listen and take notes. I think there's a lot of personal and spiritual gems, aside from just business and social media and all that stuff. So, yeah, we'll be back next week in another one, but this is good job.

Is that a wrap?